Why we write.

[Dan]

Just for me...

I remember when my first sponsor told me I wasn't writing enough. It was very early on, fresh out of rehab. One night, he told me that I hadn't sufficiently examined step two. Aside from feeling a little miffed, because I thought I had really made an extra effort in putting my thoughts down on paper for this difficult step, (difficult to me anyway), I pretty much accepted his reasoning and threw myself deeper into the pen and paper.
I really wanted sobriety, you see

Well, some seasons have rolled by, and I find myself starting another run through the steps. And the greatest resource, or reference, I have in my hands for an honest examination of where I'm at are these twelve notebooks that were spawned from my sometimes clear, sometimes confused mind, during my first year in recovery.

If there is one thing I'd like to say to the newcomers, aside from the fact that I'm glad they're here, it's to write about your recovery.
No matter if it's only a sentence or two.
Write it. And write it every day.

It ends up being a picture you can look at later, and reflect upon.
And we all know that a picture is worth a thousand words.

[eddie z.]

Does posting on here count? I did go back just this week and find one of my whiny threads from about a year ago. I also do my daily gratitude on here. Seems to be working for me anyway. Thanks for sharing, Daniel!
Love and s always,
EZ

[sunshinebluesky]

ive kept journals from when i was a kid. over the years i have torn out pages, gotten rid of whole books, etc etc!!but it was always a good way for me to talk to someone who understood at the time. ME. most of the time it was writing about things that had me frustrated or angry or depressed. as i got older i tried to put some of the good events in.
its really something how you can read something some time later,and validate your feelings,see how you have grown, or see what a big deal you were making out of nothing.

[lulu70]

I keep a plastic covered spiral note-book and pen in my purse/suitcase at all times. Then, whenever I have a free moment, or if I am feeling angst about something, I have it with me to write. I am really enjoying it. I can't say I write in it everyday, but I do write often.

((((Eddie))))Good idea! I think I'll go back and look for some of my old posts right now. Should be interesting!!

(((((((Dan))))))))

[Time2Surrender]

Great post Dan.I was journaling for a while.Maybe its time to start again.

[lulu70]

Wow. I just went back and read some of my early posts. It is truly amazing how reading something you wrote can totally take you back to where you were then. Not in a bad way, though. I could really see the growth which can be difficult to do from day to day. Thanks for the reminder, Dan. Maybe this weekend I will pull out some of my old notebooks from treatment and just after. I think I will write in my little ole notebook tonight.

Good night, my good friends....

[JT]

I agree Dan,

There is no way you can just think your way through all this stuff. My mind has a way of forgetting the important stuff and adjusting at the most inopportune times.

And no...I don't think posting counts. Not in the beginning. Posting here has ego involved. A pen, paper, yourself and well...yourself...that is when you learn.

Hugs,
her tiredness

[BikerBill8]

Good Post Dan, Writing is part of how we recover. The 10th step is a great tool to use. Thank's Dan.

[eddie z.]

Originally Posted by JT

And no...I don't think posting counts. Not in the beginning. Posting here has ego involved. A pen, paper, yourself and well...yourself...that is when you learn.

JT,
Hope you are not so tired today. And thank you for the feedback! That's a very good point about ego. Guess I need to go find some paper, huh? teehee.
Love and hugs,
Eddie

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Dan my friend, i journaled my first 2 years of recovery. being on here helped replace my journal. The only problem with this is, we can't write down some of are deepest thoughts. i really don't have any $ick $hit I have to worry bout right now.

It's so great to be connected to others in recovery from all around the world. My program gets boring in a little town like I live. I can learn so much from everyone on here!!!

Isn't it still all about ESH? isn't that why we're here??

[eddie z.]

Originally Posted by CAPTAINZING2000

The only problem with this is, we can't write down some of are deepest thoughts.

What about the new Anything But Your Name forum, Chris? Just an idea.
—EZ

[Paulie]

Originally Posted by JT

I agree Dan,

There is no way you can just think your way through all this stuff. My mind has a way of forgetting the important stuff and adjusting at the most inopportune times.

And no...I don't think posting counts. Not in the beginning. Posting here has ego involved. A pen, paper, yourself and well...yourself...that is when you learn.

Hugs,
her tiredness

Great thread Dan. I agree JT. I used to journal when I was a kid...stopped for all the years I was using, I have some stuff from then actually but it is so clouded by drugs, wrote the deepest stuff after being up for 3 or 4 days..NOT LOL.

anyway I started journaling again in rehab...we call it PMW, pray, meditate and write. I have stacks of spiral notebooks from the years clean and it is awesome to read them. the past few years I have graduated to pretty journals LOL, I like them better.

Putting things on paper takes the power away. And I also agree that coming here doesn't count. Getting feed back is essential but just writing between me and my HP is different.

[eddie z.]

Thanks to you, too, Paulie! I'm starting to come around, I think. LOL.
Love and hugs,
Eddie

[Paulie]

Seriously journaling is so important in my life. When I get a sponsee to undrestand that, I can see changes in them. A few weeks ago I was in my shed going through some stuff found the box of journals from my first few years of sobriety...OMG reading some pages was very interesting. Interesting to see how far I have come in some things and interesting to see that I was still stuck on some things too.

It is a GREAT tool of recovery. And for me it is best when I do it first thing in the morning or right before bed...sometimes both.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Eddie,
I'd have to post it under anonymous. You all would say I was a sick puppy



Lu Lu,

it is kind of neat reflecting back at what you've written in the past. Depends on how you've grown and like you said, where you were in your program!!!

[eddie z.]

Chris,
Yeah, my computer automatically signs me on to SR, so I would have to make a little effort to post anonymously on that forum and I haven't felt the need yet. Anyway aren't we all sick ?

The writing I really need to do now is my ninth step. I may actually get that going this weekend now that my "BIG" week is over.

Love and hugs,
Eddie

[Dan]

Originally Posted by JT

her tiredness

Good memories

[CAPTAINZING2000]

LOL

Eddie,

some are sicker then others

[eddie z.]

Good morning, Chris!

Hey, Dan (did you know your name has two syllables down here, and I don't mean Daniel?), what do you think about posting on here as a form of journaling?

—EZ :saeek:

[Gabe]

"The value of writing in recovery from alcohol and other addictions has long been noted in treatment and twelve-step circles. The twelve steps, which are the recovery tools of Alcoholics Anonymous and other programs patterned after it, include two written inventory steps, and there are many twelve-step guide booklets available designed to promote inner awareness in the recovering person through a question and answer format. In addition, many twelve-step sponsors recommend that their "pigeons" (the A.A. term for sponsee) keep a journal as their recovery journey progresses. When used under the tutelage of an available sponsor, counselor, or spiritual guide, these writings can provide the newly recovering person with an excellent recovery tool."
~Jane A.

[Ann]

I was sitting this one out, but something is nudging me to say this. Journaling is private, it's me sharing my deepest thoughts with me. It they need to be shared further than that, my sponsor is ready to hear me. I have journaled for several years and it's very private and all about me.

Sharing here, on the internet, is impersonal and I would not share the same knowing others were reading it. The other side of this coin is, I don't want to read your most intimate thoughts and confessions. I'm not your sponsor.

I think journaling on paper, in a book, or anyplace private is much more effective than using this space to unload your fifth step. On paper is still there years later if I want to look back at my recovery unfolding. Paper doesn't crash, and doesn't count on power to work. It's just better in every way.

Just my opinion.

Hugs
Ann

[Dan]

At the risk of buying myself a whack on the skull from Her Tiredness, I see a certain value, in terms of expression of self, to posting on a message board. The reasons I do it are still pretty much the same as they were when I found this place.
It's a complement, an add-on, if you will, to the things I do to get my sobriety for this 24. And some days, I certainly get more than I bargained for when I joined...

But down to the brass tacks, nothing can replace the value of sitting down, getting still inside, and writing honestly, in solitude, of the ways my obssesions and compulsions are still very much alive within me, even though they may no longer be manifesting in the ways that brought me to recovery.
Just for me, I need to know, to understand what happened to me. I can read books, share and listen at meetings, and share and read here.
But in the end, it's when I revisit the coffee stained notebooks, the ones even my sponsor will never read, that I usually get a glimpse of an answer.

I see solitary writing as meditation.

[eddie z.]

Thank you, Gabe, Ann, and Day-un! Now, I should have an empty book around here somewhere...teehee.

-ez