"No big decisions in the first year"..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2014
Posts: 2,966
"No big decisions in the first year"..
I'm almost 4 months sober,newly single and am bored.. I own a few companies/shops around the city but, i'm bored to death! I thought about working abroad for a year just to try something new? My income would be the same ,here in the states, while i'm gone. I wouldn't be going for the money...more the experience.. Thoughts?
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
says who?
some big decisions usually need to get made.
the ones that we volunteer for it seems like a good idea to search our motives for doing....to get insight on whether possibly we're doing things such as, oh, running away from something, avoiding....any number of things.
in your situation, that might look like sitting with the feeling of boredom and seeing what more this might be about? why such need for outside stimulation and excitement? those are some questions i'd ask myself in your situation.
some big decisions usually need to get made.
the ones that we volunteer for it seems like a good idea to search our motives for doing....to get insight on whether possibly we're doing things such as, oh, running away from something, avoiding....any number of things.
in your situation, that might look like sitting with the feeling of boredom and seeing what more this might be about? why such need for outside stimulation and excitement? those are some questions i'd ask myself in your situation.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Great job on almost four months! That's awesome- and still new.
I know that I needed to make some "big" decisions- like asking for my old job at a restaurant back due to needing to make enough money to support myself, right away (after a few months at a job that was stable, not around alcohol, and low paying)- and I entered into a relationship that will lead to marriage (too long a story there for here, lets just say I spent time and prayer and work with my sponsor on both of these decisions).
My understanding is that the BB does not tell us about the first year "rule" - it is common AA "lore" and advice. Personally, I think it depends on the individual and how strong a sobriety program you are working.
Taking on more than I can handle is a major factor for me- I am doing fantastic here at 13 months sober and while I know- just as an example- I don't want to be a server forever, right now I am content in a very supportive environment making enough to take care of myself.
Motive - escapism? not a good one; good move forward in life? good one - is important to me, as is sticking close to my program for guidance.
Good luck.
I know that I needed to make some "big" decisions- like asking for my old job at a restaurant back due to needing to make enough money to support myself, right away (after a few months at a job that was stable, not around alcohol, and low paying)- and I entered into a relationship that will lead to marriage (too long a story there for here, lets just say I spent time and prayer and work with my sponsor on both of these decisions).
My understanding is that the BB does not tell us about the first year "rule" - it is common AA "lore" and advice. Personally, I think it depends on the individual and how strong a sobriety program you are working.
Taking on more than I can handle is a major factor for me- I am doing fantastic here at 13 months sober and while I know- just as an example- I don't want to be a server forever, right now I am content in a very supportive environment making enough to take care of myself.
Motive - escapism? not a good one; good move forward in life? good one - is important to me, as is sticking close to my program for guidance.
Good luck.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Well, if you have got along far enough to have all or most of your amends made, and you are looking for new experience rather than running away from old experience, I would say why not? Life is short, sometimes shorter than you think. If there is something you really want to do, go and do it by all means. My life is like that. I am having a ball.
And there is plenty of AA scattered around the world and it tends to be interesting because the faces change a lot as people continue their travels. And where there is no AA, the God of my understanding, and sharing on SR, keep me on track. I don't see anything wrong with a little adventure.
And there is plenty of AA scattered around the world and it tends to be interesting because the faces change a lot as people continue their travels. And where there is no AA, the God of my understanding, and sharing on SR, keep me on track. I don't see anything wrong with a little adventure.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
My decision-maker was defective. I was told that the "first year" advice was a good starting point, but that until one is through taking the steps was more accurate.
I made no major decisions until I had the steps under my belt.
OF COURSE I would start chemo if diagnosed with cancer or buy another house if mine burned down, so some decisions would be required had they happened.
Also, making small decisions is good practice of practicing my new principles in all my affairs...so there's that. But I didn't make the large ones until I had a firm footing in sobriety.
For me, sobriety is #1. Decisions about work, marriage, etc. could definitely wait until I was ready to make them.
mfanch
I made no major decisions until I had the steps under my belt.
OF COURSE I would start chemo if diagnosed with cancer or buy another house if mine burned down, so some decisions would be required had they happened.
Also, making small decisions is good practice of practicing my new principles in all my affairs...so there's that. But I didn't make the large ones until I had a firm footing in sobriety.
For me, sobriety is #1. Decisions about work, marriage, etc. could definitely wait until I was ready to make them.
mfanch
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Thoughts?
first thought is where youre at in the steps and whats the true motive for the decision.
second thought is think it over for a month.
what happens if after a couple months ya get bored in another country?
ya own a few companies and just gonna leave your employees hanging? would a responsible business owner just take off because they are bored? imo, that's not being a responsible member of society- more selfish and self centered.
wherever you go, there you are.
first thought is where youre at in the steps and whats the true motive for the decision.
second thought is think it over for a month.
what happens if after a couple months ya get bored in another country?
ya own a few companies and just gonna leave your employees hanging? would a responsible business owner just take off because they are bored? imo, that's not being a responsible member of society- more selfish and self centered.
wherever you go, there you are.
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