barefootjunker

Yesterday someone I know, that knows I go to AA invited me to a bar to meet with them... I was tempted, more then tempted, I wanted to go have some wings (wing night to boot) and spend time with someone I know well.

I guess this is a testament to the seriousness of my sobriety to me as I had to say no, that at this time a bar is not where I need to be. They begged basically, and again it was easy to tell them that I am not comfortable with going to a bar, but if they wanted to meet elsewhere I would be there whenever they wanted me to be there.

I kinda felt bad about it, so hit an early discussion meeting, then went to a lead meeting and heard a lead from a lady in her 80's that talked about many amazing things she had lived through in her life. I really got a lot from her story and am grateful I was there to hear it.

I guess I keep seeing the nature of old friends, or those i considered friends. If it were not for alcohol we would never have met, and there would not be a connection at all. I'm not comfortable meeting at a bar, I guess they are not comfortable not meeting at a bar.

tomsteve

Good on ya!!!
I'm thinkin the reaction to sayin yer willing to meet somewhere else said something.

IOAA2

Hi.
It’s interesting that I have not had a desire to drink for many years but feel uncomfortable going to a local bar to pick up a pizza take out.
I feel comfortable being in a restaurant having a meal while my wife has A glass of wine, though wonder what’s wrong when she doesn’t finish it!
BE WELL

WMJ1012

You had the courage to be yourself and in doing so you protected your sobriety

Barefootjunker
I always thought I had to give more of myself than I had to, give away pieces of myself to make others happy
I only need to make the Higher Power happy

My best drinking buddy, I really loved her she was like a sister
She was so upset when I got sober, she probably felt abandoned I realize now, she's an Adult Child just like me
She would get into my apt bldg and bang on my door and yell for me
It was so hard for me not to answer that door

Abt 5 y later when I was on more stable ground she came into AA
She really tried
I would go to meetings with her
But she had crossed over into heroin by that time
And had a lot going on at home

She could not or would not see our way of life

Shes in the women's state penitentiary now

I had a dream about her last year
God put her into my heart to tell me she needed me
I didn't know her mother had just died

We never know how we can be used later if we let go and follow our own program

Boleo

Today I try not to make as many decisions on the fly so to speak. When ever the situation calls for making a rational judgement, I pause and ask myself if there is a principle or boundary involved.

If so, I try to plug that principle into the equation and make the decision for me. In the case of going out somewhere or with someone that might involve being surrounded by alcohol - I try and use the same boundaries that I set in place a long time ago.

I only go when I have a ligitimate and unselfish reason to be there.

24hrsAday

^ as the book says to do. there is indeed some good advice in that old thing.. even all these years later.

as for Barefootjunker's decision to NOT go meet an old friend at a bar.. all i can say is:

Fly N Buy

Good choice!

I am the same way as of now - almost 6 months, but with one exception to watch a FB game with a normie friend at a Buffalo Wild Wings I have stayed out of harms way. Pubs/Taverns I do not have a desire to go back to but, the book tells us.....

Assuming we are SPIRITUALLY fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.

That said, there is a time element and growth necessary for me.....not there YET! But, in general - the bar buddies were just that. Had only one thing in common mostly. I am certain their party is still going on as they reflect - I wonder where Fly Is? Seems like he hasn't bought a round in while?!?!

Those gentle, old amazing souls we meet in the rooms is what makes the program - I agree

FlyN