Starting a fourth step

[MegH33]

Today I have 56 days of sobriety. Well at least 56 days dry, and about 30 or so really feeling OK. I found AA in my little city to be a close knit group of really caring people. I drank way a great job, but found a pretty good job that works better with my life. So few of us get a second chance, not just for recovery, but professionally. I am so grateful.

I am preparing to do my fourth step. My sponsor says first list all resentments. Any ideas or advise?

[Chy]

I think that is the hardest one we do. I really procrastinated on it, because I didn't know how to begin, or where to start. Your sponsor say's to make a list, then make a list. I had worked my thinking up to the point that one day I sat down and wrote for 6 hours straight, I did pray the Serenity Prayer and ask for help, and was mentally exhausted, cried, but felt such a huge weight lift when I was done. I've been saying this a lot today, just do it!

[MegH33]

NOt a bad plan. I think I'll follow the directions. Thanks Chy.

Good night everyone!!

Meg

[3legacy]

(((((((MegH :35: )))))))
Sure, I would suggest doing the Third Step Prayer out of the Big Book with your Sponsor if you have not already. Then put the pen to paper and leave the first column up to God flowing through you. The questions and format in the Big Book were the best format I have personally found. Keep up the trudge, it is so well worth the efforts.

Three Legs
:tri

[splendra]

My sponcer had me make a list of all the people I had ever been angry with and why. Then she had me get a phone list from our meeting and call every single name on the list and tell each one that I was working my 4th step...... calling the list was very interesting....

[MootPoint]

Meg...... gread advice ahead of me!

I was lucky.... once I started on my 4th, it wrote itself, the words not getting out fast enough.

Congrats on your 56 days! Don't short yourself..... you earned those 56 days

[collinsmi]

My sponsor had me write out a prayer first, for every page. I had a lot of trouble with the 4th step. I really drug mine out. A lot of times I felt I was forcing it, or felt confused. These feelings almost always were followed by a long stretch of 4th step inactivity! My sponsor finally gave me a deadline..... I think the best thing is to keep writing, no matter what. I think I learned more about myself from the 4th step than any of the others, but that's not the best part. The fifth step (well, actually just after) was such a relief, it was almost surreal! It's an experience you don't want to delay.

[Timebuster]

Hi Meg... Congrats on your 56 days.

Get a 4th step work sheet, it help me tremendously.

God Bless
Timebuster

[MegH33]

I sat myself down and began making a list of resentments. I actually thought, since I was so easy going that I didn't have any. I followed the BB guide, and I was pretty surprised that my list kept growing.

I wrote it down, even if it sounded silly when said out loud. I was beginning to see where this process can bring out character defects--that when out in the open can be processed. Issues of self esteem and jealousy and self esteem kept coming up. I started to see how my grudges caused problems to other people, and where some amends are in order. Any way--I always thought the fourth step was a listing of all the crappy things I've done. Now I look forward to working on it more, and getting my self in order. I plan on a fifth step with my priest. (<----huge deal for me)

You guys have what I want, so I'm going to follow the directions. I am beginning to develop a relationship with my Higher Power, dare I say trust. I truly enjoy the peace it is bringing me.

PS--meeting with my sponsor tomorrow to make sure I am firm on Steps 1,2,3.

Meg
One day at a time

[Gutterdrunk]

We all work our steps a bit differently, but we have the same goal. To come to terms with our past, and to be able to embrace the future, living sober, one day at a time.

A wise alcoholic told me the only wrong way to work the steps, is to not work them, or stop working them.

When I did my forth step, I had a hard time coming to grips with a lot that was being revealed. At the time I was suffering from crippling anxiety attacts and so much fear, so much. So I did it a little at a time. Some times I could only write for a few minutes at a time. But I kept trudging along, however slowly. Because for me, if I stop going forward, I will start to slip back. And that is not an option.

The good news is, that as a result of working all of the steps, I have had that spirtual awakening, which has surpased my wildest dreams.

I no longer have anxiety attacks, and a few months ago, I got off of the medication that I was on for 3 years.

And now, I understand the meaning of the word "serenity"

[collinsmi]

You remind me of me, Meg! I started out with a grudge list, just names, like the kid who picked on me in 9th grade, my ex-wife, my sponsor, my parents, God, the IRS, the phone company, etc. I'd think of someone, then think "I don't really have a resentment against this person (that dirty so-and-so), then realize I'd have to put them down! Try not to worry about amends at this point, you're liable to get sidetracked! But have fun, and keep writing!

[NoMoBeer]

...getting ready to start my Fourth step. I have been procrastinating, but now I know I need to get busy tonight.

Thanks for your post.

Ken