MatteaRuth

Tried to go to an AA meeting at noon but couldn't do it. Too much anxiety. Anxiety is a great cause of my drinking, and I just couldn't muster the courage to go to the meeting and sit around 25 strangers...

awuh1

Typically when an alcoholic goes to an AA meeting, they find themselves in the company of friends they just haven't met yet.

Dee74

I've known some people call the central office in their town and arrange to be met in the carpark and taken into the meeting that way.

If thats too daunting, maybe hit an open meeting (open to alcoholic and non alcoholics alike) and take a trusted friend or relative with you...just to show you there's nothing to fear, then you can start going on your on?

D

Eddiebuckle

Mattea,

It's hard to go to your first meeting, I remember mine well and it was five years ago. Still - doing nothing will solve nothing. I think Dee's advice is excellent - however you get through the doorway, once you break the ice, you won't regret it.

ubntubnt

hi, maybe this can help:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...w-joiners.html

tomsteve

Fear of the unknown was pretty strong walking into my first meeting. Hardest door I have ever opened.
But well worth mustering up the courage to do so.
The doors have been pretty easy to open since.

Ya gotta prayer out for ya.

MIRecovery

I found AA meetings to be the only place I feel truly safe. The first meeting is tough but you will be welcomed by people who will care for you like no others

Ken33xx

You don`t have to introduce yourself as new. Just say your name and that you`re an alcoholic. You don`t have to speak or share with the group. Leave right after the meeting if you want. Also try a variety of meetings as they often differ in format and flavor. The hardest thing for me about AA was actually walking into the room my first time. I didn`t share and bolted out afterwards.

immri

I definitely relate, anxiety is a huuuuge part of my drinking too and going to a strange place, with strange people... I never thought I'd do that
I went to my first on Tuesday though, and have been to 5 more since then, I loved it that much. I'd go to even more if I were able.
The thing that helped me get there was saying to myself I'll just have a look, I put my headphones on and caught an early bus and walked over 30 mins early, thinking I could sit and see people arrive from a distance until I felt comfortable enough to approach. I told myself if it looked too scary, I could just keep walking and no harm done.
What happened was I walked past, saw 2 people smoking outside, turned around and walked back and said 'hi, can I just ask what you're here for?' So I didn't have to directly ask about AA, and they told me they were there for an AA meeting and welcomed me very warmly, showed me where to make coffee and it was great
I strongly recommend trying to go, whichever way makes you most comfortable
Goodluck!

Kensho

Yeah, me too. I'm a natural introvert (and really don't wish it otherwise). But I found out that some others in the meetings are a lot like me. You don't have to say anything - if they go around the room, just pass when it comes to you: a lot of people do. (I didn't even say that I was an alcoholic for quite a few meetings, and nobody batted an eye - whatever you're comfortable with. )

I found it to be a safe environment. Good luck.

MIRecovery

You may want to try an open speaker meeting. They are the least threatening of all AA meetings. Nobody with even know you are there

Gottalife

It's very tough to go to your first meeting. Some can walk through the fear, many cant. I was one of the latter. I rang the AA office and asked to speak with someone one on one about my drinking problem. I spent an afternoon with a wonderful person who seemed to understand me completely. That night he took me to my first meeting. He introduced me to a few people, and helped me through my next few meetings until I started to find my feet.

I hate to think what the consequences might have been for me had I not been able to find help in this way. I will always be grateful to this man and I pay my debt to him by being willing to do the same thing for any newcomer.

Fly N Buy

It's funny that when I was drinking I could walk into any bar and feel right at home even though most there where "normies"

But, walking into a room full of people with one common problem was daunting.
Open meeting is a good way to start - there's no necessity to do anything but sit and listen. You'll be among others who understand and those simply looking for information.

Meetings will start right on time - which is remarkable to me with a bunch of drunks. If it's an 8pm meeting walking in at 7:58 will avoid any pre meeting interaction - if you simply leave a couple minutes early you won't have to interact at the end either.

Maybe this would help knowing you can just come and go?!?

Kind Regards

Gargery

You know, I've been going to AA for ten months now and have come to prefer the darker, quieter, sparsely attended evening meetings.

RedCasey

I was extremely nervous when it came time for my first meeting. I was afraid that if I actually attended I would forever be labelled as an alcoholic and I was afraid people would see me. I also had a vague idea that it was some sort of a religious program and I didn't want anything to do with God.

I was extremely lucky in that my first meeting is what we call a newcomer's meeting around these parts. I was too scared to raise my hand when they asked if it was anyone's first meeting but luckily another person attending wasn't. After roughly a half hour of listening to the members share their experience strength and hope I had a strong feeling that for once in my life I had found where I truly belonged and fit in. I had spent my entire life up to that point looking for other people like myself in bars and other sordid places and the entire time they were waiting in these rooms. I can't promise you will experience the same but that is what happened to me.

WMJ1012

Mattea

Anxiety is just fear. My fear of being so awfully different than others that it stops me from saving my life.

I assure you we are all the same. Everyone else is afraid too. Even when people's symptoms look different than yours, fear is underneath.

Other people's opinions of me are none of my business. I keep my eyes on God who wants me to heal.

If you can walk through this fear you will get God's approval which is the mark of Peace.

Go to it!

Turtle82

I would venture to say most everyone sitting in AA rooms has been through what you're facing now. I know that "just BREATH and do it" is easier said than done but if you do one day you'll look back and be glad you did.

markz

We have all been there, perhaps you have not hit your bottom yet.
More pain might be required.

Grungehead

"I am responsible. When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help, I want the hand of A.A. always to be there. And for that: I am responsible."

2muchpain

Depends on the kind of anxiety we are talking about. Are we talking about the typical anxiety when facing new situations, or extreme anxiety that can be very disabling. Very few have actually experienced this kind of anxiety, so most have not been there fortunately.
I began drinking heavily when I was dealing with this level of anxiety along with crippling panic attacks. Just going to the grocery store was a terrifying experience, so, an AA meeting was out of the question. I mentioned this on a previous thread.
The last thing I needed to hear was that I needed to experience more pain. John