When to Sponsor

[1Marty]

I have almost 5 months sober. I have worked steps 1 through 8. And I'm finishing ammends for step 9 also. My sponsor is tellling me that its time to start thinking about sponsoring soon. I don't feel ready at all! I always thought that You should have maybe at least a year of sobriety. I do try to talk to newcomers and be friendly. But sponsoring? Not sure about that yet. Anybody want to share their experience, or opinions on this? Thanks! :surprised

[Mogqua]

I was taught that the requirements for sponsoring another is that you have a sponsor (which you do) and that you have a WORKING Knowledge of the Steps AND Traditions. Since you were told to think about it (as opposed to doing it immediately) then you may want to look at the Traditions to study while you continue your maintainance Steps (10, 11, 12).

Since you have done your work with your sponsor, I'm sure he probably knows if you are ready and you get to explore even more trust you have in your relationship with your sponsor.

If you are ready and have learned to not turn down an AA request then sponsor the next person that asks you.
If you feel you are not ready then tell them so, but that you are willing to try.

Let them know "its your 'first time', so don't be gentle!" - Ha ha!

Just a reminding note: Bill started "sponsoring" Bob when he had 6 Months and they learned much by mutual "sponsorship".

(And he didn't have a sponsor or Traditions!)

You don't want to miss this experience.

Be Well

[MootPoint]

Thanks Mogqua, I needed to hear that as well.

[1Marty]

Thanks Mogqua!! That was great. I also realze that I have some dishonest fear on my part.

[Rowan]

When I was much newer in sobriety, a lady asked me to be her sponsor. I thought it was too soon, that I didn't 'know' enough, and asked my addictions counsellor what to do. Quite simply he said, 'People don't want to know how much you know, they want to know how much you care'. One alcoholic helping another. And that quelled my fears. Well, not entirely, but it sure helped!! Good luck to you !

[Music]

The most important part of being a good sponsor is being able to listen. You can do that Marty. From then on, it's sharing what I have to share. I can't share what I don't have. I also have a sponsor who is there for help and support so it's not like it's all on me. Most importantly, I'm sponsoring so I can stay sober not to sober up anyone else. All I can do is carry the message from then on, it's up to the other person to do their part.

Like was said above: Don't miss the opportunity.....to stay sober. The secret to staying sober is to be "willing" to do anything, anytime. Now I admit, I can't always do anything anytime but the emphasis is on being "willing."

[1Marty]

Thanks Music, and Rowan. You are both very helpful to me. I do want to share my ESH with newcomers. I do want to be helpfull. My self centered fear of people and social situations has improved, but is improving very slowly, not fast. I do want to someday, when I feel comfortable, have a sponsee. I just am a little resentful at my sponsor lately for pushing it so hard onto me. Saying I have to up my meetings to increase the chances of finding someone. What happened to "easy does it"?