1drinktohell

Sometimes I can sit in an AA meeting and hear the craziest things, especially from alcoholics with long term sobriety; like

"just dont drink no matter what!"
"I never read the doctors opinion until a week ago"
"the steps , yea i dont do them that much"
"people are my higher power"

And there are other comments like this.

I'm very confused, and shocked when an alcoholic with long term sobriety would say things so contrary to the program and the disease of alcoholism.

I want to read the big book, the 12 and 12 and know what the exact problem and solution for alcoholism is. For me to have people as my higher power, I would probably be drunk. Why wouldn't someone read the doctor's opinion for 10 years, and not work the steps.

It confuses me.

Doesn't anyone have similar thoughts at AA meetings?

I am questioning these sayings and why these people would say them?

mfanch

I don't go to those meetings. I stick with the ones where they discuss the solution as suggested in "Alcoholics Anonymous". When I do find myself in a meeting like you describe, I make sure to share my experience, if nothing but to be of service.

1drinktohell

these meetings i go to have some really good sobriety in it, and some off the page. it's difficult to find solution meetings based on the big book. most use the 12 and 12

Tamerua

I have never heard that about reading the Drs opinion or not doing the steps.

As for the just don't drink no matter what (which is followed by 'and go to meetings and get a sponsor') and the HP, that I've heard. Not sure what is wrong with it. The whole point of the HP is that it is personal... No one else needs to get it if the person believes it. No?

Tamerua

I just read your post, we must have posted at the same time. Do you have a big book meeting?

1drinktohell

yes i go to big book meetings. My point was I hear people say "I just don't drink no matter what" which implies that they have a choice as to whether or not they can drink." it doesn't make sense. we have lost the power of choice.

Ken33xx

Maybe because that's the way they feel.

I prefer members share honestly about what's going as opposed to parroting what they've read in the BB.

As long as the share is related to alcoholism/recovery I'm good.

1drinktohell

My point is the member who says "people are my higher power" that makes no sense. No human power could have relieved our alcoholism.

My question was to the forum, is do you hear a lot of stuff in meetings that go against the disease of alcoholism or the big book

Ken33xx

Not really. It might not always be what I want to hear but it's their prerogative to share how they feel. And at the end of a meeting I like to think we're all on the same team.

FeenixxRising

Some AA members use the collective power of the group as their higher power i.e. Group of Drunks. As I assume you know, AA members may choose their own conception of God. IMO, the collective power of the group qualifies.

I would ask why you're concerned with what or whom others choose as their Higher Power? Especially since the ability to choose one's own conception of God is 1) a very significant part of the program and 2) arguably one of the reasons for the success and popularity of AA and the 12-Steps.

1drinktohell

i might be too judgemental

Tommyh

when I got sober,there wasn`t much mention of the dr`s opinion or those first 4 chapters in the big book in this area
People did pay a lot of attention to chapter 5 and 6
as a matter of fact,it got to the point the dr`s opinion and chapters 1-4 was called "the forgotten chapters or lost chapters " of the big book

I was 10 years sober and I realized I knew little about the illness of alcoholism because I stuck with steps 3 -12 so I went home and studied the big book.I still do today.

I have seen a change in AA since I got sober.
The change is big book fundamentalism.

afloatsober

Much is said at meetings that i don't gel with.
I was advised to take what i need and leave the rest.
The 'just don't drink no matter what' has served me well on days when life was raining hard,and that's about all i could focus on.
As for God. Very personal and each to their own i say.
Seems to me any concept serves us to start with provided we get rid of the idea that We are IT.
Basically i latch on to what is said by the people that have what i wan't.
Long term, solid and contented sobriety.
These are invariably those who have done the steps, apply the principles and spend time and effort in helping fellow sufferers.
G

GracieLou

This is the basic truth. Don't drink pretty much says it all. Whatever life throws at you, just don't drink, no matter what happens.

For many, myself included, when reading the BB it seems there are things in the book I never noticed before. I swear it, on the BB that it was not there the first or second time I read it. It happens. Sometimes it is because I was still in the early sobriety fog and I missed it, I did read it but it made no sense but now it does or I did read it and it made sense but now I see it differently.

So when someone says this, I assume they are kidding but not really kidding. To me it meant they have read it but got something entirely different from it the last time they read it.

This may have been a joke. The program is about working the steps and continuing to work them.

When I came into AA I had no HP. I put all my faith in the program and the people in it. For a while, they were my higher power. All the people in the meetings, collectively, were a power greater than myself and that is all that you need to believe. A power greater than just "I".

Some members with long term sobriety forget that there are newcomers. They say certain things that only a person in the program for a while would understand.

Have you tried a beginners meeting? This may help you understand the program more. Once you are around a bit the quotes, slogans and hints at humor make sense. In the start the can be confusing.

BTW, I love your name. It is the truth. That first one is a choice, after that first, we have no choice. I was taken away. It is the first drink that gets me drunk!

tomsteve

when I was drinking I lost the power of choice. the program gave me the power of choice back.

step 1: we admitted we were powerless over alcohol...

"we" being those that have recovered from the hopeless state of body and mind.
"were"- past tense. "we" found a power greater than ourselves that can solve the drink problem ( one that has all power)and give the choice back, hence no longer powerless, but its only the 1st one theres power of choice over.

if I didn't get that power back, I wouldn't be sober. any time I walk by alcohol in the grocery store, id be pickin it up and getting drunk.

totfit

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. At least the folks that say some of those things are being honest. AA is a good program for many. Everyone though does it a little bit different. No one does things perfectly the same. Do what works for you and let others do their own. If others can't be your higher power then what is?

tomsteve

I was at a meeting about 2 months ago and a man was sharing about his sponsor tellin him,"no, its you are still powerless." and he agreed.
a man with many years of sobriety, said, "well, if you are still powerless and I slapped a bottle down on the table in front of you, would you drink it?"
man said,"no."
"but if you are still powerless you would drink it."

I hear it. it happens. I can do what old joe did to me that made me think:
"tom, I heard what ya said at the meeting, but thats not what my big book says. can ya point me to where it is in your big book? or maybe I have a different version."

or I can let it go.

desypete

when you get to the length of sobriety these people get to, or have suffered in sobriety like many of these have and yet they come through it, then question them but until you do then just stick to what you believe in,as its what they do they stick to what they believe in and it works for them.

so be happy for them that it works and dont fall into the trap of thinking your way is the only way or that your way is the right way as it will eat you up in the end

Boleo

If you look at how the stories in the back of the Big Book are grouped, you will find a section titled "They Stopped in Time". You can interpret that to mean "They stopped before they lost everything" or you can interpret that to mean "They stopped before they lost the power of choice".

Meetings are full of a diverse group of people thanks to tradition 3. The messages that you hear are going to be diverse as well. Some members got a 900 lb Gorilla on their back. Other members just got an 9 oz organ-grinder monkey on their back.

It should make no difference to you so long as you know what's on your back.

jason2

That speaker sounds like a brave soul. Stepism may not be the best fit for him, but it's probably the only game in town and he found a way to make it work for him.