Sponsor or ... another way to work the steps?
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
Step meetings are great. FWIW, I would also suggest some Big Book meetings if you want by the book sponsorship. There are plenty here in NYC. Keep asking and your head up. The sponsor will come.
-allan
-allan
p***enger
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Originally Posted by CousinA 
FWIW, I would also suggest some Big Book meetings if you want by the book sponsorship. There are plenty here in NYC.
Trudgin
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 6,348
Courage, you could have written this about me.....
I had an issue with my sponsor a few months back and while I never sought to say goodbye or find a new one (the thought did cross my mind) I took advice from other friends in AA. Their suggestion was much like what you post - sort of a polyglot group of folks to draw from as needed.
For me AA embodies the concept of Tacit Knowledge transfer - I need more than I can simply get from the book by reading it - but, today I don't feel beholden to one "sponsor".
I feel like I learned early to do - as you - service and I try to work 10-11-12 daily. I think I am too pigheaded to get onboard with an old timer set in archaic ways..... I identify more with a 3-5 year guy who still remembers those first 24 months.
Thanks for the thread it's very useful.
I had an issue with my sponsor a few months back and while I never sought to say goodbye or find a new one (the thought did cross my mind) I took advice from other friends in AA. Their suggestion was much like what you post - sort of a polyglot group of folks to draw from as needed.
For me AA embodies the concept of Tacit Knowledge transfer - I need more than I can simply get from the book by reading it - but, today I don't feel beholden to one "sponsor".
I feel like I learned early to do - as you - service and I try to work 10-11-12 daily. I think I am too pigheaded to get onboard with an old timer set in archaic ways..... I identify more with a 3-5 year guy who still remembers those first 24 months.
Thanks for the thread it's very useful.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,945
But the big book also says share experience strength and hope I like that better. How would I get better if I didn't take directions or suggestions. Resentment about something gives me a poor attitude the last couple days sorry.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Mgm, AL
Posts: 1,000
First Tradition
Our COMMON welfare should come first is my understanding of the First Tradition. It's the UNITY part of the Recovery Triangle...
I am free to do whatever I want, yep, but that may mean standing out in the hallway during meetings...
I was told in my early meetings that The Twelve Steps were there to help me keep from killing myself; The Twelve Traditions were there to help me keep from killing everyone else. They are, as it turns out, a very fine framework for most interpersonal relationships. Or so I am reminded from time to time...
I am free to do whatever I want, yep, but that may mean standing out in the hallway during meetings...
I was told in my early meetings that The Twelve Steps were there to help me keep from killing myself; The Twelve Traditions were there to help me keep from killing everyone else. They are, as it turns out, a very fine framework for most interpersonal relationships. Or so I am reminded from time to time...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by Boleo
Sounds like they did you a favor. If you work the steps with someone who did not do it the BB way, you will end up just like them.
Originally Posted by courage2
What makes you think that's a bad thing, Boleo? All these people have lots of years sober and do service and contribute quite a lot, I think. That's why I asked them in particular.
Originally Posted by Boleo
I don't think that it is a "bad" thing, I think that it would place a glass-ceiling on your recovery.
You may not be thinking of it yet... but there may come a day when you will get an urge to sponsor others. Don't put yourself in a position where you will be inclined to say no.
You may not be thinking of it yet... but there may come a day when you will get an urge to sponsor others. Don't put yourself in a position where you will be inclined to say no.
I haven`t done the steps in the traditional manner with a sponsor. However, I am up front about this and will recommend a step sponsor if they like. Personally, I prefer telling my sins to a priest in a confessional (where I did my first "5th” decades ago.) I also don`t feel comfortable hearing a 5th and would prefer a member use someone else.
Originally Posted by greens
It is up to you. Lots of people stay sober without the steps. Lots of people enjoy the steps 
there are many paths
there are many pathsI am where I am today because of being sober and I got sober in AA.
Sure, I like it when members sometimes compliment me on my shares. However, it`s not about sounding good in the rooms (or on a message board.) It`s how I live my life outside that counts.
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