Centered3

Page 85 Step 11 says that the problem has been removed. I thought that the problem being removed meant that my thinking would be fixed. I thought it meant I'd never want to drink or reach for other things/do other addictive behaviors again, once I had a spiritual awakening.

I just had some stuff happen in my life recently that led me to have a very strong desire to get drunk over them, to be able to 1)feel my feelings and let them all out in a drinking haze of inhibition, yet also 2)escape/run away from the feelings and the pain.

I thought that meant there was something wrong with my recovery. Wasn't the problem supposed to have been removed? Why was I still having strong thoughts of drinking?

Thankfully, my sponsor said something along these lines to me:

The problem has been removed. (Which happens to be her favorite line in the big book). You didn't drink. We all still may have thoughts of drinking, but we don't act on them. I often have thoughts, "wouldn't it be nice to have a glass of wine and relax." but I don't even have to fight those thoughts or temptations because I have a new way of dealing with those thoughts.

I can see my thoughts now as separate from me. (Stevie and a few others, I know you know what I mean). I can have the thoughts and see them, instead of instinctively acting on them without any time for pausing. (Just one of many miracles of my step work for me).

I can have the thoughts, and do something else instead of feeding into them or reacting to them.

I can have the thoughts, and not have a tremendous amount of anxiety because I am trying to run away from them.

I had the thoughts, and I knew they weren't God-thoughts, or His will. I was able to turn my thoughts back to God and try to direct my attention to what He would want me to be. He does not want me to hurt myself with alcohol or anything else for that matter.

The God of my understanding (my personal conception of God/my higher power) wants me to know He is there with me to give me strength, love, care, and protection, no matter what. He is not punishing me or making me hurt on purpose, even if maybe there's a lesson in these life experiences that He is trying to lovingly teach me. He's got a gentle hand on my shoulder and is guiding me through the pain and discomfort. I am not alone.

The problem that's been removed is that I am no longer reacting to life the way I used to. My thinking may still not be perfect, but I don't feed into it, or react because of it.

I didn't drink over it and I caught the thoughts.

Here's something else I realized, too. Page 84 says "when" our character defects/thinking/old reactions to life crop back up. It doesn't say "if": Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them.

I am grateful I finally see this. "The problem" was that I was using the wrong solution to my thinking all along. My "solution" (drinking, etc) had become my problem.

August252015

Thank you for this. All of what you said.

I echo it, and also venture something I am specifically working on that I believe is attacking "The problem." Asking for help, looking for the God-solution directly, and also seeing what is His manifestation of "solution" - ex, I hit 90 days on Sun (yay!) and was shocked that that day was the first one I wanted to drink to celebrate. Hello, sneaky little monster! And, I have acknowledged that I am notoriously bad at asking for help. And, I was only able to do it indirectly: I was coming back from a beach visit with my Dad, and instead of asking outright for him to stay with me that night, or have dinner and a meeting so I wouldn't go drink, I hinted at feeling "restless," and down...and thank GOD he knew what I was asking for (this ain't anyone's first rodeo in my family) and volunteered to do these things. Then I realized - this was me asking for help! And taking it! What a big deal and step for me. And, God provided that day's solution. Just thinking about this makes me feel my recovery in action.

Thanks for the post!

dox

My sponsor sometimes says that alcohol was his higher power.
Then he was his own higher power.
Now, he has a Real Higher Power.

When we turn away from the limited, albeit potent, power of alcohol in favour of the limitless power that many of us call: God, the problem is removed . . .

conditionally.

August252015

"conditionally" - meaning?

NoelleR

...so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

(o:

P.S. ...that's page 85.!

dox

I'm not sure of the exact wording of the Big Book or where you would find it.
But, I believe that it is necessary to maintain a fit spiritual condition.

Does that make sense?

Sorry I may not be as clear as I can be.
I am tapping this in on my phone as my computer has decided not to communicate for a while.

Tommyh

Save for a few brief moments of temptation the thought of drink has never returned; chapter 4 first ed first printing

I have learned there is a thing called temptation which isn`t the obsession but it can lead to a drink if I romance the idea of a drink.
Then,as you say,a drink would be my solution to my life`s problems.

question for anyone
Even so ,has God restored us all to our right minds. (chapter 4 first ed first printing)
ok,what would it look like if we was restored to our right minds?
In our minds,how do we see this phrase "right minds"?
Would it be we never have a thought of a drink or a occasional temptation?
something else?

have a good sober day everyone

stevieg46

Page 84 says '' And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone -- even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned '' we will seldom be tempted .

Ceased fighting ''anything or anyone '' circumstances and peoples actions/words etc'' are all outside of us , we have no say in them if we have complete trust and faith in HP and continue to hand everything over every waking moment ='' thy will be done'' we are walking in the land of the spirit , new way of life , take care.

Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006 words are easy music is a lot harder

NoelleR

...also, the exact same quote is on page 97 of the first edition.

(o:

Grungehead

Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Edition pp. 84-85

Also notice in the 10th step promises it says we will seldom be interested in liquor, and if tempted we will recoil from it. This tells me that thoughts of drinking may happen occasionally, but if I am in fit spiritual condition I will dismiss (recoil from) these thoughts outright.

Centered3

[QUOTE=August252015;5971451][QUOTE]
Sounds like you're working an excellent solution. :-)

Congrats on 90 days! From reading your posts, I would not have guessed you were a newbie.

From what I've experienced, that little monster called EGO never dies and we have to keep working to keep it small.

That is great progress! :-) It's hard for me to ask for things directly, too, but it sure does simplify things when I do.

Centered3

Love this, yes!!

YES thank you for explaining further below what you meant. I completely agree and it shows where I need to work my daily spiritual fitness more efficiently. :-)

Centered3

Thanks, Tommy. I guess it means we are restored to "right" minds but not "perfect" minds. And when my mind is not "right", I need to ask "Where is God?" and be honest with myself about living in 10, 11, and 12.

Centered3

This made me wonder, are all of us alcoholics/addicts co-dependent?

Centered3

Thanks, Grungehead. You explained this perfectly!!!

stevieg46

Possibly , but what it means to me is not to be dependent on ''anyone '' reason being I was always looking for something outside of me to ''fix me '' alcohol made ''me ''feel good , I looked to doctors to fix me because I ''Me'' did not feel good , same with psychiatrists , and men of the cloth , I went there for them to fix me because I did not feel good , then I later on tried to manipulate /bully or intimidate others by being a control freak tried to design circumstances to make me feel good , which all leads to ''self =me '' now in order to feel good I have firstly got to ''be good '' having the feeling inside is to ''have '' which is to ''be '' so ''be'' and ''have '' is to ''behave '' or to do it not just say it '' playing with words is also fun and stops me from from being too damn serious , take care .

Regards Stevie recovered 12 03 2006

tomsteve

pretty wild how just after that the bb tells us if we let up on the maintenence of our spiritual condition and rest on our laurels that were headed for trouble.
i proved it true for me. went to meetings and that was it(this was about 3 years into recovery)- pretty much threw the rest of the program out, which i didnt realize until one day i said," f-it. im gettin drunk."
and my hp had me take a shower before heading to the store, which is where i saw i had been workin on that thought for a few months and the insanity of it all.
stark raving sober.

paulokes

It's interesting to note that the 12 and 12, appearing later than the Big Book, goes into much more detail about our struggles with human relationships. Even in the Big Book we're told we'll come to see how "the world and it's people really dominated us".

Fun fact:
Melody Beattie, who wrote the seminal "Codependant No More" was drawn to Al Anon by the pain of sponsoring people in AA, or so she says

P

Centered3

Thanks Stevie, very well said. I too was always looking for someone on the outside to "fix me" (I've even said those exact words to therapists before). I know now I need to just be dependent on God and that's it.

I never believed that the answer was within.

Centered3

Yup that's an important warning. Wish it was in bold and in large font.
It's still a daily reprieve for me.

Same here. I was on some sort of pink cloud just from attending meetings and not working the steps and then I relapsed.

That's beautiful. I'm always in awe of those who become "stark raving sober".

Your HP sure gave you a beautiful "pause" there. I love those moments when we're able to see our thoughts. I think that's been one of my favorite parts of my recovery program.