Haven't been to this side in awhile just questions
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Reno, Nv
Posts: 873
Haven't been to this side in awhile just questions
So I gotta be completely honest, I have huge hang ups with AA. I've even referred to it as a cult before ( out of line sorry just being honest about my opinions) but here's the deal. I keep relapsing and relapsing and relapsing over and over and over again, I need daily support and accountability.
Those are two things I can get in AA, and desperately need those two things. Doing on my own ( I am in outpatient rehab, but its not daily support) is working to some degree, but when I hit those low spots I drink again. It would be a lot better to go to a meeting or pick up a phone then drink.
I have problems with AA because it feels like religion to me. I've gone to meetings and just sat there and listened and that worked to some degree. But I really wasn't part of the program, I was just there.
Can an Atheist really function in AA, are there an atheist that have done the program? Today was my first time back in AA in awhile and I really actually liked it, I want to give the program a go because this time I am hungry to stay sober at all cost.
Those are two things I can get in AA, and desperately need those two things. Doing on my own ( I am in outpatient rehab, but its not daily support) is working to some degree, but when I hit those low spots I drink again. It would be a lot better to go to a meeting or pick up a phone then drink.
I have problems with AA because it feels like religion to me. I've gone to meetings and just sat there and listened and that worked to some degree. But I really wasn't part of the program, I was just there.
Can an Atheist really function in AA, are there an atheist that have done the program? Today was my first time back in AA in awhile and I really actually liked it, I want to give the program a go because this time I am hungry to stay sober at all cost.
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
I need daily support and accountability
Sure about that? I ask because neither of those is part of the AA program.
I also ask because, if you're the type of alcoholic AA aims to help, all the support and accountability in the world won't keep you sober and happy cuz eventually you're accountable to yourself and a sponsor, friends or home group can't hold you up forever.
I had a lot of "problems" with AA too but when it got to the point that my problems with my daily life were worse than what I perceived to be problems in AA.... I took the plunge. Turned out, my perceptions were wrong and what I thought was terrible wasn't bad at all.
Re. an athiest....no direct experience there. One thing I ask my sponsees to do though is to try and be willing to set aside their prejudices and to just try things, whether or not they want to do em or think they'll work. And yea, that includes the "religious guys" setting aside all their prejudices (pre judgments) re. religion and/or AA as welll as asking the same of the atheist / agnostic guys.
Sure about that? I ask because neither of those is part of the AA program.
I also ask because, if you're the type of alcoholic AA aims to help, all the support and accountability in the world won't keep you sober and happy cuz eventually you're accountable to yourself and a sponsor, friends or home group can't hold you up forever.
I had a lot of "problems" with AA too but when it got to the point that my problems with my daily life were worse than what I perceived to be problems in AA.... I took the plunge. Turned out, my perceptions were wrong and what I thought was terrible wasn't bad at all.
Re. an athiest....no direct experience there. One thing I ask my sponsees to do though is to try and be willing to set aside their prejudices and to just try things, whether or not they want to do em or think they'll work. And yea, that includes the "religious guys" setting aside all their prejudices (pre judgments) re. religion and/or AA as welll as asking the same of the atheist / agnostic guys.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
a·the·ist
ˈāTHēəst/
noun
a person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.
What if the thing that controls the universe is a mathematical equation? Certainly you could be an Atheist and still believe in something greater than yourself
ˈāTHēəst/
noun
a person who disbelieves or lacks belief in the existence of God or gods.
What if the thing that controls the universe is a mathematical equation? Certainly you could be an Atheist and still believe in something greater than yourself
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,042
I'm an atheist. I don't have any problem with AA. I certainly and wholeheartedly believe there are many powers greater than myself.
Some AA groups have more of a religious flavor than others. It depends on the group membership.
I agree with DayTrader that AA doesn't provide accountability. If by daily support you mean daily meetings, it looks to me like you can find plenty of meetings in Reno: AA Northern Nevada - NNIG.org
Why not give it a try? What have you got to lose? (That's what got me in the door.) Try a meeting every day for a week. Listen. Raise your hand if they ask who's new. Stick around a little after the meetings and talk to someone. See how it feels.
Some AA groups have more of a religious flavor than others. It depends on the group membership.
I agree with DayTrader that AA doesn't provide accountability. If by daily support you mean daily meetings, it looks to me like you can find plenty of meetings in Reno: AA Northern Nevada - NNIG.org
Why not give it a try? What have you got to lose? (That's what got me in the door.) Try a meeting every day for a week. Listen. Raise your hand if they ask who's new. Stick around a little after the meetings and talk to someone. See how it feels.
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy 
Can an Atheist really function in AA, are there an atheist that have done the program? Today was my first time back in AA in awhile and I really actually liked it, I want to give the program a go because this time I am hungry to stay sober at all cost.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-12-step-recovery/
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: South East England
Posts: 8,009
Welcome to the 12 step forum Jeremy.
Yes, you can achieve sobriety without being religious. I use the word God, but only because it is easy to label it as such. My God doesn't exist in the bible. I don't attend Church. I find my God in nature...in the countryside, the weather, the beauty of my magnolia tree blooming, the sound of running water from a river or a baby giggling. Anything in fact that has been untouched or spoilt by the hand of man.
When I stand at the top of a hill and see the beautiful green rolling English countryside beneath me, or watch a sunset, I feel such peace and security. I feel there is such power around me that is nothing to do with me. I'm a tiny insignificant speck on the landscape.
Follow the link that Boleo posted. There are many many people in AA who don't use the God word.
It's really good to see you reaching out and asking these questions. Take care. One day at a time.
Yes, you can achieve sobriety without being religious. I use the word God, but only because it is easy to label it as such. My God doesn't exist in the bible. I don't attend Church. I find my God in nature...in the countryside, the weather, the beauty of my magnolia tree blooming, the sound of running water from a river or a baby giggling. Anything in fact that has been untouched or spoilt by the hand of man.
When I stand at the top of a hill and see the beautiful green rolling English countryside beneath me, or watch a sunset, I feel such peace and security. I feel there is such power around me that is nothing to do with me. I'm a tiny insignificant speck on the landscape.
Follow the link that Boleo posted. There are many many people in AA who don't use the God word.
It's really good to see you reaching out and asking these questions. Take care. One day at a time.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 1,111
Good luck my friend...in this part of the world there seem to be lots of people who hold the same line as you, many get sober...the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
For me, nothing 'religious' has happened to me un 6 years of AA and recovery...my awakening has been Spiritual..I came to life
Some people bristle at even that kind of language but that's ok, we seem to misunderstand these terms and get caught up in the detail
Stick around...tell us how it works for you!
P
For me, nothing 'religious' has happened to me un 6 years of AA and recovery...my awakening has been Spiritual..I came to life
Some people bristle at even that kind of language but that's ok, we seem to misunderstand these terms and get caught up in the detail Stick around...tell us how it works for you!
P
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
I've been sober and "godless" in AA going on 34 years. I've done the program, work the steps and have taken others through them. I don't like labeling myself an atheist or anything else because I don't like painting myself into corners. My higher power isn't a deity and lacks a pronoun. A turning point for me was a sponsor telling me it's okay to not believe in god but maybe try stop playing god. It was one of many "Aha" moments I've had by keeping an open mind.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: SE USA
Posts: 599
Some really good stuff has been posted already. I will just add a few random thoughts on my experience:
- As Cousina said, I had to stop trying to play god. That was #1 for me.
- I had to be open minded and willing.
- I ended up finding two meetings I really like. There are a couple of Bible beaters but for the most part your choice of a higher power is used.
- I had to get over thinking that everyone should think like me. They have a right to their opinion/belief just like I do.
- I had to separate religion and spirituality. While not an atheist I had a huge disdain for religion. I've learned I can be spiritual, in my own way to my own higher power, without religion.
My opinion is most people will connect with at least some people in the rooms and those you don't connect with help build tolerance and patience.
- As Cousina said, I had to stop trying to play god. That was #1 for me.
- I had to be open minded and willing.
- I ended up finding two meetings I really like. There are a couple of Bible beaters but for the most part your choice of a higher power is used.
- I had to get over thinking that everyone should think like me. They have a right to their opinion/belief just like I do.
- I had to separate religion and spirituality. While not an atheist I had a huge disdain for religion. I've learned I can be spiritual, in my own way to my own higher power, without religion.
My opinion is most people will connect with at least some people in the rooms and those you don't connect with help build tolerance and patience.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
perceptions
I have often heard alcoholism referred to as, "The dis-ease of perceptions."
What if your perceptions of AA are wrong? What if God simply is? What if you are rejecting His love? What if it's not everyone else? What if YOU are the one who's perceptions are wrong? What if you dropped the judgementalism and decided to listen to how people were staying sober instead of why you can't?
Honesty, openmindedness, and willingness.
Oh, and the things I feared most are those that eventually helped me the most. That includes a day-by-day faith that I can be sober, spiritual, and sane--all at the same time.
What if your perceptions of AA are wrong? What if God simply is? What if you are rejecting His love? What if it's not everyone else? What if YOU are the one who's perceptions are wrong? What if you dropped the judgementalism and decided to listen to how people were staying sober instead of why you can't?
Honesty, openmindedness, and willingness.
Oh, and the things I feared most are those that eventually helped me the most. That includes a day-by-day faith that I can be sober, spiritual, and sane--all at the same time.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
My sponsor was an Atheist......to work the steps, he just had to stop insisting there was no god.....today, it is a power greater than us, not a religious deity, but some power greater than us.....I am not my own god today
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
Don't let the GOD stuff drive you away.
I didn't have a Higher Power for the first two years. I used the groups and people in it.
Give it another try. There are people who don't necessarily have Higher Powers but are still in the rooms with multiple years of sobriety.
I didn't have a Higher Power for the first two years. I used the groups and people in it.
Give it another try. There are people who don't necessarily have Higher Powers but are still in the rooms with multiple years of sobriety.
Originally Posted by Thatdeliveryguy
So I gotta be completely honest, I have huge hang ups with AA. I've even referred to it as a cult before ( out of line sorry just being honest about my opinions) but here's the deal. I keep relapsing and relapsing and relapsing over and over and over again, I need daily support and accountability.
Those are two things I can get in AA, and desperately need those two things. Doing on my own ( I am in outpatient rehab, but its not daily support) is working to some degree, but when I hit those low spots I drink again. It would be a lot better to go to a meeting or pick up a phone then drink.
I have problems with AA because it feels like religion to me. I've gone to meetings and just sat there and listened and that worked to some degree. But I really wasn't part of the program, I was just there.
Can an Atheist really function in AA, are there an atheist that have done the program? Today was my first time back in AA in awhile and I really actually liked it, I want to give the program a go because this time I am hungry to stay sober at all cost.
Those are two things I can get in AA, and desperately need those two things. Doing on my own ( I am in outpatient rehab, but its not daily support) is working to some degree, but when I hit those low spots I drink again. It would be a lot better to go to a meeting or pick up a phone then drink.
I have problems with AA because it feels like religion to me. I've gone to meetings and just sat there and listened and that worked to some degree. But I really wasn't part of the program, I was just there.
Can an Atheist really function in AA, are there an atheist that have done the program? Today was my first time back in AA in awhile and I really actually liked it, I want to give the program a go because this time I am hungry to stay sober at all cost.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Earthworm
Don't let the GOD stuff drive you away.
I didn't have a Higher Power for the first two years. I used the groups and people in it.
Give it another try. There are people who don't necessarily have Higher Powers but are still in the rooms with multiple years of sobriety.
I didn't have a Higher Power for the first two years. I used the groups and people in it.
Give it another try. There are people who don't necessarily have Higher Powers but are still in the rooms with multiple years of sobriety.
I never did buy the religious God, but I use the word a lot because to me it is the best way to describe that unsuspected inner resource. The AA program is based on the premise that it will get us in touch with a power of our own conception that will solve our problem.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Earthworm
Don't let the GOD stuff drive you away.
I didn't have a Higher Power for the first two years. I used the groups and people in it.
Give it another try. There are people who don't necessarily have Higher Powers but are still in the rooms with multiple years of sobriety.
I didn't have a Higher Power for the first two years. I used the groups and people in it.
Give it another try. There are people who don't necessarily have Higher Powers but are still in the rooms with multiple years of sobriety.
Say you decide to use a Ouija board as your higher power. After all BW had dabbled with one. Fine.
That`s really not the issue.
The issue is will those in the meetings you attend be accepting of this. You might feel comfortable using a Ouija board. However, make no doubt some may become highly offended and you might begin to feel ostracize for not getting with the program (ie, God is God.)
AA meetings can be very cliquish.
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
Posts: 7,242
That`s really not the issue.
The issue is will those in the meetings you attend be accepting of this
haven't found that to be required or even desirable, Ken.
in fact, what is "my HP, or a "g.o.m.u". or my unsuspected inner resource...is pretty much a private matter. i don't offer it to others for acceptance or rejection, nor do i accept or reject whatever their "HP" may or may not be.
The issue is will those in the meetings you attend be accepting of this
haven't found that to be required or even desirable, Ken.
in fact, what is "my HP, or a "g.o.m.u". or my unsuspected inner resource...is pretty much a private matter. i don't offer it to others for acceptance or rejection, nor do i accept or reject whatever their "HP" may or may not be.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by fini
That`s really not the issue.
The issue is will those in the meetings you attend be accepting of this
haven't found that to be required or even desirable, Ken.
in fact, what is "my HP, or a "g.o.m.u". or my unsuspected inner resource...is pretty much a private matter. i don't offer it to others for acceptance or rejection, nor do i accept or reject whatever their "HP" may or may not be.
The issue is will those in the meetings you attend be accepting of this
haven't found that to be required or even desirable, Ken.
in fact, what is "my HP, or a "g.o.m.u". or my unsuspected inner resource...is pretty much a private matter. i don't offer it to others for acceptance or rejection, nor do i accept or reject whatever their "HP" may or may not be.
But so what you might say? None of their business what their HP is.
Yes, but for many feeling comfortable in an AA meetings is important.
Cross talk might not be allowed but it does happpens under the table.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
The ouija board would probably go down quite well in these parts. Our lot seem to like anything that doesn't conform with mainstream. On the other hand, if you talked about Jesus Christ, you would most likely run into a lot of flack. Conventional religion, while practiced by some in our groups, is far from the norm and not generally regarded as appropriate to discuss in meetings. I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Gottalife
The ouija board would probably go down quite well in these parts. Our lot seem to like anything that doesn't conform with mainstream. On the other hand, if you talked about Jesus Christ, you would most likely run into a lot of flack. Conventional religion, while practiced by some in our groups, is far from the norm and not generally regarded as appropriate to discuss in meetings. I don't know whether that is a good thing or a bad thing.
All depends on the meeting.
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