michaelg

I have all kinds of addiction issues. And it's difficult for me to separate them out when sharing at a particular meeting. But I am truly beginning to see the need for groups to be limited to their "primary purpose". Rather than trying to be all things to all people. An issue I've argued against for some time. But have come to understand the old timers wisdom on.

We are so fortunate to have a twelve step group for most every kind of destructive addiction out there. I just need to remember to have respect for the one I am in by sharing my experience, strength and hope as it relates to that particular manifestation of the underlying spiritual malady. Because not everyone is so fortunate to have or recognize multiple facets of this thing called addiction. And the newcomer, the true alcoholic, for example, needs to identify with their specific problem, during he meeting. Identify so they can fully buy into the solution. If they hear long discussions about drugs, sex, overeating or nicotine struggles, they will find separation from their circumstance and the groups dynamic. With separation, they will separate. This causes groups to splinter and eventually serve no one the recovery they need.

As with everything else in life, I need to choose my words carefully wherever I am. Using respect for whatever tradition and culture I find myself in. Rather than do the typical thing an alcoholic/addict like me might do and try and change my surroundings to suit my own desires.

Respect.

Boleo

That's what I do when I attend Al-Anon, ACOA or AFC meetings. My rule is:

When in Rome do as the Romans do.

Ken33xx

I recall a few years a back a woman from a 12-step program regarding food asked if she could share. She was told yes and went on about eating an entire cake or pizza or something like that the pervious night.

It was weird because while she was obviously as distraught as any AA member who had slipped I couldn't identify with her.

But then I've never had an issue with over-eating.

michaelg

And I can see making an exception perhaps for someone in dire straits that couldn't get to their own type of meeting. The problem with my AA home group is that it has become half drug addicts shipped in several times a day from a treatment center. All female and a good bit of them young. No respect for where they are. And it has chased off the real alcoholic old timers. I was all for letting them come in and share. Until I saw it destroy my group. We brought it upon ourselves though.

Boleo

Alcoholics Anonymous : Problems Other Than Alcohol

Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

markz

There is an AA brochure on this. I am too lazy to google it. States it in a matter of fact way, and I like it. You can search for it on here too.

RedCasey

I guess I see it from a different perspective. I was one of those people "shipped in" to a group by a treatment center. The message stuck and 2 months after getting out of treatment I moved 300 miles and made it my home group. I now have several service commitments there and also take guys through the steps at the treatment center I came through. It has been a major blessing that the group that I was "shipped in" to welcomed me like family.

RedCasey

Last month when our AA group celebrated sobriety birthdays someone brought a plate of cupcakes which prompted an angry diatribe by an overzealous Overeaters Anonymous. As an alcoholic I was amused because even though alcohol ruined my life I still don't hate alcohol itself 1/10th of the amount that lady hated cupcakes.

On a more serious note that is why I try to focus on the solution when sharing in meetings. In my opinion everyone can relate to the solution no matter what their addiction is. Why would I want to hold onto something bad until the next meeting when I could 10th step it over the phone (or more often text) with another alcoholic/addict or talk to my sponsor about it?

I would rather hear someone with a different addiction than my own talk about the solution than hear someone with my same addiction complaining about their pet dying / their probation officer / their kids etc etc

dblightstream

I believe that in the 12 by 12 they state that the reason for this tradition came about through long, hard experience that separated the fellowship and confused the public, and I do know that it is also a reason why AA and the Oxford Group split up. Believe it or not, the Oxford Group is still around, though it is now called Initiatives for Change, and I am a member of it. But in the early days of AA, the Oxford Group was into changing everything about the person; in fact, their first step was really the fourth step. Bill Wilson believed instead that there should be a priority on fixing the worst things first, and then growing from there. But as all the first pioneers of AA were also Oxford Group members, they also had different perspectives on that issue, and some went into educating the larger community on alcoholism, which then made some people wonder if this new thing of AA was an educational group then? Some members were very much more Christian oriented, so people in the community questioned if this new thing called AA was therefore a religious thing? Some wondered if, since AA does help fix all of life, if that meant it was a lifestyle promoter? Etc. So, they gave up trying to be everything for everyone and focused on what they could do effectively: help people recover from active alcoholism. I think it was the right thing to do.

dsmaxis10

I'd say the meetings around were I live are half addicts how can they sponsor an alcoholic.

MIRecovery

I can make a lot of good arguments for both sides of the question and they all would be right. I think I'll turn it over to God what people he brings into my path and the message they deliver.

Tommyh

in AA meetings we do have a primary purpose
but since AA is a way of life,I see we can carry the spiritual message outside of AA meetings to anyone interested,and it is my job to do that.If they are willing,I am too


"God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!"

there is one line in this 3rd step prayer that sums it up

Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life

Tamerua

I'm guessing it is harder because we don't ever have to drink again. But you can't just stop eating. Although, if she was an AA meeting, she should have adjusted her expectations.

There is a guy in my home group who is also a part of OA and I love when he shares. He doesn't talk about alcohol OR food. He talks about how he uses things outside of himself to ease the feelings of discomfort he gets when left alone with his feelings and thoughts. It's absolutely brilliant and I am always happy when I see him at meetings because his shares always touch something inside me.

miamifella

I do not know if you have ever heard many shares in a meetings about slipping, but there is a reason it is discouraged. Even if you are addicted to the same thing as the person sharing, when they talk too much about the details, it tends to take you away.

While I can be critical about the strict emphasis on strength and hope in meetings, I think this is part of the reason for that emphasis. We all have the positives in common but the negatives (what triggers us, what and how we drink, use, eat, etc) as very specific and not shared in common with the whole group.

natsume

My first sponsor's primary addiction was not alcohol.

Some of the most meaningful meetings (to me) I attend these days are Buddhist 12-step, where we share solutions regardless of ism/addiction.

I identify with human beings trying to live better lives, usually as a result of working a spiritual program based on the 12-steps. Once people are living on the path of sobriety, it doesn't matter what brought them to the path. (To me.)

CousinA

I'm another who came in through treatment. I was picked up off a park bench and spent seven weeks in a rehab. They gave me a toothbrush and a Big Book; two things I desperately needed. They also brought in AA and NA meetings where I gained that first spark of maybe there's another way. From there it was a halfway house where it was mandatory to attend meetings and get a sponsor who took me through the steps and taught me about being of service in and out of the rooms.

It was because of the real alcoholic old timers who stayed that I'm alive to be one today. It's the reason I stay.

Merry Christmas and all that.

-allan

markz

AA is for alcoholics. Simple!