Life on Lifes terms - Sometimes it just sucks!

[Gutterdrunk]

Acceptance is the key, this I know, 'cause the big book tells me so...



But that does not mean I am a doormat! and I don't have to let the sick people in my wife's family, suck me and my wife and kids in to there drama. I can't change people, places and things, but, I can change me! and the way that I react.

Today, I can set boundries. I don't have to react out of anger, and strike back. I don't have to lay in wait, for the opportunity to get even......

And the most important thing is, that I can let this go, Accepting the fact that I can't change them. This is very hard this time. I have been dealing with these people, for 16 years now. And the old behavior, well, it's just waiting for the green light.

I keep reminding myself, that resentments are poison to ME. My sponsor says that it's like drinking poison, and expecting someone else to die.


I feel better now, I think I'll get to a meeting, and let somemore of this go.

[MootPoint]

Here's hoping your meeting helped!

God, I just sometimes hate life on life's terms. But the other options are even less appealing.

My sponsor says that it's like drinking poison, and expecting someone else to die.

You have a wise sponsor. I'm going to have to remember that one.

[Little Missy]

(((Gutterdrunk))) Thanks for sharing that!! I know it always helps me to vent my frustrations (maybe even twice LOL)! Let go and Let HP!! Hard for me to do sometimes, but what a relief to know "I" don't have to try and fix it!!

Hugs to you,
Missy

[3legacy]

((((((((Gutterdrunk))))))))))
Balance is Key. Appreciate reading your post and think you were actually doing quite well before heading to a meeting yesterday. Even Dr. Paul, who wrote the piece on acceptance everyone wishes to jam down your throat these days, told me there are three parts to the Serenity Prayer. We needn't be doormats. Accepting it for what it is "at this moment" is one thing, but if we don't find some courage and wisdom next go round, we relinquish ourselves to being doormats forever.

((((((((Gutterdrunk))))))))))
Kiss Heart of Spirit In Love & Service,
Three Leg a C

[Gooch]

(((((Gutterdrunk))))))))

setting boundaries is a new gig for us . ( the rubber portable ones work well sometimes and other people only seem to understand concrete and steel ones)

Been important for me to learn that I can accept it without liking it. They tell me the only thing I can positively change is me. I may be able to affect change in others, but I should never count on it or expect it.(Expectations being premeditated resentments ya know) And with all of my choices there are consequences.. I try like heck to make more consistently choices with the most appealing consequences but hey we all spin out on the learning curve.

Does anyone ever feel like the wisdom has become completely intuitive or is this gonna be one of those lifetime lessons?

[Dan]

Originally Posted by Gutterdrunk

and let somemore of this go.

Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;

I use this part of the Serenity Prayer when things get real bed sometimes.
Thanks for the ESH Gutter.
Good to see you again.

[Gutterdrunk]

Thanks everyone for your replys to my venting on Friday afternoon.

For the most part, I am not an angry person. Letting go of anger and resentments has been something that I have worked hard on, and have benefited from a lot since working the steps daily.

But this one was tough. I have not been this mad, (I mean fuming mad ), since I have been sober this time around. By Friday afternoon, I figured out how I was going to kill them all (slowly, painfully), and where I could bury the bodies.

But, I have learned, that when I think with emotion, that my reactions are always wrong, always. especially when anger is involved.

So, I used my tools, my sponsor and the program to get me through. I have let it go, and don't have to get hung up, on trying to fix people, places and things, that I have no control over.

As my sponsor said:

" Being an Alcoholic, is not an option,
Suffering from Alcoholism is......"

Thanks again everyone

[3legacy]

((((((GutterDrunk))))))))
Thanks for the reminder and glad you did what you did. Would love to meet you at a meeting, but not necessarily at my Home Group. My Home Group meets within chain link fences with razor wire glistening on rainy or sunny days ......

"Wallowing in pools of emotion is still wallowing, so get off your butt get to a meeting and call your sponsor." - Three Leg a See's Sponsor

I have a hole dug outback for a future pond. Around the ranch, we sometimes joke about changing a few peoples name to PHIL. Our humor is quickly replaced with serious focus being put back into the reality of AA's Solution.


Some of the humor has threads of past realities for some of the folks I now view as dear friends. Took the tools in use for US to become good friends.

3 Leg a see
:tri

[Gutterdrunk]

Originally Posted by 3legacy

Our humor is quickly replaced with serious focus being put back into the reality of AA's Solution.

Isn't that the truth. I was able to unload a lot at my Friday Night's Men's Stag meeting, my home group ( and a few other meetings this weekend, I stacked them up). And of course we laugh, at the serious things, and rip on each other a lot. But the reality, as you say 3 leg, is the solution.

Because for me, without the solution, the reality is that to drink, is to die. That would be the end result of all of this anger left unchecked.

:tri

[s0farg0ne]

Originally Posted by Gutterdrunk

I keep reminding myself, that resentments are poison to ME. .

as my sponsor tells me, "its better to give a resentment than take one"

Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I an disturbed, its because I find some person. place, or situation-some fact of my life-unacceptable to me, and i can find no serinity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Noting, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless i accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.