getting away from AA

[sobatoday]

Hi everyone
I am fairly new to this board. I have been reading it for awhile but never posted. I have been sober and in recovery for years. My dilemma is that I feel I have been getting away from AA in the last month or so. I have been going to about one meeting a week. I usually go to 3 or 4. This is the first time I have ever done this. I really believe in all the principles of AA and I know I have to give it away to keep it. I am scared, somewhat. Is there anyone out there who has gotten in to this funk? What did you do to get out of it. thanks sobatoday

[FaeryQueen]

2dayzmuse posted about this recently....I'm Burned Out. Good advice in there!

Good Luck...Happy U are here!


Tanya


"Be the change you wish to see in the world"
Mahatma G.

[2dayzmuse]

Is there anyone out there who has gotten in to this funk? What did you do to get out of it.

I went to a meeting and it was great. It had all of the good qualities AA provides. Not any of the bad ones I was focusing on. I don't want to wander to far away from AA. It has given me my life back. If there is one thing I have gotten out of AA it is that complacency will get you drunk. Hang in there and stick with what you know works. Today I have a new out look on things and that burned out feeling is lifting. I need AA to survive. I know what will happen to me if I were left out there on my own. I need people like me to relate to. Welcome to SR sobatoday I'm glad you decided to join us. Great place, great people here.

[billbob911]

i have been sober for almost 9 ys. i quit going to meetings thought church would be enough. wrong i started going back to the meetings things are starting to level off again. thank god. this is a lifetme process.

[Wilky]

There is no doubt that at times we will feel that we are off the beam. Don't sweat it. Don't read more into it. Remember....."THIS TOO SHALL PASS".

If it doesnt pass within a week....then I would begin to look at what you are putting before God that makes it more pleasing than going to meetings and being of service to the "Father of Light that presides over us all"!

Take it easy.

Wilky

[Music]

Hi soba,
You said you've been around AA for a while so maybe you remember Fr. Joe Martin. He made a tape long ago titled, "Symtoms of Sobriety." In this tape he suggested that after a number of years in AA, if a person still finds it necessary to go to meetings almost every night of the week, they've missed the point of being sober. I'm like you! I go to one meeting a week, more if I "choose." I needed to go to 6 or 8 meetings a week in the beginning, but I found that at about 8 to 10 years sober, I realized there was more to living life responsibly, and productively than going to AA every night. I needed to do things with my family and friends outside of AA. The meetings are always going to be there but I'd advise against thinking you're in a funk. Fear can make us think strange things and behave in strange ways. Get off your own back and give one meeting a week a try. You can always do more if you want to. The Big Book tells me that I don't have to be afraid any more as long as I'm on good spiritual footing. I can go anywhere and do anything I choose to do. Even good ol' whoopy parties, if I have good reason to be there. Relax and give freedom a try.

[Wilky]

While I agree with Music in all that he has stated, however, I know for me my purpose in life is to carry the message. If THAT is my true purpose, and I really believe it, then I must go to as many meetings as possible. I have attended one meeting a week for the longest time....like a year....and guess what....no one asked me to sponsor them. Why? Because they only saw me once a week. Maybe less if they did not attend that one meeting. Therefore, I was just this old timer that comes in...pounds the big book and leaves.

Think about this: What is more important than helping God save lives?

Balance is the key word. Find a balance between Gods work...and play time.

Wilky

[Music]

Originally Posted by Wilky

Think about this: What is more important than helping God save lives?
Balance is the key word. Find a balance between Gods work...and play time.
Wilky

First off, God doesn't need help saving lives! Secondly, BALANCE is exactly what I'm talking about. AA, work, love and play. That's the balance I strive for. I don't go to meetings to be asked to sponsor people. In the beginning, I went to meetings to save my ass. Now I go to meetings because I "want" to go, not because I "need" to go.

[Millwallj]

We didnt get sober to go to a meeting.


Bill W.

AA induced fear is just like any other fear.

If people are making you feel fear in AA, its because they are fearful themselves.

[2dayzmuse]

What is more important than helping God save lives?

Living the life that God gave us.

Working, taking care of household duties and spending time with our kids and loved ones makes for a full day. Even if I had 24 hours a day to spend doing service work would I want to? Probably not. We need balance. That is something I strongly believe in.

I don't think to much of anything is a healthy approach. Even if it is good for you. When does it cross over the line into obsessive behavior? I may be stretching it a bit here, but sometimes I feel that people do cross over that line. I've seen it.

I also believe that spreading yourself to thin does a dis-serivce to service work. You have to be able to give of yourself fully. With other life commitments, you have to be able to follow through with your service work and not put any commitment on the back burner. Be it family or otherwise. You don't want to sell anyone short. We have to be realistic. Sure we must give back, but it's all about finding balance between AA and just plain living life.

I know we could go off on a tangent about how we wouldn't have a life if it werent for God and AA, but I'm not up for it today. I'm to tired today. Sometimes having a full life is draining. Maybe some other time though. Take care...

[CarolD]

My recovery does ebb and flow. When I am low..

I go to a different meeting. Or I use Paltalk.com for a live on line meeting. Or I reach out to a newcomer.
And...SR is open 24/7.

As I am a senior who lives alone with no job and gave up driving..I have no one to suit except myself.

After my recent 16th anniversary..I have cut back to 2/3 meetings per week. And added a fitness class.

As has been said..Try a new schedule.

Do come back and up date...I a am always interested in recovery!

[Wilky]

Originally Posted by Music

First off, God doesn't need help saving lives! Secondly, BALANCE is exactly what I'm talking about. AA, work, love and play. That's the balance I strive for. I don't go to meetings to be asked to sponsor people. In the beginning, I went to meetings to save my ass. Now I go to meetings because I "want" to go, not because I "need" to go.

"Never avoid these responsibilities, but be sure you are doing the right thing if you assume them. Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery. A kindly act once in a while isn't enough. You have to act the Good Samaritan every day, if need be. It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business. It may mean sharing your money and your home, counseling frantic wives and relatives, innumerable trips to police courts, sanitariums, hospitals, jails and asylums. Your telephone may jangle at any time of the day or night. Your wife may sometimes say she is neglected. A drunk may smash the furniture in your home, or burn a mattress. You may have to fight with him if he is violent. Sometimes you will have to call a doctor and administer sedatives under his direction. Another time you may have to send for the police or an ambulance. Occasionally you will have to meet such conditions."

"Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed. "

"True leadership, we find, depends upon able example and not upon vain displays of power or glory."

So, I rememeber my sponsor asking me if I found time to drink everyday. I said, "yes"....and he said, "Maybe you can find time now that you don't drink to go to meetings?" Remember what it was like?

Wilky

P.S. Thank God that He used my sponsor to HELP save me!

[2dayzmuse]

So, I rememeber my sponsor asking me if I found time to drink everyday. I said, "yes"....and he said, "Maybe you can find time now that you don't drink to go to meetings?" Remember what it was like?

Yes I do, very well. I will never forget it. I think after the quote you posted from the Big Book was written, Bob and Bill found out how important finding balance really was. I get the point, but isn't that a bit extreme these days? Using that as an example today isn't a realistic comparison. Times have changed since the big book was written. Going to a meeting and visiting a santitarium are completely two different things. Wouldn't you say? I also think Bill and Dr. Bob found out the hard way that taking drunks off of the streets and into their homes didn't pan out very well. They had good intentions, but balance needed to find its way into place. I may be off target. Just stating my opinion...

[Millwallj]

Originally Posted by 2dayzmuse

Yes I do, very well. I will never forget it. I think after the quote you posted from the Big Book was written, Bob and Bill found out how important finding balance really was. I get the point, but isn't that a bit extreme these days? Using that as an example today isn't a realistic comparison. Times have changed since the big book was written. Going to a meeting and visiting a santitarium are completely two different things. Wouldn't you say? I also think Bill and Dr. Bob found out the hard way that taking drunks off of the streets and into their homes didn't pan out very well. They had good intentions, but balance needed to find its way into place. I may be off target. Just stating my opinion...

Totally agree.

I look at people who are a lot more sober than you and I and see how much of AA is in their lives.

For many its as simple as praying twice a day, sponsering someone, and doing service.

Depending on how desperate your state is I guess. If your a chronic relapsing type who unstable, then maybe Bills words are the remedy. However, again - AA is not a cult - you dont have to do anything. And if you dont want to do something only the person will find out the repercusions. I dont like being threatened by you must, you should, you could. Thats not how modern human beings work.

But it is how cults work. So good luck Wilky.

[Millwallj]

within politics there are extremists


within religion there are extremists


in arty circles there are extremists


in AA there are extremists.

Perhaps when Bill wrote that it he was going through his extremist phase.

[Music]

When the Big Book was written, more extreme measures were taken with drunks than now. Had to be that way. There weren't any treatment centers. There was a treatment, but it wasn't pretty. When I came to AA, the practice of keeping hard candy, and Kayro syrup were used in the event someone started getting the shakes while he was being talked to.

I don't take exception to the "act" of being available to help someone who needs help. That's my responsibility!! I take exception to the mental state that tells me that I should go to meetings to "fish" for new pigeons. God may enlist my help but it's not my job to sober people up for God. I believe God speaks through all of us. To presume He "needs" my help is egotistical.

[Millwallj]

Originally Posted by Music

When the Big Book was written, more extreme measures were taken with drunks than now. Had to be that way. There weren't any treatment centers. There was a treatment, but it wasn't pretty. When I came to AA, the practice of keeping hard candy, and Kayro syrup were used in the event someone started getting the shakes while he was being talked to.

I don't take exception to the "act" of being available to help someone who needs help. That's my responsibility!! I take exception to the mental state that tells me that I should go to meetings to "fish" for new pigeons. God may enlist my help but it's not my job to sober people up for God. I believe God speaks through all of us. To presume He "needs" my help is egotistical.

Again Music says what I feel.

Spiritual arrogance is thinking you have all the answers to all the dilemas.

Which is the antithisis of humility.

Imagine AA was full of people going MANIC on service; visiting mental institutes, etc - people would run a mile.

[Millwallj]

Originally Posted by Music

When the Big Book was written, more extreme measures were taken with drunks than now. Had to be that way. There weren't any treatment centers. There was a treatment, but it wasn't pretty. When I came to AA, the practice of keeping hard candy, and Kayro syrup were used in the event someone started getting the shakes while he was being talked to.

I don't take exception to the "act" of being available to help someone who needs help. That's my responsibility!! I take exception to the mental state that tells me that I should go to meetings to "fish" for new pigeons. God may enlist my help but it's not my job to sober people up for God. I believe God speaks through all of us. To presume He "needs" my help is egotistical.

Me also think that some AA's enjoy provoking guilt in other members. They say "how many alkies have you helped today", and I just think no I have been to busy trying to a be a good friend to my best mate, a loving family member, a productive worker, a polite young man. Often these guilt provokers dont work, were crushed by booze, and think that its their way or the highway.

Recovery starts in the rooms for all of us, but nothing is simple, nothing is defined, there are NO ABSOLOUTES - I try my best to be a GOOD human today - and I do this because of AA and my higher Power.

So, wilky, if your trying to provoke guilt, then stop it. People - all the people - are trying their best - even if they are doing the wrong thing.

[sobatoday]

hi everyone
Lots of good imput. am feeling better. It is amazing how just attendance at a few extra meetings changes my outlook. What was I sweating anyway?! I agree with what people have been saying. I am a person who needs at least a few meetings a week. I need to remember where I came from and to be around like minded people in recovery. I need the fellowship. Also, it is important to attend meetings just to show others that the program works.
Thanks to AA I have a full and healthy life. So balance is important.
Just need to be reminded once in awhile. I have alcoholism, not alcohol-wasim.
Love in recovery sobatoday

[Music]

Originally Posted by sobatoday

hi everyone
Lots of good imput. am feeling better. It is amazing how just attendance at a few extra meetings changes my outlook. What was I sweating anyway?! I agree with what people have been saying. I am a person who needs at least a few meetings a week. I need to remember where I came from and to be around like minded people in recovery. I need the fellowship. Also, it is important to attend meetings just to show others that the program works.
Thanks to AA I have a full and healthy life. So balance is important.
Just need to be reminded once in awhile. I have alcoholism, not alcohol-wasim.
Love in recovery sobatoday

Good on ya! The meetings are there for us. Take what you need, and leave the rest.

[Wilky]

Originally Posted by sobatoday

hi everyone
Lots of good imput. am feeling better. It is amazing how just attendance at a few extra meetings changes my outlook. What was I sweating anyway?! I agree with what people have been saying. I am a person who needs at least a few meetings a week. I need to remember where I came from and to be around like minded people in recovery. I need the fellowship. Also, it is important to attend meetings just to show others that the program works.
Thanks to AA I have a full and healthy life. So balance is important.
Just need to be reminded once in awhile. I have alcoholism, not alcohol-wasim.
Love in recovery sobatoday

EXCELLENT POST!!! You kinda said it all, soba, and my hat is off to you. You and I will be in those meetings giving our support....rather than watching a foul T.V. show!

Thanks for keeping it simple.
Wilky

[FaeryQueen]

Wilky
As a newbie to AA/NA...only 5.5 months...I can't tell you how awesome it is to see all those folks with double digit sobriety coming back everyday. Something about their consistency and devotion makes me feel like I am really "home"....for the first time in my life. They don't even have to say anything. Sometimes it is just a smile and "hey kiddo how ya doin?".... it means alot to me and has been a big part of my little bit of sobriety....

let them eat cake

Tanya (i'm new at the whole SR thing too )

[CAPTAINZING2000]

Music,

I want to go to meetings but, I need to go as well. I hear a newcommer and it keep my mind fresh. I don't hear the newcommers that come in voluntarily telling how good it was. I do see the court appointed ones coming in because of back problems!!!!

QUOTE:
I don't go to meetings to be asked to sponsor people. In the beginning, I went to meetings to save my ass. Now I go to meetings because I "want" to go, not because I "need" to go.

LOL When, I don't want to go to a meeting, it's because I really do need a meeting. I'm isolating

[Millwallj]

Sorry for going on about extremes etc.

I love AA with my whole heart and everyone in it - even those who I dont agree with.

Meetings are the ONLY place for us, I think. They are beauty personified.

Extremists may help some, may not others but at the end of the day we all want to see people get sober.

Great to hear your going back to the meetings.

[3legacy]

((((((((SobaToday))))))))))))

How things going today?

I used to think I had to go to A.A. then the psychic change set in and I realized -

I "get" to go ....................... for me, for you, for US.