Armageddon!
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
OK so I must mention first that I am neither a real AA member or someone who has done the program in the "prescribed" way nor a person with faith. But at the same time I've been a spiritual seeker especially in my younger years. And obviously an alkie in recovery, not too far into the journey yet (8 months).
When I was young, I often had these fantasies that I would love to see the "end of the world" (whatever that would be) and would not mind being the last human on Earth, I could survive on my own if there were otherwise appropriate supplies for my basic needs. I also often wondered whether I would develop a deeper and genuine sense of connection with a HP of some sort... Had these ideas that I wanted to leave the kind of life I was born into and become a Buddhist nun, living in solitude... things like that. This was all before drinking presented any sort of problem in my life.
Then I got to know myself better and realized the above ideas were complete delusion. I sometimes still admire the people who go and live in the wilderness, build their own cabins, and live a peaceful self-sufficient life in nature with animals, the elements, and their own thoughts. But I am almost 100% certain I could never do that and that I would most likely not survive in isolation without human contact very long (presumed there were also no others on internet etc). Of course there is no way of knowing, but I have a feeling that in such a condition drinking would not even be a temptation for me. I used it mostly as an escape from the normal human life and expectations when I drank, an escape into my mental world. But I still wanted to share that mental world, always. I don't quite see why I would desire it if there was nothing to escape from? Sure, the misery of being alone... But I just feel that my instinct and need to find others (even if it was a hopeless and futile exercise) would be stronger. Of course, there is no way of knowing, this is just an intuition, but I know for sure that I really need human connection to have a life that I accept even at basic levels. I think I'm far from the "ideal" of non-attachment or pure spiritual connection.
When I was young, I often had these fantasies that I would love to see the "end of the world" (whatever that would be) and would not mind being the last human on Earth, I could survive on my own if there were otherwise appropriate supplies for my basic needs. I also often wondered whether I would develop a deeper and genuine sense of connection with a HP of some sort... Had these ideas that I wanted to leave the kind of life I was born into and become a Buddhist nun, living in solitude... things like that. This was all before drinking presented any sort of problem in my life.
Then I got to know myself better and realized the above ideas were complete delusion. I sometimes still admire the people who go and live in the wilderness, build their own cabins, and live a peaceful self-sufficient life in nature with animals, the elements, and their own thoughts. But I am almost 100% certain I could never do that and that I would most likely not survive in isolation without human contact very long (presumed there were also no others on internet etc). Of course there is no way of knowing, but I have a feeling that in such a condition drinking would not even be a temptation for me. I used it mostly as an escape from the normal human life and expectations when I drank, an escape into my mental world. But I still wanted to share that mental world, always. I don't quite see why I would desire it if there was nothing to escape from? Sure, the misery of being alone... But I just feel that my instinct and need to find others (even if it was a hopeless and futile exercise) would be stronger. Of course, there is no way of knowing, this is just an intuition, but I know for sure that I really need human connection to have a life that I accept even at basic levels. I think I'm far from the "ideal" of non-attachment or pure spiritual connection.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
Haennie, I think most humans need human contact. I'm sure if I were the last person on earth it would be maddening. Could I physically survive without going mad? Doubt it.
Anyway, this was a great philosophical question I think. Even for non-addicts. Rearranges what it means to be human, when society is wiped out. Or at least isolates the human consciousness factor, that we're the human animals aware of our own demise. What meaning would we then find in life, with no one left to share it with? Like I said, I'd hang out with the cats and dogs to stay sane for a while.
Anyway, this was a great philosophical question I think. Even for non-addicts. Rearranges what it means to be human, when society is wiped out. Or at least isolates the human consciousness factor, that we're the human animals aware of our own demise. What meaning would we then find in life, with no one left to share it with? Like I said, I'd hang out with the cats and dogs to stay sane for a while.
It's the memory of the hell I put myself through in the past that keeps me sober. I'm not an AA member either - but I do remember that I lose all control when I take a sip. If I was alone on Earth I'd need my wits about me & couldn't risk getting wasted.
I would dearly miss SR though!
I would dearly miss SR though!
Anyone else thinking of this Twilight Zone episode? All the booze I want and no desire to drink it.
Time Enough at Last - YouTube
Time Enough at Last - YouTube
It`s ok to stay sober
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
if I was in the OP situation,I would start a meeting.
One in the morning and one in the evening.
I would sit there for a hour each meeting
If nessacery,spend those hours in prayer or grateful meditation
that would be the best I could do
One in the morning and one in the evening.
I would sit there for a hour each meeting
If nessacery,spend those hours in prayer or grateful meditation
that would be the best I could do
A better and more meaningful question, with more specificity in it, is this one: Can a person stay sober without a conscious contact with a power of their understanding? What if one feels abandoned and forsaken? Is that enough reason to get hammered? Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart has turned to wax; it has melted away within me. My strength is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; you have lain me in the dust of death. What then?
This is where sobriety really counts, the ultimate test. There is really only one answer. Timshel. How can you battle zombies hungover and drunk?
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