Ken33xx

If I understand correct you wanted someone to listen when the urge to use came about. No going on about the 1st step or the BB. Just listen.

And what I`m saying is in my experiences there are many in AA willing to do that.

miamifella

I am sorry. This is just something that cannot be resolved or improved. I understand that you are in the program, and it is unreasonable to expect that people in the program behave in ways that are against your beliefs.

I did it myself when I was in the program, so I get why you and others need to say the things you do. We cannot control what others say, we can only control how much weight we give what others say.

Ken33xx

Yet, members do it all the time if certain aspects of the program don`t agree with them.

Take what you want and leave the rest is a common slogan


Nothing wrong with that.

miamifella

Are you in the program yourself? I am confused about that.

From this post, I get the feeling you are not. This is basically how the first steps go.

In AA, the first step says that we admit that we are powerless over addiction/alcohol. We cannot control our own or anyone else's addiction. They cannot control ours.

The goal of the program is connect one with a higher power. Doing the first step, you give up on the idea of getting help from any other person so that you can accept the aid of a higher power (in steps 2 and 3). Basically, in step one you empty the cup of false hopes, so that it can be filled by acceptance of a higher power's aid.

To have listened to me would have been like saying they had power over my addiction and would have kept me from developing a relationship with my higher power. This would have negated their first step and gone against the passage that started this thread that said probably no human aid can control our drinking.

Usually, in the situation I described you are supposed to tell the person asking for help to pray or do step work .You need to protect your own sobriety and the ego that tells you you can rescue someone can ruin your sobriety.

I hope this is clear.

Ken33xx

I`ve been in the program a number of years and fairly certainly many would agree when someone calls with an urge to use or drink just listening to what they have to say is often best. There are no set rules.

miamifella

I am glad that people in the program are relaxing about helping people...though I still do not understand how you can do that when it pretty clearly goes against the first step.

But SR is full of people who feel that way about human aid. I cannot say I ever met anyone from AA in real life who would agree. (And I was in the program for nearly 8 years.)

Thank you for taking the time with me.

Ken33xx

I don`t feel I am. What I and I`m sure many others in AA do is just listen when helping a member who has an urge pick up. That`s often all they want. Just someone to hear them out.

I don`t find anything unusual in this approach.

Ken33xx

Good exchange.

mick3580

I will private message regarding this.