Unmanageability??

[odyssey]

here I am bored at work and was thinking about the 12 steps and where maybe I have "issues" with today at just over 2 years clean and sober.

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

of course the first part of the first step is easily understood and I have no interest in tearing it apart and over analysing it to death.

but the second part of the step ... in this context what does unmanageable mean? do our lives ever become manageable?

Yes, i had problems manageing things in my life when I was out there .. bills rarely got paid, persistant fights with the (ex)-wife ect ect ... but is that what it is talking about? I dont think so. I was somewhat of a functional alcoholic/addict, I had the job, the house, the wife, the two dogs. But there was still something unmanagable and even today.

Is this about control and expectations. The fact that I have no control (powerless) over anything and everything except my actions and reactions.

your thoughts ...

[DanaNicole29]

Wow you really have me thinking...I looked it up in the dictionary and came up with this:
un·man·age·a·ble adj.


<DL><DD>Difficult or impossible to manage, as:

1. <LI type=a>Not submitting to discipline; unruly: <CITE>an unmanageable child.</CITE> <LI type=a>Difficult to keep under control or within limits: <CITE>unmanageable traffic congestion.</CITE>
2. Awkward; unwieldy: <CITE>unmanageable bundles.</CITE>

</DD></DL>I believe that even though you were able to keep your life together on the OUTSIDE doesn't mean it was managed well on the INSIDE (spiritually, emotionally, etc.) Your life must be in better shape now or you may have not stayed sober for 2 years (congrats on that by the way )

I don't know really those are just some thoughts...I don't know your situation so I can't judge and wouldn't anyway but my life fell right out from under me and that is why I got help. I, myself, had unmanageability oozing out my pores! .....take care, hope I helped even a little

[odyssey]

that brings up another point ... of course we can all admit our lives were unmanable in many ways when we were out there .. but what about now.

I was taught to review these steps constantly. "you are never done working the steps" is what I hear and I whole heartedly agree ...

so looking over the first step. Yes I am powerless over alcohol (an all other mind altering substances for that matter) but is my life unmanageable. Yes and no. Yes in the fact that I am able to manage my finances, I have some control over my anger and frustration. No in the fact that today I know that to have expectation is wrong. I have no control over what you are going to do or say, this is where I have to rely on a higher power to get me through tough situations.

[DanaNicole29]

you are very right in the sense that everyone's lives have a bit of unmanageability going on but as for the first step I think we only need to refer to it daily to remind us why we should not go back to our old lifestyle. I dunno just a thought...but I understand where you're coming from...I think

[Chance]

ok

[odyssey]

yea ... just bored at work and trying to keep myself entertained

found this : the alcoholic must "surrender," meaning that he or she must admit his or her powerlessness over alcohol and unmanagability of life and must stop depending only on self, while beginning to rely on help from a "power greater than [one's self]

This brings some light to this part of the step for me ... comes back to "We can do what I can not"

then again maybe I just need to keep it simple :P

[Cathy31]

Really interesting, I agree with you both. I think the spiritual unmanageability is key...and how close we are to always being on the verge of 'losing' it if we don't stick close to our higher power...it really makes me think about how unravelled one can be...despite the outward material appearances.

[NoMoBeer]

The Big Book tells me I must quit playing God. I never realized I did that, but when I did (and still do at times), that's when I feel I'm trying hard to MANAGE things. And when they don't go my way, I'm angry.

I guess the way I see this now is that my life is still "un-manageable" in the sense that I need to let God determine the path, trust Him, and be a 'worker.' God always gives me what I need, not what I want. When I try to get what I want, I'm trying to manage again. Don't get me wrong, I still have goals, etc. but I have to accept little signs and whatever as God's will, as His way of keeping me on His path.

Great example I am experiencing currently. I had a triathlon planned for July 24th. I'm ready, I'm trained, I'm excited. Took a trip to NY last week and b/c of the plane ride my back is tweaked again. Guess what? No race on July 24th. I'm not angry, though -- I have to look at this as a subtle sign that I should not be going that route right now. In the past this would have infuriated me, but now I must accept life as it comes.

Hope I didn't stray too much off the subject, but GREAT thread!

Ken

[requiredfield]

At first, I understood this to mean that when I was drinking and drugging my life (thoughts, emotions, relationships, finances, etc) was full of chaos. I guess I believed when I accepted Step one that my life would all of a sudden become manageable. Though of course it has got better.

But now, for the first time, I am seeing this in a different way thanks to Ken. I will never be able to manage my life for myself. That's my HP'ers job. I just sign the contract. Awesome stuff.

[DanaNicole29]

Thanks NoMoBeer! I couldn't have said it better myself!! I am forever learning and I love it!!!

[nutz]

acceptence was what I got out of step #1.
it's dicipline vs. Impluse, mmmm....I'm not posistive.
I managed to run my life into the ground.lol
So how can that be unmanageable ?
It didn't happened over night and took a bit of going out of my way
in many cases. With that said...
It's probably best if I leave it to a mighty force to manage me life.
Oki doki,I admit..I'm a little insane, but not totally crazy.
Yes...yes self will run riot and all that good stuff.
It's a good thing it's over to a GOD of my NOT so understanding.(lol)
Rather that than to some lunatic control freak that thinks she/he is
god himself/sheself....So, common sense kicks in after some exciting experience.lol Belive me there's some sick Summm beeeeitches around.
Maybe future members or juggernautes in training..beats me.
So it would require lots of discipline on my part to PRAY...pray, pray
for those sobs. Mmmm I get a burning desire/impluses at times to
just tell certain creatures to @!#$$ OFF and died .lol
Lovely....they're sick people too.

How can I manage a run away train ?
I'm just a passenger on this wheel and deal.
A leap of faith, courage, or just out right had enough, perhapes.
Good lord save me becuase I'm sick and tire of all that crap.

Somewhere along the line, I really, really want to know what the hell
is going on or at least some truth at some level.
So I start digg'in, eventaully it's best that I try to understand
who the hell I am and what I'm all about...Of course I don't know WTF.lol
Back to the discipline crap again.lol

God grant me something.lol

[FriendofBill]

I suppose if I couldve managed my life better without the 12 steps, I would have.
I didnt because I couldnt. I am an addict(People, not drug) and I cant manage very well without those steps.

[findingout]

Interesting to think about. The second part of the first step reads "that our lives had become unmanagable", it does not say "that our lives were always unmanagable" or "that our lives will never be managable". Nope, it says "had become" which means that they can become managable again. How? By using the steps to bring about a change in our life and then by practicing these principles in all our affairs to the best of our ability.

Compared to three years ago, my life is managable today (except when it's not and even then it's 100% more managable than it was ) I am not running from fire to fire trying to keep them under control by pouring alcohol on them. When I am at my best, I don't start fires anymore and when I am not, I don't pour a flammable liquid on them in hopes that they will go away. I don't spend all my effort worrying about the things I cannot change while ignoring the things I can change, and I am constantly seeking the wisdom to know the difference.

Have I become a saint? Am I perfect? Certainly not. Never was, never will be, and that's not the point. The point is that I am willing to try, and it is the trying that makes all the difference.

One Love, One Heart, Jah Bless,
Tony

[Music]

I'm powerless over alcohol=Did I ever set out to have just one or two drinks and end up getting plastered? Has this happened more than once?

My life is unmanageable=As a result of alcohol use/abuse, has my life been made more difficult or problematic?

IMO, this step has nothing to do with anything other than alcohol. The spirituality, mental and emotional problems come later in the 12 steps. Keep It Simple Stupid!!

[fraankie]

well, lots of good posts
as far as unmanageability
it's hard to unexplain
but
it's like, you know it
when you see it

[livenletlive]

Well, like nutz, I take step 1 as an acceptence step as well as step 2. The rest are action steps.

I also see unmanagability in degrees. This is where the yets come in for me. If I can balance a checkbook now, later I may not have money in my account to balance due to exessive drinking and drugging.

One may be able to manage life to a degree now, but complete unmanagability would follow if one got wetbrain.

It's as simple as when we got drunk and couldn't get off the couch to do our laundry or missed work or whatever we failed to due making our stress rise.

The bottom line is, we all had too much unacceptable senarios in our drinking days and needed to place our faith into these steps. They seem to help me and my life is much more manageable today, don't know about yours.

[collinsmi]

As far as unmanageability, I like what it says in the paragraphs starting at the end of page 44 and through most of page 45. As my sponsor says, when the top of my head is about to come off in a traffic jam, in line at the supermarket, as a result of what someone said/did at work, etc., I'm at step one part 2, and ready for some step work. For me, that's one of the big differences between then and now.