AndreTT

I'm in my early twenties. I travel a lot so I been to several different meetings. I live and do most of my travel in relatively small towns. Most of the people in the rooms are older than me.

I have realized one thing about meetings: every time I go to a meeting and people are impressed with my youth, meaning they look down at me, make remarks about how young I am, or, what happens most, they start to treat me like a baby and pamper me, every time this happens, I see how there is very little recovery there. Normally what I see in those meetings are a lot of people who are not working the steps, who are relapsing regularly. Also those meetings have few newcomers staying for more than a few weeks.

Conversely, if I go to a meeting and people look past my youth, don't make a big deal about it and don't treat me condescendingly, I quickly see how the meeting is a strong one, with people that I want what they have. There is often rotation of service and a spirit of unity. There are people there who have experience AND strength AND hope. There is significant attraction of alcoholics in the community. Most are staying sober and living lives outside the meetings that they don't wish to hide.

Anyway just wanted to share this...

Pagekeeper

I was about 15 when I went to my first AA meeting, so I'm well aware that alcoholism can get us from the very beginning. For others, it doesn't develop or progress until later in life, so perhaps for some it is more difficult to comprehend being an alcoholic at such a young age. I most certainly had the phenomena of craving in my teenage years, and I was as much of a real alcoholic as the old timers, even though they had spent more of their life in active alcoholism. I did not get sober until my 30's, but I know young people can have this thing because I sure did. Glad to read you have found the solution.

Gottalife

When I first came to AA, everyone looked old. Now they all look young. I got sober at twenty two. There are some differences for the young ones. To start with, a twenty two year old with an emotional age of 13 and no life experience has a different outlook, in my experience. Might be why.we have young people's meetings around.

It's a blessing to get sober young and I always make a point of sharing with young newcomers, that loads of people find permanent recovery in their twenties. I sat in a room the other day with over 100 years sobriety among about six of us who all got sober in our twenties. The secret for me, regardless of age, was to look for the similarities, not the differences.

Ken33xx

On the one hand when I see someone quite young at meetings I think to myself how different things might have been had I gotten sober when it became apparent there was a problem.

On the other hand I played the drink out and I don't have the nagging doubts which those who got sober at a relatively early age might experience.

BadCompany

Most of them just see the opportunity to get right much earlier than they did. Few of them see the pain of an entire drinking career compacted into a few short years. Instead of finding a wife. starting a career and building a life we were fighting for our life.

WMJ1012

If you stick around one place long enough for people to get to know your insides they'll have a lot more to go on than one thing they see on the outside.

Ken33xx

There's also that age difference. I often have little in common with someone 30 years younger than myself. However, I do make a point to say I wish I'd been smart enough to have gotten sober in my 20's.

I dropped in on an AA meeting last summer which was for younger members. Many in attendance were under 25 and judging by the look on their face/body language I got the feeling most could wait for the meeting to end.

I was asked to share for 15 minutes and I explained the problems I started experiencing in my early 20's never went away. They just got worse. I also made a point to tell them the doors are always open in AA.

However, I'm not sure many could identify with me anymore than I could relate with someone getting sober at 20. If anything I related with those who looked as if they wanted to leave because that would have been me at that age.

OklaBH

truth is they are impressed. If they are condescending, than yeah, I would be irritated too. Frankly, I wish everyday I had gotten sober a long time ago. Remember, part of the reaction could be jealously. Use it towards your recovery. AA, work, social gatherings..we cant control how people react to us. Glad you are sober and posted this

Ken33xx

For me I wouldn't say impressed as much as surprised when I see someone come in their early 20's.

To be sure my own life would have likely taken a much more positive route and I wish I had gotten sober at say 23.

But as mentioned in an early post I don't have doubts about my inability to control my drinking.

Doubts which might have followed me had I gotten sober much younger. I know two members (15 plus years) that got sober at a young age who went out simply because they weren't sure if they were alcoholic. (They're both back now.)

MIRecovery

You may be misreading what they are saying. I am overjoyed when a young person comes into the rooms because they did not have to suffer for 30 years like I did. Also I have learned it is none of my business what others think of me. When I keep my side of the street clean that is the best any of us can do.

barefootjunker

The possibilities lost in not getting sober when I was exposed to AA 29 years ago, The old man that looks back at me in the mirror each day is not the person in my minds eye. The person there is the person I was 29 years ago.

To be young and coming into the program is a huge blessing with so much opportunity there for the taking. You have the choice before you that many of of old people might have had but made the wrong choice. If I had walked in before ever picking up a drink I would have fit in, I had all the defects just add alcohol to complete the package.

There is a certain amount of looking down on some of the young people. I see it and have experienced it as I go to a meeting geared for the younger people in the program every week. There are those I have asked to come along from my support group but none are willing as of yet to go. I know why, the meeting is predominately addicts, and drugs are discussed a lot. I enjoy the meeting as I hope I can help someone there with what I have gone through, as I am one of the people that has gone to prison, lost everything and everyone in my life, I have been where some of these young people are headed if they decide to use again.

SoberCAH

I got sober when I was 31 years old.

I felt old, because of the wear and tear I was putting on my central nervous system and the rest of my body.

Once my mind and body started healing, I felt like a young man again.

I see a lot of grey hair looking back in the mirror these days.

People who get sober young are extra-blessed.

Stay with it, amigo.

Db1105

I got sober when I was 17. I doubt that I would of survived to be an old alcoholic unless I would of cotton a long jail sentence. For every one person who made a comment about my age, there were 50 more that just treated me as another recovering alcoholic. Avoid sponsor, working the 12 steps and helping others taught me to be able to take those lucky to be sober at a young age comments with a grain of salt. I was there to save my life, not because of luck. This Thursday I will be celebrating 37 years. Life is good.

DayTrader

I was 38 when I got sober so I never had any "you're lucky you're so young" comments directed at me but I did watch the faces of the younger members when someone would make that type of comment and it was never a positive reaction........so I'm careful to never say anything like that myself.

I have thought it though.....just kept it to myself because I understand the likely and potential negative reaction saying it would probably cause. I've thought it because I find the decision (and sure, it's one that most of us feel we were forced in one way or another to make) to sober up requires a lot of maturity. It takes a lot of maturity to give up something we like (drinking) in favor of something we won't like (at first), NOT drinking........because there's a vitally important long-term benefit that comes with quitting.

I was way too immature in my teens and twenties to give up almost anything that gave me immediate gratification......no matter how sound the logic behind giving it up was.