dsmaxis10

I had to give up my rights My right to be angry My right to be right My right to think I'm better then anybody else from my Mason buddy Dave K . I'm 38 had my first beer when I was six drank alcoholically since 12 two beers six years apart and I was hooked. I walked into my first AA meeting soulless but I found my soul 8/04/2009. If you give birth to that that is within it will save you if you leave it absent it will destroy you. Why did my first sponsor taught me to hate the fellowship really damaged me. Day seven Don F is helping me he has little time his life so big. But he gave me just what I needed he spent time with me I'm not craving alcohol I'm craving life. Every meeting a good meeting there's no ruler dictator it's an anarchy of God Humble Servants that's what I want to be a Humble Servant of God my conception. Everybody that walks threw that door is a Miracle.

Dave42001

Good stuff, thanks for sharing! Every meeting is a good meeting!!

dsmaxis10

Thought I lost the obsession to drink I was wrong I'm recovering I was craving real bad I made it threw I called people I prayed I posted on SR . I'm going to a meeting.

SoberCAH

You are doing the work it took me to get and stay sober.

I am glad you are praying hard and going to meetings.

I still do so myself, because it has always worked for me, notwithstanding quite a few scary cravings during early sobriety.

PhoenixJ

dsmaxis10

I love the readings before the meetings I need to hear them everyday. I love the unity. Life will mean something at last never had that one before. I love AA I never want to think I got this and to always remain teachable.

dsmaxis10

Three meetings yesterday and they were all great!!!

aasharon90

If you'd like to share what you heard at
your meetings with us that would be great
and id surely appreciate it.

Sometimes talking about it with other
members then you can get a better understanding
of it or read something here that you may
have missed at the meeting or it didn't register
at that moment or made sense.

Once you leave a meeting doesnt mean
you are through with AA for the day. We
take what we hear or learn in those meetings
and bring them home or work or where
ever you are and use or incorporate all
those important lesson on a daily bases.

Before you know it, your recovery program
will appear in your dreams with you avoiding
alcohol, helping others and waking up absolutely
amazed at how AA is working for you.

Saturate your heart mind and soul with
your recovery program and become the
best person you possibly can be in life.

dsmaxis10

I'll tell ya exactly what I heard step two twice out of the three meetings I went to yesterday. I'll talk about the last meeting I was a fighter I never lost over 20 fights I'm not bragging now I have fibromyalgia so bad I can't even workout. So I'm sitting with some that was a professional kickboxing who in my prime make me cry like a baby and another guy with fist made of stone. But they shared from there heart because I was the first to share after the table leader kickboxer. I was honest I had only ten days and had 3.5 years before but life didn't mean something at last and how I left a meeting ten days ago and cried realizing I never have to drink again if I do the simple program. So I did step to it worked for them it will work for me and I will not fail if I go about it with half the seal I did when drinking. So this morning at 6:28 am I prayed on my knees for 13 min which seemed like 30 seconds and turned my life and will over to my conception of God. I do feel Reborn day 11 11 years of AA to really turn it over now to get down to causes and conditions,grouphug:

aasharon90

"I never have to drink again if I do the simple program."

Thank you dsmaxis10 for sharing your meeting
with us. After reading what you wrote, I picked
out the above quote that caught my attention.

We as alcoholics in recovery can definitely
make a mountain out of a mole hill. Or we can
complicate most anything when really we don't
have to. Even with a recovery program.

Keep It Simple is one of many phrases heard
in meetings and I have each one of them hanging
in a frame above my tv as a reminder thru out
the day of what's important in helping me remain
sober.

Going to meetings is sooooo simple. One hour
if needed each day. I mean how difficult can that
be? I reminded myself that if I took time to drive
to get my poison several times a week and drank
as much as I did each day, then I can surely drive
my butt to a meeting and sit for an hour listening,
learning, absorbing and applying a simple program
of recovery to my everyday affairs. Right.?

Come here often and share what you've learned
from each meeting, or what has inspired you to
remain sober that day.

Find balance in work, recovery, family and play
and keep the Faith for It will never steer you wrong.

Good Job...!!!!!

dsmaxis10

Did morning prayers on my knees. Off to a meeting at 7:00 am life will mean something at last I got a promise I'm so excited which is dangerous what I really am is fortunate.

SoberCAH

I'm encouraged to see you clinging to the AA program, ds.

Keep it up and set an example for all of us.

dsmaxis10

Day 3 turning my life and will over and the Miracle happened this morning. After 11 years thousands of meetings not psychosis not mania a stabilized paranoid schizophrenic had a Spiritual Awakening!!! I love AA program day 13 sober my pick struck GOLD and I'm gonna mine it for the rest off my life!!! I've made all my amends except to GOD my Mother and myself I'm debt free I've got good credit owe I get excited before I go to meetings and I love hearing the readings every time I go because I have a self forgetter brain can't wait to 7:00 am meeting I love those guys I love everybody in AA!!!

dsmaxis10

Just doing what Layla N said following literal directions I want to eat a God Cake Ca got a stronger message then AA does.

dsmaxis10

No the big book is the message!!! Day three doing step three for real now to get down to more causes and conditions.

dsmaxis10

Having the fourth step written I shared my fifth step I reflected for an hour knowing my character defects I did six and seven now onto step nine it's been a long day. I was petrified in fear that only a paranoid schizophrenic alcoholic would know. A step in Schizophrenia Anonymous is freely forgive anyone or anything that harmed me for the alcoholic it's a must. I haven't perfected forgiving but doing step five asking God for forgiveness of my sins I'm not practicing religion Bill W ruthlessly faced his sins so I'm doing that. The Father of Light God as the 100 recovered alcoholics understood him I turned my life and will over. This is 11 years of AA and the promises are coming True in my life. Like Layla N says literal directions I've been rocketed into 4 d. Living amends paralizing my mom in fear alcoholic dad alcoholic brother sex addict sister. Ya see there's no one on earth I love no one more then my mother there's no one on earth I harmed more then my mother. She love's me but can I ever forgive myself I must forgive those that harmed me or I'll drink again and die.

dsmaxis10

day 15 lost obsession to drink I'm a freeman day after making final amends which took me 12 years that was day 13 lost it day 14 no exact moment. Three meetings today got a home group service position looking for more service positions I want to get well 12th step promises we get well!!!

dsmaxis10

Day 16 recovering making amends as quick as possible

dsmaxis10

And they will be finished by the end of the day. Then I'll relax and take it easy. 12 years of recovery to do this I want to be restored to sanity!!! Whats the point GREAT point I'm so excited life will mean something at last!!!

dsmaxis10

She was up I made the amends I lost the obsession to drink day 14, Today day 16 I know the exact moment I've had a psychic change the moment I made my last amends. As Boleo says you can recover from a gunshot wound and get shot again!!! You have to serve others!!! There's no arrival the Spiritual path gets narrower not wider Boleo was right. Those with grave emotional mental disorders do recover if they have the capacity to be honest I have paranoid schizophrenia and I take psychotropics like people use psychotropics at meetings coffee and nicotine. I know I take mood and mind altering drugs like Bill Wilson took acid I have a right to AA recovery why am I harassed by play doctors. I had to get honest with who myself not someone me and God and Spiritual advisers.