PAC86

It seems to be the cause of a lot of drama. I hate the fact that it's difficult to convey emotion via posted text which seems to lead to people misinterpreting the meaning of my comments. I'll post something and people will completely misinterpret the point I was trying to make. Despite this resentment I can not abstain from social media and chat forums as I seem to suffer from a mild addiction to them. It's a vicious cycle. I am sure someone is going to misinterpret this post and make a comment that I view as being critical and unproductive. However, I may just be misinterpreting their post as being critical when it really wasn't meant to be. It all started when I joined this hunting chat forum when I was 21. I've gotten kicked off a dozen times and had to change my screen name just as many times.

Austin4Wyo

Well...

(*busts out the cowboy drawl*)

I tend to find it helpful to remind myself that if'n I have a problem with something, I'm generally part of it. I hear that in AA/recovery circles frequently, but I heard it long before as simple cowpoke wisdom from an old-timer back in Wyoming.

Certainly, a lot gets lost via writing. Most of our communication is non-verbal, at least historically.

I'm curious, though...are you, potentially, doing anything to contribute to the drama you are experiencing? I used to moderate at a couple of forums, one of which was pretty rowdy. Our rules stayed the same, and repeat offenders were rare when they realized that we enforced the rules. Repeatedly being on the wrong side of those rules meant you got to take a permanent timeout. We IP banned, including batch IP blocks due to America (Ha!) Online's dynamic IP setup, so people registering under new credentials were rare unless they took the time to proxy in.

A big part of my recovery is owning my part. A big part of working through my resentments with my recovery coach and my therapist is recognizing my part. I hope you can be honest and do the same.

Gottalife

Good points Pac86. This forum also has people posting from many parts ot the world which brings in slight differences in the way we use language. I try to be careful in what I write, but sometimes I am so careful that my original meaning is completely lost to some, and they take a completely different meaning from it. And it can be easy to read in emotion that isnt there. I guess it is just part of the cyber world, something we have to accept.

fini

PAC,
misunderstandings happen to me, too: my stuff is misunderstood and i misunderstand others' posts.
used to bug me a lot when i first joined forums.
later, i decided to use it as "learning to let go" opportunities....something about not being so "dominated by the world and its people".
hm, yeah.
i do intensely dislike being misunderstood.

Fly N Buy

hmmm, what do you mean by cowboy drawl? Is this like deep south post civil war movie, like damn yankee raider drawl? Or is it Jimmy Stewart Winchester 73 ease???? !!?! Maybe that's no drawl at all!?

Perhaps it's Texas Alamo Sam Houston drawl - or ya know, I think maybe this is the default - a cross between Walter Brennan and Slim Pickens!!!

Tommyh

AA has a solution to resentment,it works quite well when I apply it

Austin4Wyo

Sam Elliott happens to be my favorite.

greens

I think it's pretty common. That's why people take breaks every once in a while. You'll know when the time is right. I also hate how things get lost in translation.

NestWasEmpty

In my opinion - If you don't know a persons whole life's story , you try to help best you can . When you only get part , it's pretty hard to know what they've been through , but providing encouragement - Is worth 1000 words !!

tomsteve

When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.


Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember
that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expec-
tations. The higher my expectations of other
people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my
serenity level rise when I discard my expectations.
But then my “rights” try to move in, and they too can
force my serenity level down. I have to discard my
“rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself,
How important is it, really? How important is it com-
pared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety? And
when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety
than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher
level—at least for the time being.
Acceptance is the key to my relationship with God
today. I never just sit and do nothing while waiting
for Him to tell me what to do. Rather, I do whatever
is in front of me to be done, and I leave the results up
to Him; however it turns out, that’s God’s will for me.
I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my ac-
ceptance and off my expectations, for my serenity is
directly proportional to my level of acceptance. When
I remember this, I can see I’ve never had it so good.

start reading the bb pg 64 and do what it says if ya want to be free of resentment.
and start at step one onyour mild addiction.

WMJ1012

A lot of us have problems with what's said to us on the internet . It's because we're sensitive.

Humans are funny sometimes. What they will sometimes say behind the safety of a computer would never dare be said in person. A dark side can come out.

And yes there can be a lot of manipulation and control.

Per the Acceptance reading, I found that this was a great way for me to practice not reacting. Sometimes silence is golden. It can produce a huge explosion of Power within us when we do it!

I used to be on a different recovery website and the cliques etc were so funny! I used to lose sleep over the way i was treated but now when I return every once in a while, I run circles around people

Thank you recovery!