May I Come Here??????

[Chance]

My name is Vic and yes I am an alke, I have to come and realize that I was an alcoholic before I was an addict. Yet I truly believe that if you are an alcoholic you are an addict but this realization hit me tonight. I have to find my place and today I did a searching of my soul. I have all my life been raised that it is OK to drink but NEVER do DRUGS. Well I made sure that I did do the DRUGS then out of rebellion, yet I did a whole lot of drinking also.

One day my wife (now ex) said "Vic, you are a completely different person when you drink please stop! You can smoke all the pot that you want but don't drink." Well that is what I did, I smoked POT, and POT and POT and POT. Then I started to do stuff that I swore that I would never do, coke, meth, acid, ludes, etc etc...But during that time I did NOT DRINK. I said that I wouldn't, and yes I did keep that promise up until The last time that I went back out.

I drank, smoked pot, meth that was available. But today I have to realize that I AM and alcoholic, I was an alcoholic way before I ever picked up drugs and yet I still find myself in addiction. Not so much with drinking or using but my new addiction has been the AA program for the past 3 weeks. I have put down the NA Basic Text and have just focused on the AA Big Book. I have found that my attitude has changed like I have never seen. I am worried in a way though, am I now trying to deny my addiction or am I truly facing my real addiction Alcohol...I love to drink, or I did.

I am not sure why I am saying all of this but I know that I need to get this out. I sometimes feel out of place in NA, there are alot of young people there, maybe that is why, not sure. But I found a home group today and it was in the rooms of AA. I am complicating things here, anyway I just need some advice I guess. I do respect each of you..Thanks

Love Vic

[matt2006]

I proclaim myself to be both an alcoholic and an addict. I drank as much as I smoked pot and did other drugs. I came to the realization that i do not need just AA or just NA, I need RECOVERY. I find that recovery in both programs. something that i heard at all my NA meetings is that "Before coming to NA, many of us viewed alcohol seperately. We cannot afford to make this mistake, it has caused a great number of addcts to relapse. Alcohol is a drug---- PERIOD!"

[Five]

Maybe you could combine the two. I was addicted to booze PRIMARILY but most drugs I took in abundance to.

I guess I have to look at what was closest to my heart, caused the most problems. Most people have a chicken and egg thing going on: when they drink they take drugs. That was the case for me. I rarely, if ever, took drugs when I was sober. Always after a couple of pints.

Hope that helps.

[Music]

Hi Lucky,
Just stick around and don't drink. Funny how things will start to make sense.

[Dan]

Most days, it's the spiritual principles that guide me to the progress promised in the twelve steps. Come to think of it, the spiritual principles are really found, for me anyway, by practicing the steps as best I can, every day.
Doesn't really matter in the end what the shingle on top of the door says, so long as I come in honest

[jlo34]

Where ever you feel the most comfortable, works, whether that be just AA; just NA, or both. Don't have to complicate it. Don't have to analyze it. Just go and get recovery.

Jen

[Chance]

Originally Posted by Five

when they drink they take drugs. That was the case for me. I rarely, if ever, took drugs when I was sober. Always after a couple of pints.

.

Well maybe that just answered my mind I don't know but I can leave alcohol along, I would much rather do drugs. But then when I do the drugs sometimes I would like to drink. But whenever I have relapsed it has been on drugs not alcohol, so now am I not an alcoholic LOL, don't know, I do know however, that I need to quit trying to figure all of this out because now it is making me feel like maybe I don't belong in either. Maybe this is just a damn mess now going on in my head and in reality that is what it is IN MY HEAD>>>

So now I am wondering to I even fit in the AA or the NA Program and that is not good either..

Love Vic

[CarolD]

AA is for those who have a desire to quit drinking.
If that is you....you qualify.

Relax Vic....let recovery flow into your soul.

Blessings....

[virgovic]

Vic,

I do both programs also. My story is exactly like yours. Initially alcohol, but then when I found drugs, no more need for alcohol. I do mostly AA meeting, do one NA meeting a week and have an NA sponsor. Most of my friends are in AA and I fellowship with a lot of people in NA. I read both the Big Book and the NA Basic Text. To me, there is nothing wrong with using both programs when you can relate to both. I introduce myself in AA as an alcoholic and an addict without any concern what anybody else thinks. In NA I do the same. I use the word "sobriety" in NA and use the word "clean" in AA. If somebody has a problem with my choice of program or my choice of words, then they just made it there problem and not mine.

My main priority in life is to stay clean and sober and I'll do whatever it takes to accomplish it. I realize most people have strong beliefs on the two different programs, but it is how I use the programs to better my recovery that counts.

I have never been challenged by anyone, but I have seen the eyes roll, etc. That doesn't bother me because it was their eyes that rolled and not mine. As long my eyes don't roll, I don't have a problem.

For 99% of the time, I am loved and accepted in both programs.

Hope that helps you. You belong where you feel you belong!!! I happen to belong in both.

Vicki

[fraankie]

of course, you can come here
you are "IN"

good read
but
never listen to the wife

[livenletlive]

I can relate Vic. I undestand feeling out of place in NA. Although a great fellowship, my heart lies in AA. I am 27, and could fit in, but I hung out more with Alkies and understand the mind of an alkie more so than a narcotic addict. However, I can't lie to myself, I have done my fair share of narcotics. To me, my drug addiction was more personal and not social. Alcohol was consumed on a more social basis and talks were generated under the influence of alcohol for me.

When I used, I was much more in solitude and that is why I don't think I relate to NA rooms as much as AA.

I am not certain, but that is my take on it.

And, the big book was the original. I get more out of it than NA text. However, the more you read, the more you gain in knowledge, so all the reading you can do is worth it no matter where you are getting info from.

[findingout]

Hey Vic,

Originally Posted by luckyv2

So now I am wondering to I even fit in the AA or the NA Program and that is not good either..

No worries, you fit in either or both. I do both. I started in NA because I didn't want to admit I was an alcoholic. Then I went to my first A.A. meeting three months into recovery. Both programs are good. Both programs have only one requirement for membership:

The desire to stop using.

In N.A. we say that thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many addicts to relapse. While I have not relapsed (yet), it's been my experience that thinking of alcohol as different from other drugs has caused a great many alcoholics to relapse.

One Love, One Heart,
Tony