Lying about being in recovery.
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Lying about being in recovery.
So this girl told her life story at a meeting a few weeks ago and preached how important the steps were bla bla bla. Anyway I just seen her profile on a online dating service and she mentioned that she occasionally drinks and uses drugs. Either she relapsed since speaking or she was never sober to start with. I guess it is a fellowship of cons, dopers, and drunks so this type of thing should be expected. I am no saint in spite of being sober. Even so it chaps my ass when someone acts like they are in recovery and really aren't. Especially if they speak at a meeting a preach the program.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I learnt a long time ago that only some of the mebers of AA are alcoholics trying to recover, so I chose my friends accordingly.
In this case though, it could be she just hasn't updated her face book. For someone recovering from a life threatening disease, maybe facebook isn't her top priority at the moment. Perhaps recovery is, and maybe your recovery should be yours.
In this case though, it could be she just hasn't updated her face book. For someone recovering from a life threatening disease, maybe facebook isn't her top priority at the moment. Perhaps recovery is, and maybe your recovery should be yours.
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Originally Posted by Gottalife 
I learnt a long time ago that only some of the mebers of AA are alcoholics trying to recover, so I chose my friends accordingly.
In this case though, it could be she just hasn't updated her face book. For someone recovering from a life threatening disease, maybe facebook isn't her top priority at the moment. Perhaps recovery is, and maybe your recovery should be yours.
In this case though, it could be she just hasn't updated her face book. For someone recovering from a life threatening disease, maybe facebook isn't her top priority at the moment. Perhaps recovery is, and maybe your recovery should be yours.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Putting down the booze/drugs is just a small part of recovery, right? "We think a man unthinking to say sobriety is enough," as the book says.
It's good that you recognize your resentments and are open about them. Resentment, as it's said, is the #1 killer - it kills more of us than anything (even drugs and booze!).
So with that said, I hope you've added her to your current 4th step.
Especially with someone new, I expect that most of what they say is a half-truth....that's how I rolled when I was new. It would be massively hypocritical of me to judge someone for doing exactly the same things I've done - even if I didn't tell precisely the same lie myself, I sure told a ton of them.
I still get caught in the trap of judging others too though. When I wake up from that ego-driven "blackout" it occurs to me that sitting on the throne of judgment isn't doing MY RECOVERY one damn bit of good. And as a matter of fact, my judgments are actually impeding my recovery....so it's back on the spiritual path for me ASAP.
It's good that you recognize your resentments and are open about them. Resentment, as it's said, is the #1 killer - it kills more of us than anything (even drugs and booze!).
So with that said, I hope you've added her to your current 4th step.
Especially with someone new, I expect that most of what they say is a half-truth....that's how I rolled when I was new. It would be massively hypocritical of me to judge someone for doing exactly the same things I've done - even if I didn't tell precisely the same lie myself, I sure told a ton of them.
I still get caught in the trap of judging others too though. When I wake up from that ego-driven "blackout" it occurs to me that sitting on the throne of judgment isn't doing MY RECOVERY one damn bit of good. And as a matter of fact, my judgments are actually impeding my recovery....so it's back on the spiritual path for me ASAP.
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[QUOTE=Db1105;5446056]I have to remember that when I point my finger at someone, there are 4 others pointing right back at me.[/QUOTE
When I joined the army they taught us to point with our whole hand rather than just with one or two fingers (aka knife hand). They emphasized that pointing with one finger was unprofessional.
When I joined the army they taught us to point with our whole hand rather than just with one or two fingers (aka knife hand). They emphasized that pointing with one finger was unprofessional.
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examples
Originally Posted by Pacc1986
So this girl told her life story at a meeting a few weeks ago and preached how important the steps were
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
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Dating profiles are not the most reliable source of information IMO...
Other than that...this situation looks like a wonderful opportunity for SELF inventory
Man, don't you wish some days there was a different answer?!
P
Other than that...this situation looks like a wonderful opportunity for SELF inventory
Man, don't you wish some days there was a different answer?!
P
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Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
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Originally Posted by Pacc1986
I think i need to stay away from the internet entirely. all it seems to do is cause drama
Referring to our list again. Putting out of our minds the wrongs others had done, we resolutely looked for our own mistakes. Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened? Though a situation had not been entirely our fault, we tried to disregard the other person involved entirely. Where were we to blame? The inventory was ours, not the other mans.When we saw our faults we listed them. We placed them before us in black and white. We admitted our wrongs honestly and were willing to set these matters straight.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
As AA is a program of attraction not promotion, I suppose I would have an expectation of members walking the talk. Therein lieth the lesson. LOL
If you are feeling up to the drama that may ensue ask her about it.
As people have pointed out just look out for yourself and your sobriety, I can understand why it would rankle you though.
have a good day
Caihong
If you are feeling up to the drama that may ensue ask her about it.
As people have pointed out just look out for yourself and your sobriety, I can understand why it would rankle you though.
have a good day
Caihong
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