Anonymous

[BikerBill8]

Hey Cap, Don't let this one thing stop you from going to meetings. Keep going no matter what because Meeting makers make it. You arn't the only one that this has happend to people just don't think at times. Just keep your head up. Be Cool. BikerBill8

[mackcat]

i've kinda come full circle on the question of anonymity- when i was new in the program, i had the attitude"i certainly didn't hide from you that i was drinking, why hide my sobriety" - later on i came to discover that this was still my ego wanting to be biggest n baddest n most important -REGARDLESS of how it might affect others.

and, truth to tell, because my life had changed so dramatically, i wanted every drunk in the land to be 'converted'

later on, i got to see that life happens all around us- that 'we are not saints' and that part of the sucess of the program is fundamentally tied to the concept of anonymity: we are protected by this concept [employers, co workers, social workers, etc have no need/right to know]
as importantly, the program of AA is protected- the program will not be judged by my actions.
Finally, anonymity is one more way to keep our egos in check- when i came in the rooms, everyone else there was just another alcoholic with a first name. and that was all. i didn't have to fear or fight some big shot authority. Just had to listen to another drunk's ESH.
man am i grateful for those 12 and 12
mackat

[Gooch]

one of the greatest motivators for finally building that relationship with your sponosr is when you get tired of hearing back through the grapevine, what you decided after sharing ( when you really needed to get it out) was that it was something you really didn't want everyone to know.

Ask me how I learned this one.. lol

Discretion is the better part of valor.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

At one point in AA's early conception b 4 everyone had a phone it was more necessary.

With everyone having phones, cells, answering machines and e-mail 800 Hot Lines for AA. We are not in the back ages as far as getting in touch with AA.

I hadn't an idea of where to get in touch with anyone to find an AA meeting. I did look in our phone book and found Alcohol counselling. I called there and found out the area meetings.

Any one living in a larger town might not have an idea of what it's like to keep everyone from knowing your business. You make the arrest section of the local paper here and everyone knows your name.
You donate blood for over 62 times they don't put that out there. Everyone loves dirty laundry.

I feel for the most part AA is a better class of people then the average person I work with. I've always got help from the people in AA when I needed help.

I want the newcommer in here that we ain't blowing smoke up their A$$ if we say we won't divulge their names we mean it.
I'll get off my soap box, I don't hold any resentments towards the woman for saying it.
This isn't a perfect program, there are no perfect members in AA but, I'm damn proud to belong to this group faults and all

[BikerBill8]

Cap, Good for you.

[2dayzmuse]

Try as you might to do the right thing, usually when something like this happens, it is done without malice and without thinking. Ooops...not intentional, just thoughtless banter.

[mew2]

(((Chris))) the old timer was wrong to out you, where ever.

oh hi everyone, my name is Mary and i AM an alcoholic, i lurk here and post some in the follies. i have been sober 16 years. i'm a cyber servant at another online meeting. i have served on policy committees and such. so, i know a little about the traditions. still learning. the traditions are rules for us as individuals as well as groups. when i drank and such people talked about my behaviors... it was and is still called gossip. if i choose to out myself as a member a of AA. it is my right.

Originally Posted by Big Book 4th edition

11.—Our relations with the general public should be characterized by personal anonymity. We think A.A. ought to avoid sensational advertising. Our names and pictures as A.A. members ought not be broadcast, filmed, or publicly printed. Our public relations should be guided by the principle of attraction rather than promotion. There is never need to praise ourselves. We feel it better to let our friends recommend us.

12.—And finally, we of Alcoholics Anonymous believe that the principle of anonymity has an immense spiritual significance. It reminds us that we are to place principles before personalities; that we are actually to practice a genuine humility. This to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us; that we shall forever live in thankful contemplation of Him who presides over us all.

there have been times i didn't want the people i was associated with to know my AA status. and then there were times and places, i made sure it was known. the choice is mine. as long as it follows the guidelines for living that the steps and tradition have given us.

DID YOU KNOW THAT POSTING YOUR FULL NAME AND IDENTIFYING INFORMATION IN CONNECTION TO AA ON THE INTERNET VIOLATES TRADITIONS?

7. Q. What about anonymity?

A. We observe all A.A.'s principles and Traditions on our web sites. As anonymity is the "spiritual foundation of all our Traditions," we practice anonymity on A.A. web sites at all times. An A.A. web site is a public medium which has the potential for reaching the broadest possible audience and, therefore, requires the same safeguards that we use at the level of press, radio and film.

AA.org

the main ideation behind anonymity is the prevention of someone becoming the poster child for AA. if that person slips, it gives all of AA a black eye, whether it is at the level of your town's gossip or CNN or on the cover of the rolling stone (you are supposed to laugh at the connection to the song).

lastly, principles over personalities... work the steps (esp step 10) keep your side of the street clean... length of time sober does not mean more healthy.. just that they stuck the plug in the jug sooner than you. don't take yourself or your life so seriously, you aint getting out alive!

now, go back to lurking.

[jlo34]

Thanks Mew. I was getting ready to add the traditions in here too. Anonimity is important enough that it is mentioned/a part of 2 traditions.

Also, during our Big Book study a couple of weeks ago...I stumbled across the following:

p. 125
"We families of Alcoholics Anonymous keep few skeletons in the closet. Everyone knows about the others' alcoholic troubles. This is a condition which, in ordinary life, would produce untold grief; there might be scandalous gossip, laughter at the expense of other people, and a tendency to take advantage of intimate information. Among us, these are rare occurrences. We do talk about each other a great deal, but we almost invariably temper such talk by a spirit of love and tolerance."

Jen

[Dan]

Just for me.

I really don't care if you reveal, inadvertently, that I am an alcoholic, or that I am a member of AA. Even if you do it with something like malicious intent, I really have no control over that, and therefore, have no real basis to get upset and frustrated about it.

I do know that should I ever break your anonymity, it would be a spiritual blow to me. Because I've seen members in real emotional pain as a result of being indiscreet.
And I imagine my reaction would be the same.

Originally Posted by Bill W.

“If I were asked which of these blessings I felt was most responsible for our growth as a fellowship and most vital to our continuity, I would say, the ‘Concept of Anonymity.’...A.A. must and will continue to change with the passing years. We cannot, nor should we, turn back the clock. However, I deeply believe that the principle of anonymity must remain our primary and enduring safeguard. As long as we accept our sobriety in our traditional spirit of anonymity we will continue to receive God’s grace.�

Last message to the fellowship in October 1970.

[BikerBill8]

Good one Dan. Like Bill W. said AA must change and grow with the times and to turn back the clock. Be Cool. BikerBill8

[llenroc66]

I am fairly new to this community and actively seeking help. Even after I knew I had a serious problem I didn't want to accept the label of "alcoholic". I was worried more about what others would think. (Yes, I'm learning to trust that it is no business of mine what others think of me.)

I hope that someday I won't care if anyone/everyone knows that I'm an alcoholic and go to AA. Knowing that whatever I say and whomever sees me at a meeting really made it easier to go to the first meetings and to finally share more than just my name.

Maybe my desire to remain anonymous will go away but it is helping me take a few steps in the beginning.

[CAPTAINZING2000]

The lady I mentioned most likely didn't mean me any harm. She's getting to be in her 70's I hop, she just wasn't thinking when, she brought my name up.

Someone wants to give out my name to someone trying to find a meeting for a ride etc. I don't mind going to pick someone up, talk to someone about AA etc.

Some of the people have missed the point on here. It's an Anonymous program. The one reading that sticks out in my mind every meeting is the reminder of anonymity. No person member or guest may reveal the name of any one in attendence without his or her expressed permission.

If we as a group can't come close to keeping this trust we'll wither and die on the grape vine