Greedy

The reason I ask that question is because i'm not just a drinker. I spent a lot of years thinking I was alcoholic, and have some past experience with AA, 2 years sobriety there,all kinds of commitments at meetings, taken the steps, the whole routine.

From being 16 years old I drank alcoholically. Quite honestly I used any mind altering substance i could get my hands on except, thankfully, the hardest of drugs. Alcohol was always cheap and easily available so I think i kinda became an alcoholic by default.

Anyway, my longest stretch of sobriety ended when I started suffering with severe back pain. The Dr prescribed me an opiate based painkiller which I still recieve now. Here's the thing, I get a 2 week course of pain meds at a time, I abuse them and finish the course in 6-8 days, at the end of this period I buy alcohol every day until I can get another prescription. I cant drink while on the meds, but ive no desire to anyway. I look forward to the meds because, well, i enjoy the euphoria but also because i know i wont have to rely on alcohol.

I prefer the pain medication to alcohol but cant bare sobriety for any length of time.

Ive had enough, Ive been going through the same cycle for about a year or so now and my periods of drinking between the meds are getting heavier. Starting to take a drink in the mornings now, when my partner leaves for work, sleeping it off and then drinking again in the evening. Im familiar with this pattern, been here before.

Im not comfortable going to NA.

Im also worried that im gonna go back to AA and see the same people talking the same **** (no offense to anyone).

mfanch

NA in my town is is not that great. No women here, really. There is plenty of AA here, though. So I went . My DOC was fentanyl but I would drink if I couldn't have it. My AA sponsor is actually a crackhead, so there's that.

The same people talking the same **** would be comforting to me. It means that AA works when we work it. I'm thankful for that. When I am disturbed, the problem is in the mirror.

As an aside: I am sponsoring a newcomer who had 11 years in AA, then had back surgery. She got hooked on the pain meds and then back to drinking. She was out for 7 years. She just picked up 90 days and her life is so different already. She is working with her pain doc, her sponsor, her HP, and the BB.

Are you ready to quit drinking and make a decision? If not AA, maybe you need to look at other methods and make a PLAN and follow the PLAN.

Glad you are here.

MIRecovery

The same **** is what keeps me sober so maybe it is not ****. Just a thought

Greedy

Yeah, I hear ya. I've always found the BB fascinating. I've no doubt that the steps work, i've no doubt that they lead to a spiritual awakening.

I'm fortunate enough to live in a city where there is a meet every day. On the other hand the city is small enough so that, in the past, its always been largely the same group of people at every meeting and from past experience only about half of AA members have any interest in the program and the other half......uhm...well, now i think about it, it's unlikely the other half will still be around..I guess that answers my concern.

MIRecovery

The question is, which half are you in?

jdooner

Why don't you try other programs? See how they work...I have found that AA tends to work best after all options have been exhausted.

Taking5

Alcohol IS the hardest of drugs. It has the toughest, most lethal withdrawals of any drug, including opiates. Alcohol withdrawal can kill you. Opiate withdrawal, while you may feel like you are dying, is rarely fatal. Alcohol is linked to more cases of assault, domestic violence and sexual abuse than any other drug. Ditto for car and machinery mishaps, falls, and other accidents. More people who are incarcerated were under the influence of alcohol that of any other substance. Finally alcohol is responsible for more deaths - from withdrawal, overdose (alcohol poisoning), or accidents - than any other drug. On deaths from long terms abuse, alcohol is surpassed only by that other legal drug, tobacco.

A part of all this is, no doubt, because alcohol is legal, but do not sell alcohol short - it is a terrible, destructive drug.

MIRecovery

This was true of me but I am a slow learner

tomsteve

good on ya for getting honest!!
do you belong in AA. welp, I think yer the only one that can answer that.
heres what im thinkin:
yer not comfortable goin to NA( which I think why would be a good question to answer)
you find the BB fascinating, which tells me you relate to what is in it and possibly like what the program has to offer.

theres gonna be people talkin crap in AA. im sure you've been to a bar and heard it. the same people at them bars are the same at a meeting. some have worked the program and aren't that way today( sometimes I can still listen to people and say,"no way you were like that!"). some have stopped drinking yet haven't done anything t change themselves. theres sick people in AA just as there are in every other organization and out in the world in general.
MIRecovery pointed out something very detrimental for me: which half did I want to be in?
did I want to be a dry drunk runnin around tellin everyone else what to do how they should act and how wrong they were and how right I was? in other words, still living in the disease?
or did I want to be a sober, sane member of society?


I chose sober sane member of society so I followed in the footsteps of others that had what I wanted.

NYCDoglvr

I see lots of folk who mainly used drugs in the rooms of AA. You're still an alcoholic after all.

Greedy

I figured I need to get my feet wet to find out. I'm on my way across town to my first meeting for a long time. I hope I don't draw too much attention, doesn't help with the anxiety but I know the folks there only have good intentions. I'll post later about how it went.

dSober

Find meetings and a sponsor you like and don't skimp on the maintenance steps, especially 11.

matt4x4

You got a problem, you need to seek medical treatment for your addictions.

feeling-good

I hope the meeting goes well for you

Greedy

Funnily enough the meeting I went to was a step 11 meeting with the 1st half being led meditation. I was even able to relax for a brief period of time.

I'm so glad I went. The variety of worse case scenarios that I had running through my head turned out to be nothing more than shadows. Just a handful of decent, down to earth people that were welcoming and not remotely over bearing. There was no 50 man reception party thrusting pens in my face, demanding my phone number or insisting I take theirs. Just easy going, good natured chatter with subtle hints about how they got sober.

I'm looking forward to my next meeting.

CaiHong

Hi Greedy,
Glad to hear you found a meeting that works for you. I have come to the conclusion that some meetings benefit me more than others, the ones that concentrate on the solution in the steps rather than the war stories and people just talking about themselves and their problems.
All the very best

CaiHong

desypete

hi greedy glad you found a good aa meeting to attend

try to find more of the laid back meetings to attend as there the meetings i find that dont have people in them that want to try to control etc

i wouldn't ever go to a solution type of meeting like the other poster mentioned as for me they seem to be more interested in controlling what people can say, how they say it and what they believe in
so unless your into that type of thing i would give them a wide birth and good luck to you

dSober

Pain management aside, not according to Jack McCarthy, and many other addicts.

Drunks | Jack McCarthy

DoubleBarrel

The only requirement for aa membership is a desire to quit drinking.

Aa has no opinion on outside issues.

Seems like you could go.

Music

If you have to ask the question in the first place, you probably have good reason to go to AA.