How many meetings?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 462
How many meetings?
I am just about 5 months sober and went to a lot of meetings in my first 90 days. Prob around 5 a week now I have found a home group and for the past two months(since I started back to work) I have only been going to one meeting a week. I was talking about how I've been struggling a little more in the past month due to the weather change. One member told me I need to be attending at least three meetings a week. I'm kind of overwhelmed my this because I have two young kids, a husband, workout before work at. 7, pick them up, and then my boys and husband have some activities . I have sat and sun I could go to meetings. How many meetings seems appropriate to you I. My length of sobriety? I'm working with a sponsor and have been working on the steps.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,910
I know it's hard, but maybe concentrate more on working the steps than the number of meetings you attend. Meetings are great, but the program of AA is working the steps. Continue working the steps and attend as many meetings as you feasibly can. Don't overtax yourself or you'll burn out. The most important thing is to work the steps diligently.
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
depends on your motivation/reason for attending the meetings. You can call people to get a network of sober people, you can commit to a specific number of meetings, or just wait until you work through more steps. It's by giving back freely that which we have freely been given, by helping another stay stopped..... not about the number of meetings.....
hugs to you. get to step 8....
hugs to you. get to step 8....
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
when i was in my early 20s i went to aa and fell in love with it there was not as many meetings around back then but i attended at least 4 a week
however after a few years i headed off in other directions as i was sober now so didnt feel i needed meetings as much plus i was working so had little time what with working and my family to look after
so i cut my meetings down to doing just 1 meeting a week, soon enough i couldnt be bothered going to that one meeting a week and then i cut out aa altogether
can you guess what happend next ?
well its took me 15 years but i picked up the drink again and boy did i make up for lost time
after an 8 year battle with the drink which i lost, i managed to lose my 2 youngest kids to social workers care my ex wife had gone off with another drunk, i lost my home and my business and ended up with nothing and no one
when i finaly ended up back in the rooms of aa i was a washed up drunk with nothing and i was lucky to have my flat that stunk like a rotten toilet soaked with rotton pee etc
how did i end up like this when i had so much ?
simple i gave up on aa and thought i didnt need it anymore
today i have my kids back and got them back after a year of being in aa it totaly changed my life around and i will never again put my kids at risk of me drinking again although there older now they went through hell when they were small being in care
i never thought my drinking would end up as bad as it did, not me i was different from the drunken bums who drank everyday, yet i found out to my own cost i am one of them
so how much value do you put on being sober ? the problem was for me by cutting the meetings out i forgot all about what an alcoholic is, 15 years without a meeting is plenty of time for me to forget the horrors of how i was like
i see it time and time again in aa people cut there meetings down to 1 meeting a week and its not long after they just give up with it all
the next time we see them if they are lucky is back again with yet another lot of trouble there in because they picked up the drink again
i try to warn them but they simply dont want to hear so what can you do ? let them go and find out for themselves and just be there for if they ever come back
however after a few years i headed off in other directions as i was sober now so didnt feel i needed meetings as much plus i was working so had little time what with working and my family to look after
so i cut my meetings down to doing just 1 meeting a week, soon enough i couldnt be bothered going to that one meeting a week and then i cut out aa altogether
can you guess what happend next ?
well its took me 15 years but i picked up the drink again and boy did i make up for lost time
after an 8 year battle with the drink which i lost, i managed to lose my 2 youngest kids to social workers care my ex wife had gone off with another drunk, i lost my home and my business and ended up with nothing and no one
when i finaly ended up back in the rooms of aa i was a washed up drunk with nothing and i was lucky to have my flat that stunk like a rotten toilet soaked with rotton pee etc
how did i end up like this when i had so much ?
simple i gave up on aa and thought i didnt need it anymore
today i have my kids back and got them back after a year of being in aa it totaly changed my life around and i will never again put my kids at risk of me drinking again although there older now they went through hell when they were small being in care
i never thought my drinking would end up as bad as it did, not me i was different from the drunken bums who drank everyday, yet i found out to my own cost i am one of them
so how much value do you put on being sober ? the problem was for me by cutting the meetings out i forgot all about what an alcoholic is, 15 years without a meeting is plenty of time for me to forget the horrors of how i was like
i see it time and time again in aa people cut there meetings down to 1 meeting a week and its not long after they just give up with it all
the next time we see them if they are lucky is back again with yet another lot of trouble there in because they picked up the drink again
i try to warn them but they simply dont want to hear so what can you do ? let them go and find out for themselves and just be there for if they ever come back
paradox
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: UK
Posts: 665
Before sharing my own experience, I have to ask: What does your sponsor think about the number of meetings that you attend?
When I was 5 months sober I was also working the steps with a sponsor.
I was also the primary carer for our two young kids.
I went to 3 - 4 meetings a week for several years.
Having said that, I was not in paid employment for a couple of years after putting down the drink with the help of AA.
So, I found it easier, perhaps, to juggle my meeting attendance with childcare commitments.
Now I am at work 35 hours a week.
I'm up at 5 to walk the dogs.
I'm still the primary carer for our two teenagers.
I go to 1 - 2 meetings a week.
If one meeting is all you can do, well, what can I say?
But if you are able to do more . . .
Why not do more?
It's your recovery.
One thing that I believe to be important is service commitment.
If you are only going to one meeting, volunteer for a service position.
This will help guard against complacency and the dropping of meetings altogether.
The consequences of that can be dire; as desypete rightly warns us.
If I didn't have a service commitment, there would have been weeks when I didn't get to any meetings.
I have seen it in others and can see it possibly happening to me.
The graph of diminishing meeting attendance is indeed a slippery slope.
When I was 5 months sober I was also working the steps with a sponsor.
I was also the primary carer for our two young kids.
I went to 3 - 4 meetings a week for several years.
Having said that, I was not in paid employment for a couple of years after putting down the drink with the help of AA.
So, I found it easier, perhaps, to juggle my meeting attendance with childcare commitments.
Now I am at work 35 hours a week.
I'm up at 5 to walk the dogs.
I'm still the primary carer for our two teenagers.
I go to 1 - 2 meetings a week.
If one meeting is all you can do, well, what can I say?
But if you are able to do more . . .
Why not do more?
It's your recovery.
One thing that I believe to be important is service commitment.
If you are only going to one meeting, volunteer for a service position.
This will help guard against complacency and the dropping of meetings altogether.
The consequences of that can be dire; as desypete rightly warns us.
If I didn't have a service commitment, there would have been weeks when I didn't get to any meetings.
I have seen it in others and can see it possibly happening to me.
The graph of diminishing meeting attendance is indeed a slippery slope.
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
It is your recovery Hereandnow.Nobody can tell you what you should be doing,only tell you what works for them.
It is the 12step programme that is most important.There are members of AA all over the world who can't get to 1 meeting a week,let alone 3.They stay sober.
Wishing you well.
It is the 12step programme that is most important.There are members of AA all over the world who can't get to 1 meeting a week,let alone 3.They stay sober.
Wishing you well.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
I've watched people who attend 7 meetings/week comeback after drinking. I see people go to 5 meetings/wk keep comin back sayin they drank again.
Due to circumstances I went about 6 months without a meeting yet didnt drink. I know a man that goes to 1 meeting a month and has been sober a very long time.
Going to meetings and not drinking doesn't threat alcoholism.
What I'm wondering is what sort of struggle the weather change is causing- physical or mental.
If ya feel ya need more meetings, then go. But I'd suggest talkin to uer sponsor on this.
Due to circumstances I went about 6 months without a meeting yet didnt drink. I know a man that goes to 1 meeting a month and has been sober a very long time.
Going to meetings and not drinking doesn't threat alcoholism.
What I'm wondering is what sort of struggle the weather change is causing- physical or mental.
If ya feel ya need more meetings, then go. But I'd suggest talkin to uer sponsor on this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 158
There is no set number of meetings that is recommended or optimal for AA members to attend. The main consideration involves how much of a commitment you make to pursue a program of sobriety and recovery. Seems to me you've shown a good commitment by attending about 60-65 meetings in your first 90 days, a crucial period. That's a fine start.
Now, your circumstances have changed and you're going to fewer meetings But working on the steps with a sponsor. Which seems pretty reasonable. You are positioned for success in recovery. But be forewarned: New folks in AA sometimes begin slipping away from the AA program. And an indicator of this slipping away is reduced meeting attendance, going down, eventually to zero. Very common.
How many meetings should you go to? "Enough," as part of a substantial and honest program of sobriety and recovery.
Me, I attended about 70 meetings in my first 90 days, many years ago. Since then, I have gone through periods of 10-12 meetings to about 1 meeting weekly. I currently go to 3-4 meetings a week.
You might note that, according to AA, members attend an average of 2.6 meetings a week.
Now, your circumstances have changed and you're going to fewer meetings But working on the steps with a sponsor. Which seems pretty reasonable. You are positioned for success in recovery. But be forewarned: New folks in AA sometimes begin slipping away from the AA program. And an indicator of this slipping away is reduced meeting attendance, going down, eventually to zero. Very common.
How many meetings should you go to? "Enough," as part of a substantial and honest program of sobriety and recovery.
Me, I attended about 70 meetings in my first 90 days, many years ago. Since then, I have gone through periods of 10-12 meetings to about 1 meeting weekly. I currently go to 3-4 meetings a week.
You might note that, according to AA, members attend an average of 2.6 meetings a week.
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
early on in my sobriety,I felt like I needed 2 meetings a week,so I went to 5,I didn`t want to miss those 2 meetings I needed.
I make 3 a week now,with commitments in 2 of them.I work around 70 hours a week,I wish I had time to make more meetings.
if you can make more than one,make them.I have found the steps seem to work better when I make meetings to go with them.
I make 3 a week now,with commitments in 2 of them.I work around 70 hours a week,I wish I had time to make more meetings.
if you can make more than one,make them.I have found the steps seem to work better when I make meetings to go with them.
A Day at a Time
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
I had someone tell me to keep cutting back on meetings until I drank. Then I would know how many I needed.
It does seem that a lot of people, with a lot of sobriety, still go to a lot of meetings
It does seem that a lot of people, with a lot of sobriety, still go to a lot of meetings
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 462
You all are so amazing! I can't tell you what your responses meant to me! I have taken careful consideration to what all of you had said! I just switched sponsors bc I don't get to see my sponsor very much although I talk to her often. My new sponsor I will see each week. I will be going to more meetings for sure . A lot of it is guilt for leaving my kids and missing time w my husband when kids are in bed. I'm working on amends now and do have a job aty home group. I love aa it has changed my life so significantly. I feel lucky to be a part of it. I will carve out time on sat or Sunday. My sponsor believes I should go to more meetings too!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
Posts: 3,697
Hi.
I can say the more meetings the better. Then I can say meetings are where we find out what happens to people who stop going to meetings.
Meetings are a good place to learn about sobriety and practicing the steps are how we stay sober. It is work and involves change but it is all worth it for the long run.
BE WELL
I can say the more meetings the better. Then I can say meetings are where we find out what happens to people who stop going to meetings.
Meetings are a good place to learn about sobriety and practicing the steps are how we stay sober. It is work and involves change but it is all worth it for the long run.
BE WELL
Guest
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 1,476
I get all sorts of advice from well meaning folk in AA about "more meetings "
I just smile and nod and say "yeah ok, thanks"
My sponsor knows I have a wife and 4 children aged 11 - 3
We agreed on day two, that I would get to the 2 meetings a week that my home group has, Wednesday night and Sunday night.
Any others are "bonus" meetings.
90 in 90 and meetings meetings meetings....... Are fine for those with no kids, no partner or a very understanding partner.
Not great advice for those of us, like us, hereandnow2
The AA pioneers believed very strongly in living amends to those closest to us. Be there for your family and keep up with the step work.
God bless
I just smile and nod and say "yeah ok, thanks"
My sponsor knows I have a wife and 4 children aged 11 - 3
We agreed on day two, that I would get to the 2 meetings a week that my home group has, Wednesday night and Sunday night.
Any others are "bonus" meetings.
90 in 90 and meetings meetings meetings....... Are fine for those with no kids, no partner or a very understanding partner.
Not great advice for those of us, like us, hereandnow2
The AA pioneers believed very strongly in living amends to those closest to us. Be there for your family and keep up with the step work.
God bless
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
For me, I went to any lengths to drink.
It was suggested to me early on that if
I went to any lengths to drink then I should
go to any lengths to stay sober which for
me including going to meetings.
I had all reasons for drinking, all seasons,
occasions, whatever it was, so I went to
meetings for all those reasons instead
of drinking.
Id go to so many meetings till I enjoyed
going for yrs.
It was suggested to me early on that if
I went to any lengths to drink then I should
go to any lengths to stay sober which for
me including going to meetings.
I had all reasons for drinking, all seasons,
occasions, whatever it was, so I went to
meetings for all those reasons instead
of drinking.
Id go to so many meetings till I enjoyed
going for yrs.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
In that first year of sobriety, I attended a lot of meetings. Besides what has already been said about the 12 Steps being the program of recovery (there haven't been enough meetings since the inception of AA to produce that vital psychic change), it was incredible beneficial to have a home group and commit to certain meetings. To this day, I show up for my home group meetings unless there is a family/school/work function that conflicts. That's proven way more valuable than total number of meetings.
as a sober contributor
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: California
Posts: 1,312
HAN2, you are getting a lot of great advice here. Ultimately, you need to decide for yourself how many meetings you can and need to attend while still being able to take care of your family obligations. At my fellowship, some folks bring there kids with them.
In my case, I considered how often I got drunk as a hint to how many meetings I should attend. Since I got hammered EVERY day, I try to attend a meeting each day. Fortunately, my fellowship has meetings at 6am, noon, 6pm and 8pm EVERY day. I also attend the chat meetings here at SR when I can.
Just remember that your sobriety is also key to being able to fulfill your family obligations.
It works if you work it!
Good Luck!
In my case, I considered how often I got drunk as a hint to how many meetings I should attend. Since I got hammered EVERY day, I try to attend a meeting each day. Fortunately, my fellowship has meetings at 6am, noon, 6pm and 8pm EVERY day. I also attend the chat meetings here at SR when I can.
Just remember that your sobriety is also key to being able to fulfill your family obligations.
It works if you work it!
Good Luck!
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
I've watched people who attend 7 meetings/week comeback after drinking. I see people go to 5 meetings/wk keep comin back sayin they drank again.
Due to circumstances I went about 6 months without a meeting yet didnt drink. I know a man that goes to 1 meeting a month and has been sober a very long time.
Going to meetings and not drinking doesn't threat alcoholism.
What I'm wondering is what sort of struggle the weather change is causing- physical or mental.
If ya feel ya need more meetings, then go. But I'd suggest talkin to uer sponsor on this.
Due to circumstances I went about 6 months without a meeting yet didnt drink. I know a man that goes to 1 meeting a month and has been sober a very long time.
Going to meetings and not drinking doesn't threat alcoholism.
What I'm wondering is what sort of struggle the weather change is causing- physical or mental.
If ya feel ya need more meetings, then go. But I'd suggest talkin to uer sponsor on this.
i went 15 years sober without a meeting but it got me in the end, today i value aa more than anything in the world as thats the place that got me sober and keeps me sober nothing else for me worked
the day i walked into an aa room was the day my life started to change, i got everything i lost back by going to aa and i keep it by still being apart of aa
like i say for different people who come in with a lot more they will not need aa the way i did
when you have no one left at all in life its the lonelyest place in the world to be
if i had a wife and kids at home waiting for me after a meeting i dont think i would take this illness as serious as i do today either to be honest
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