it's incredible

[BaBa OReiley]

the music i listened to then, and still listen to today., is all about life's misery in addiction. i wonder if i liked it then because of the message it was sending me?

but i didn't know yet i had a problem, or did i?

could i have possibly identified with the artist before knowing where i was headed, or is it just coincidence?

coincidence? you say you don't believe in coincidence? well i do! coincidence is howard's way of telling me he's with me. anytime something happens by chance it's coincidence. look at the words carefully, there's a message in them.

everything is chance, everything happens by chance, this is because i have another chance. howard has granted me a new chance at life through sobriety. anytime something happens by chance it's howard's doing, it's my chance to take advantage of the gift.

so coincidence happens for me. coincidence. look at it. spell it out slowly. break the word down into a base word.

coincidence, coincide. be together, everytime something happens by chance it's coincidence, which is howard coinciding with me, coincide, to be together.

lots of words have hidden meanings, i hope you look at all your words carefully, there's a message in them all.

acceptance, i know there's a message in there somewhere, and howard is waiting for me to find it. maybe this is why i still struggle with acceptance. but i'll keep looking, i'll keep accepting.

anyway, here's some lyrics for ya to ponder........

I think these hands have felt a lot,
I don't know, what have i touched,
I think these eyes have seen a lot,
I don't know, maybe they've seen too much.

I think this brain has thought a lot,
Searching, trying to find the crutch,
I think this heart has bled once too often,
This time it's bled a bit too much.

Too much of anything, too much for me,
Too much of everything gets too much for me.

[fraankie]

yeah, i used to listen to
"the piano man"
for hours on end
wishing i was there
now
when i listen to it
i feel sorrow for those poor souls
anyway, someone shared years ago
"there are no coincidences in AA"

best
fraankie
ps: but who is Howard????????????????????/

[BaBa OReiley]

on the contrary for me, i listen to it now and it reinforces my need to stay sober, i hear messages in the lyrics!

[Gooch]

Used to roll around in the starlight all fired and wired and when I heard "No one knows what it's like to be the sad man" I would think to myself " I do ".. how come he and I are the only ones who do?



When I heard the song after I was straight it meant a whole lot more..

"If I swallow anything evil, stick your fingers down my throat..."

Ya know the fellowship of alkies and addicts I hang out with have been helping me regurgitate the BS I was living by for pretty near 16 years now.

And sometimes .. they tell me some bad news before I laugh and act like a fool.

Most of the stuff that I really thought was going to kill me if I didn't get it out in a 4th came from notes hastily scribbled on whatever was handy when a song on the radio yanked on my heart.

I agree with Baba on this one.. I needed to do more than just avoid the "bad places.." I had to remanufacture my responses and dump the "bad reactions".