Tommyh

the sharing in the meetings are based on the ESH with the solution.
We encourage visitors to ask questions and spend time with us before and after the meeting discussing the program and group.Our small group is fairly new,and if you have completed the step we are studying ,not all the steps,then you have quite a bit to share and we encourage you to share your esh.Thats the only difference between us and the others.We don`t have rules,we have suggestions.The groups are free to live the 4th tradition as they see fit.We do, just like everyone else does.The structure of the meeting and the way everyone does the steps provide a mostly problem free group.We don`t have most problems the usual AA groups have.
Quite a few Overeaters Anonymous and All Addictions Anonymous groups have adopted the Hynasis format.It is spreading in AA and outside of AA because a lot of people want something better than what they presently have.

Lily

A while back I was involved in a Hyannis meeting format by telephone conducted by a lady named Stephanie. She was a recovered alcoholic and food addict. Looks like she still has the meetings going.

All Addictions Big Book Step Study Workshop She is awesome btw...

mick3580

While I have a ton of respect for this format, people who do the steps this way are not the only ones who can claim they are doing the steps exactly as laid out in the big book. Primary Purpose groups do as well and chapter 2 groups and numerous others.

DayTrader

Fwiw, I've yet to meet aaaaanyone who practices the all the principles in all the steps in all areas of their life. I do get a nice chuckle every time I hear someone before/during/after a meeting say they do. (and yup, I used to be one of those folks).

LiveInPeace

I'm not sure I understand your point. My experience has been the other 12 step meetings I attended were more group-therapy type meetings that did nothing to help me get well and kept me in ego.

Hyannis doesn't enforce rules. They just have guidelines so the meetings stay structured and on point. All of the sponsors are happy to answer my questions.

AA meetings started out by following the big book. In fact, Alcoholics Anonymous got their name for their meetings from the big book, Alcoholics Anonymous. The name of the book came before the name of the meeting. So if Hyannis follows the book Alcoholics Anonymous, why should their meetings be separate from Alcoholics Anonymous?

I don't know any of the founders, and personally I don't care who they are. What was your point to even bring it up? To me, they are just another person who followed the same solution to alcoholism that I am following.

LiveInPeace

Let me just say this: I like to talk. A lot. I've spent my entire life talking. I never shut up. When I stepped into BBSS Hyannis, I finally shut up. I finally listened and took direction from people who are recovered and well. I've been going to BBSS Hyannis weekly for a number of years and I still don't share/comment because I've let fear get in the way of finishing my step work and I'm not done yet.

Sometimes I read a couple of paragraphs on the step of the week if it's my turn to read. I get a lot out listening to the speaker's share and the other sponsors' shares and comments. I'm ok with not sharing or commenting because I am finally getting well. And my alcoholism was hopeless.

LiveInPeace

Again I didn't mean for that to sound arrogant but I know it may have come out that way. My point was, I didn't get well going to meetings and working the steps until I did it this way, and I just wanted to connect with others here that did the steps this way.

Thank you for letting me know about Primary Purpose and Chapter 2 groups. I have never heard of them before.

LiveInPeace

Thank you, Lily! I love to see that it's an all-addictions Hyannis format, since our D/BOC is just our "solution" for our alcoholism until we find the God solution.

That being said, I respect those who still like to keep meetings closed to speak about their experience with their personal D/BOC, but I hope someday more meetings become all-addictions. We are all the same. We all suffer from the same -ism. We all follow the same solution to recover.

LiveInPeace

Thank you, Tommyh, that was so well said.

IOAA2

Hi.
Your feeling about being group therapy meetings that did nothing for you is yours to have. They helped millions the old fashioned way previous to HBBSS being formed.
You’re correct about the BB being followed since early days, if it works why fix it? OK we are alcoholics and find it hard to KISS.

You call them “guidelines” I call them rules, why have a guideline making sure a person has done the step the HBBSS way. I and many with many years sobriety and having years of experience doing the steps can’t participate.

35 years ago I participated in AWOL, a non AA approved way of doing the steps because of it having rules to this day very successful. One rule was if you drank you’re out, if 2 meetings are missed in a row you’re out and it had a small fee to cover the dinner at the end. We all had chances to speak about the step being worked on. Many fine people have attended since its inception.
I’m from the Hyannis area and many people have a negative feeling about the HBBSS meetings.
If it has helped you great, that’s the goal.

BE WELL

LiveInPeace

Originally Posted by IOAA2.

I'm not sure why this thread has turned into a discussion about the methods to work the steps. I was merely reaching out and looking for others who shared a common way of solving their alcoholism. That was all.

No where in the big book of alcoholics anonymous did the first 100 who recovered say that the solution to their problem was to just don't drink and go to meetings where people vent and turn the room into one big sounding board. It didn't work for me, it made me feel worse, and I don't see it working for others. I wasted enough time and other people's time living in my problems and venting to friends, family, and therapists. HBBSS was the only thing that got me into the solution and helped me see in black and white where my thinking/behaviors and reaction to life were off.

I did work the steps previously following a non HBSS format, and it did not work for me. I was white-knuckling and on a pink cloud. I was told to only list my top 20 resentments, and when I read them out loud I was asked, "What was your part in it?" If I couldn't see it, the information was spoon-fed to me. This did not work for me. I had to discover the truth for myself, in my own handwriting, with all of my resentments, inviting my Higher Power who I choose to call God, each time before I wrote to help me see the truth.

I just thought "rules" was a bit much. It's not their intention. I think it's great you found sobriety another way. Personally, I know I needed something more. Kudos to anyone who could get well using other methods. I know with my alcoholism, I wouldn't have gotten well any other method. Nothing else worked for me. Again, my intention of starting this thread was just to meet others who worked a common solution and chat about it. That was all.

I haven't heard of AWOL. It sounds like it was step-solution based.

I've personally never heard negative things about HBBSS meetings, though I am not from the area. If those people find something that works for them, great. All I know is, there are many people thinking recovery is about abstinence, and I am thankful I was told why abstinence wasn't enough for me to recover, and told why I was always more irritated, discontent and down right cranky after leaving group-therapy negative-talk, type 12 step meetings. The step instructions I was taught and didn't find helpful, were very different than the step instructions I was taught at HBBSS.

Thanks. Just trying to connect with others who were also helped by HBBSS so I can share conversations about it.

WMJ1012

The BBSS group conscience asks that people who haven't been through the steps that way be open-minded enough to listen."

The key word is "asks".

In other words we don't demand. So, often a new person might be nervous and not hear that part of our Group Conscience being read so they try to speak. A good chairperson will kindly ask if the person has been through the steps with a Big Book Step Study sponsor. They usually say "No" or they're a little confused and not sure (which means they haven't.) The chair usually has a very kind interaction with the person then moves on to the next person. No one even blinks over it.

If someone demands to speak anyway, I can ask them kindly to observe our group conscience.

If they still insist on speaking, I suppose I'd let them - because I'm not God and I would break AA Traditions if I demand they stop. What would I do? Throw a chair at them? Run over and tape their mouth shut?

The group conscience is always expressed through the loving hand of God.

LiveInPeace

WMJ thank you. That is exactly how our meeting is.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have spoken about our meeting here until I'm out of ego and done with the steps.

You described the meeting's group conscience perfectly. And it is done with love and tolerance at our meeting, too.

IOAA2

Hi.
Again I’m not in any way protesting using the BB OR the 12 and 12 in the process of recovery, they are both great textbooks which can result in sane long term recovery and have helped millions.
My lack of encouragement is the “rules” set up within the HBBSS format years ago, that’s it. People I know that are involved, some for a long period, have what appears to be good sobriety and active in the program.
This rule many have changed but I do not want a must have group member sponsor to do the steps with. My sponsor is a highly respected person with close to 48 years of happy sobriety who lives the program and I respect and value his advice, but he’s not good enough because he never did the steps the HBBSS way?
If it works for you and others that’s good, the steps are how the program works.
By the way I’ve also been a slow learner and repeated doing the steps numerous times at the old fashioned 12 and 12 meetings and the BB meetings.

BE WELL

Tommyh

thats how we operate too

Gottalife

I am just guessing, but I wouldthink they like to keep sponsorship within the group for the sake of consistency.

Very broadly speaking there are two types of sponsorship in AA, as per the original message in the book, and chinese whispers. If a newcomer is lucky they will be similar, but often they are not.

Chinese whispers = my sponsor says because his sponsor said that his sponsor said etc. If they are all speaking from the book, no probs. But here's a couple of examples: My sponsor insists on one step a year because his sponsor told him that. The young man that told me that died sober by his own hand at two years.

My sponsor says the steps are outdated and we are going to use this recovery therapy (designed for trained therapists) even though he/she is not a trained therapist. One new guy overdosed but survived, the other, a young mother drove her car into a tree. She survuved too. They were two different sponsors in dofferent parts of the country.

Extreme examples you may say, but the point is that the varieties of approachs on offer are not necessarily effective, and it would be very difficult to make progress in that group if your sponsor was leading you in another direction.

A crucial part of our program and unity of purpose is " We have found a way out upon which we are all agreed and can join in brotherly and harmonious action." It relly doesn't make sense to me to try and do it two ways at once.

Fly N Buy

I followed the link to the Asheville site in OP's initial post and listened to the Scott S share on the first step. Sounds like every other person I've heard talk about their experience coming to the rooms.

Guess I was expecting something different based on reading about a different format? I know this was a speaker as opposed to a meeting, but pretty sure this gents esh while discussing the step or sharing his story wouldn't change much.

Sounds like much ado about.......

Can't imagine some poor chap dropping in from out of town and starting to share only to be quizzed about his knowledge of a step?!!? Thanks for the heads up, I'll be more mindful as I travel around. Wouldn't want to upset anyone.....

baxibermuda

HI does any one know if there are meetings of this type in Glasgow Scotland.

Thanks

LiveInPeace

I just wanted to make one other comment.... the guidelines about speaking are there for the sake of the newcomer, and are not meant in any way shape or form to hurt the feelings of those who want to speak. I think I will leave it at that.

LiveInPeace

Off hand I do not know, but please private message me if you don't get an answer. Also, I would be happy to help you get in touch with someone who could help you start one. The Asheville, NC website I think could help you but I'm not 100% sure. That seems to be the "main" HBBSS website right now. Tommyh, is this something you could help baxibermuda with, too?