Loss of Control
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Loss of Control
Finally, I feel it appropriate to post something specifically in the 12-Step forum, because I have a hunch that you all, and the Big Book, might have a thing or two to say about the concept of control 
Rather, the illusion of control.
Lately, I'm feeling a loss of control... ha! I'll just be blunt. I'm seriously mourning my relatively peaceful existence before bringing a Beagle adolescent into our home. We thought it was a puppy, but turns out it's closer to a year old. I know some of you are shaking your head right about now, saying... jesus, bring us a real problem to solve. Lol. What an easy life. Well, trust me, my life might seem easy from the outside looking in, but it wasn't easy getting to this point.
But this post isn't about my childhood or my past. Not directly, anyway. I am finding myself in near panic throughout the day as I feel pulled in many directions by this new animal... and sometimes literally pulled, lol. This is I think a great example of a situation which calls on the Serenity Prayer for examination... I am going throughout the day evaluating whether I can control this animal and it's behavior or not, just what part of it I can control, and what part I'd better let go and let pan out by itself. If I let go completely, the dog would destroy my home. If I completely shut her out, she'd probably die of a broken heart out in my backyard. I yelled at her today and felt awful. I finally had to spray her with a water bottle in order to get her off my glass paned door which she's been trying to ram in for over a week... lol! It worked like a charm. Relief... after days of worry. She has stayed off the back door most of the day. I rewarded her by letting her back inside part of the day. And I put her out as soon as she became destructive again.
My life had been pretty predictable with four cats and a husband who had a set work schedule for the most part. I was free to surf the net, clean the house, shop, and write as I needed... the dog has been like having a toddler around.
So I guess I'm posting because I am finding myself stressed so much. I am having very negative self-defeating thoughts, depressed thoughts, anxious thoughts, paranoid thoughts, etc. You get the picture. She has tapped into my neuroses, in short.
I want this to be a success. I want her to stay. And I want to develop the patience to train her so that she is happy and lives to her potential. I definitely don't want to drink over something like this.
Has anyone ever had a pet stir up some pretty heavy thoughts? And bring out your worst? I am trying to figure out why. If this is normal or not. Maybe I'm analyzing it too much but I had better do something to avoid falling into old patterns again. So this is all I know to do.
Input please
Rather, the illusion of control. Lately, I'm feeling a loss of control... ha! I'll just be blunt. I'm seriously mourning my relatively peaceful existence before bringing a Beagle adolescent into our home. We thought it was a puppy, but turns out it's closer to a year old. I know some of you are shaking your head right about now, saying... jesus, bring us a real problem to solve. Lol. What an easy life. Well, trust me, my life might seem easy from the outside looking in, but it wasn't easy getting to this point.
But this post isn't about my childhood or my past. Not directly, anyway. I am finding myself in near panic throughout the day as I feel pulled in many directions by this new animal... and sometimes literally pulled, lol. This is I think a great example of a situation which calls on the Serenity Prayer for examination... I am going throughout the day evaluating whether I can control this animal and it's behavior or not, just what part of it I can control, and what part I'd better let go and let pan out by itself. If I let go completely, the dog would destroy my home. If I completely shut her out, she'd probably die of a broken heart out in my backyard. I yelled at her today and felt awful. I finally had to spray her with a water bottle in order to get her off my glass paned door which she's been trying to ram in for over a week... lol! It worked like a charm. Relief... after days of worry. She has stayed off the back door most of the day. I rewarded her by letting her back inside part of the day. And I put her out as soon as she became destructive again.
My life had been pretty predictable with four cats and a husband who had a set work schedule for the most part. I was free to surf the net, clean the house, shop, and write as I needed... the dog has been like having a toddler around.
So I guess I'm posting because I am finding myself stressed so much. I am having very negative self-defeating thoughts, depressed thoughts, anxious thoughts, paranoid thoughts, etc. You get the picture. She has tapped into my neuroses, in short.
I want this to be a success. I want her to stay. And I want to develop the patience to train her so that she is happy and lives to her potential. I definitely don't want to drink over something like this.
Has anyone ever had a pet stir up some pretty heavy thoughts? And bring out your worst? I am trying to figure out why. If this is normal or not. Maybe I'm analyzing it too much but I had better do something to avoid falling into old patterns again. So this is all I know to do.
Input please
Diez de Mayan
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: The Hinterlands
Posts: 109
You need to understand dog psychology. Spraying with a water bottle is abuse and may work for awhile but the dog may turn on you.
The dog is the boss of you, you need to establish yourself as pack leader. Cesar Milan videos and books are helpful. My labrador retriever used to act up like that and I seriously thought I would have to return her. I had to educate myself about dog training and behavior. They are not little humans, their psychology is totally different and until you understand that, and learn about dog behavior, it will be a disaster.
I don't mean to be harsh but it really bothers me when people are not prepared to take on a dog, have no idea what they are doing, and use isolation and spray bottles and whatnot as a "punishment". There are no bad dogs (for the most part), just bad owners.
The dog is the boss of you, you need to establish yourself as pack leader. Cesar Milan videos and books are helpful. My labrador retriever used to act up like that and I seriously thought I would have to return her. I had to educate myself about dog training and behavior. They are not little humans, their psychology is totally different and until you understand that, and learn about dog behavior, it will be a disaster.
I don't mean to be harsh but it really bothers me when people are not prepared to take on a dog, have no idea what they are doing, and use isolation and spray bottles and whatnot as a "punishment". There are no bad dogs (for the most part), just bad owners.
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Originally Posted by MsJax 
Jennie- how much exercise is she getting? Hard exercise like fetching or fast walks with you?
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Hey there -- I can't say "I know exactly how you feel" -- because nobody can really say that. But I can sympathize closely, and explain how the steps help me.
I'm the mother of a very active 2-year old, and I understand the constant brain engagement required to keep up with her every movement. She's like an adorable, little tornado that I have to save from getting hurt every few minutes
It's taxing!
And, it reminds me of powerlessness.
"I am powerless over alcohol" -- and people, places, and things. I can't control my toddler. The best I can do is try to guide her behavior into acceptable channels, and be patient but firm when she gets it wrong.
"My life has become unmanageable" -- and that can happen easily with a toddler. So after picking her up from daycare, I have to take her shopping, cook her dinner, do laundry, clean, take a conference call, give her a bath, read her books, put her to bed, and get to an AA meeting -- all in one night? Yeah, right! Trying to do too much easily makes my life unmanageable. "First things first" ... "Easy does it"
"A Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity" -- There is a solution, and it's in a Power greater than myself. I have to turn to God and trust that He will help me.
"Turned my will and my life over to the care of God" -- When I stop trying to make things happen my way, ask God to direct my evenings, they become much easier. I may not always get to do EVERYTHING on my to-do list. But I ask God to help me do what matters most.
So in short ... I don't have experience with a pet driving me over the edge. But I have LOTS of experience with my own thoughts, behaviors, and expectations driving me over the edge when I attempt to control things. When my will isn't being done, I panic.
I've got to turn my will over to the care of God and commit to doing His will.
I'll pray the 3rd step prayer over and over when I start to get frazzled.
I hope some of this helps you. You've done a wonderful thing by providing a loving home for a dog. It's easy to become overwhelmed when things change too drastically. But there's always an answer that doesn't involve alcohol. There's always love and help at your beck and call.
Good luck with your sweet dog!
I'm the mother of a very active 2-year old, and I understand the constant brain engagement required to keep up with her every movement. She's like an adorable, little tornado that I have to save from getting hurt every few minutes
It's taxing!
And, it reminds me of powerlessness.
"I am powerless over alcohol" -- and people, places, and things. I can't control my toddler. The best I can do is try to guide her behavior into acceptable channels, and be patient but firm when she gets it wrong.
"My life has become unmanageable" -- and that can happen easily with a toddler. So after picking her up from daycare, I have to take her shopping, cook her dinner, do laundry, clean, take a conference call, give her a bath, read her books, put her to bed, and get to an AA meeting -- all in one night? Yeah, right! Trying to do too much easily makes my life unmanageable. "First things first" ... "Easy does it"
"A Power greater than myself can restore me to sanity" -- There is a solution, and it's in a Power greater than myself. I have to turn to God and trust that He will help me.
"Turned my will and my life over to the care of God" -- When I stop trying to make things happen my way, ask God to direct my evenings, they become much easier. I may not always get to do EVERYTHING on my to-do list. But I ask God to help me do what matters most.
So in short ... I don't have experience with a pet driving me over the edge. But I have LOTS of experience with my own thoughts, behaviors, and expectations driving me over the edge when I attempt to control things. When my will isn't being done, I panic.
I've got to turn my will over to the care of God and commit to doing His will.
I'll pray the 3rd step prayer over and over when I start to get frazzled.
I hope some of this helps you. You've done a wonderful thing by providing a loving home for a dog. It's easy to become overwhelmed when things change too drastically. But there's always an answer that doesn't involve alcohol. There's always love and help at your beck and call.
Good luck with your sweet dog!
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Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Washington
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The exercise you're giving her sounds good. When she's tearing up your house can you give her appropriate toys to change her focus? I know it's hard but once you resort to yelling and being anxious and angry with her the situation only worsens and you will create an angry, anxious pet. It's helpful for her to have a special safe place in the house. Certain toys. Get a "treat ball", one by Kong. Young dogs are incredibly busy, you just have to get through the hard stuff. I've been working with special needs dogs for years, and I have also found that banishing them to outside is not normally good. They just want to be with you. You are the pack leader. I hope it works out for you.
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She has a dog bed, a crate and we let her on the sofa and even the bed at night with us before putting her into her crate... which she stays in perfectly fine throughout the night. I thought that I was giving into her demands to go outside too often, so much that she doesn't want to take no for an answer... she stands by the front door whenever we are home, and tries to chew on everything. I have distracted her from chewing with her soft plush toys and balls. That works temporarily anyway.
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It's a square ball made just for loading dry treats into. You are doing great! She's just a baby- in a new home trying to learn new ways. She will be a great dog, it takes lots of love, patience and time. I have 5 senior rescues right now, it's always an experience
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LOL.........I've had two puppies and they are a huge amount of work! I can see how you're stressed out. My last puppy (and present doggie) entered my home six years ago. I had been sober 14 years by that point and recall crying the second day that I couldn't handle it. What will make a huge difference is learning how to handle and train a puppy/young dog. I suggest Caesar Milan, who has a book, but you can find lots of sources of information on the internet.
For example, do you have a crate? When you're not home for a few hours it might be a good idea to put the puppy in the crate. BTW, they love crates! Also learning how to walk with a dog on a leash (it's not intuitive).
Using a plant sprayer on a dog or punishing in any way only teaches the dog to fear you, it doesn't tell the dog what you want him to do. "The hands are only for loving" is a good rule. When you learn how to handle a wonderful, high energy bundle of joy I predict your anxiety will diminish.
For example, do you have a crate? When you're not home for a few hours it might be a good idea to put the puppy in the crate. BTW, they love crates! Also learning how to walk with a dog on a leash (it's not intuitive).
Using a plant sprayer on a dog or punishing in any way only teaches the dog to fear you, it doesn't tell the dog what you want him to do. "The hands are only for loving" is a good rule. When you learn how to handle a wonderful, high energy bundle of joy I predict your anxiety will diminish.
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Behavior Modification
I'm reading this at our local Dog Park. A good Pal is a hired Dog Trainer. Formal, repeatable Training is the answer. I'll try to get his ideas. We bought a DVD off of late night TV and it's been fabulous. I'll try to find it in the midst of us now packing to move.
Repeatable steps we trust helped us sober up [regardless of the Program]. The same is true for changing Dog/Pup behavior. I've seen Dog Training magic here. More later...
Repeatable steps we trust helped us sober up [regardless of the Program]. The same is true for changing Dog/Pup behavior. I've seen Dog Training magic here. More later...
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ToxicTonic, to be clear, I was never using a spray bottle as punishment. She was ramming in my door immediately after I let her outside to pee. And I only resorted to doing it today after I was frustrated about how to get her to calm down. Sent from my iPhone using SoberRecovery
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my avatar. dat dere is pete!! hes my lil buddy!!! that doesn't mean I don't get angry at him or he gets angry at me( especially when I walk in with no scoobysnacks!!!).
I got him at 5 weeks old. all ready to get me a dog!!!
patience...yeah.ummm...ok.... pete chewed a hole in the carpet of the front room whne I was out one day. it was quite a big hole. not sumthing that could be patched. okok...I understand hes a puppy!! whats the solution!?!?! put him in my bedroom when I leave!!
um,yeah...bedroom..with carpet... and clothes.
he's stirred up heavy thoughts now and then with me. I cant break him from barkin at the mailman!!! I even introduced him to the mailman and he loved her!! but STILL barks like crazy whne shes on this road!!!
why does that happen to me? welp, id have to say because things don't go my way. accepting that pete thedog is a dog and is gonna do dog stuff is something I forget at times, but accepting it helps me. I think about a few lines from the BB:
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
ill leave out the next few paragraphs but it really helps me in many situations.
"I want this to be a success. I want her to stay. And I want to develop the patience to train her so that she is happy and lives to her potential. I definitely don't want to drink over something like this."
welp, I don't know ya too good, but I couldn't see ya using this as an excuse to drink, which is good. its not like a broken shoelace or sumthin!!
ok, you want it to be a success. how do ya determine if its successful? I think of it like raising a child. theres gonna be trials and tribulations. even today at 4 years old( pete,not me ) theres still times he drives me BONKERS!!! and I still drive him BONKERS!!! "geeze pete, all I wanted was to crawl into my queen size bed for the night!! I know yer huge 15 lb body takes up most of it, but cant I have a corner without ya growlin at me???" LOLOLOL.
you hit something very good in thtat part I got up above here- developing patience. ive watched this show called "the dog whisperer." pretty awesome, but at 1st I thought a bunch of BS. cesar is calm at all times around these dogs hes helping to train. NOW FRIGGIN WAY!! but then I looked into him. at 13 he told his mom he was going to be the best dog handler there is!! so the patience and calmness he has is something that has developed with time.
I don't think your analyzing it too much. honestly I think your seeing the potential for a great pet, but maybe confused or lost on how to do it?
when it comes to training dogs, I believe it to fall into a category with raising children and grieving- a million books written on the subjects, but not one a fit all.
but I personaly suggest lookin into cesar milans site and study what he has there. watching his shows, how he teaches poele to be the pack leader and turn some pretty crazy dogs into awesome pets...just amazing and I believe what he says.
patience-its not about what im doin while im waiting. its about what im thinkin.
if ya figger out what to think, let me know!!! I still need work there!!!LOLOLOL
I got him at 5 weeks old. all ready to get me a dog!!!
patience...yeah.ummm...ok.... pete chewed a hole in the carpet of the front room whne I was out one day. it was quite a big hole. not sumthing that could be patched. okok...I understand hes a puppy!! whats the solution!?!?! put him in my bedroom when I leave!!
um,yeah...bedroom..with carpet... and clothes.
he's stirred up heavy thoughts now and then with me. I cant break him from barkin at the mailman!!! I even introduced him to the mailman and he loved her!! but STILL barks like crazy whne shes on this road!!!
why does that happen to me? welp, id have to say because things don't go my way. accepting that pete thedog is a dog and is gonna do dog stuff is something I forget at times, but accepting it helps me. I think about a few lines from the BB:
The first requirement is that we be convinced that any life run on self-will can hardly be a success. On that basis we are almost always in collision with something or somebody, even though our motives are good. Most people try to live by self-propulsion. Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way. If his arrangements would only stay put, if only people would do as he wished, the show would be great. Everybody, including himself, would be pleased. Life would be wonderful. In trying to make these arrangements our actor may sometimes be quite virtuous. He may be kind, considerate, patient, generous; even modest and self-sacrificing. On the other hand, he may be mean, egotistical, selfish and dishonest. But, as with most humans, he is more likely to have varied traits.
ill leave out the next few paragraphs but it really helps me in many situations.
"I want this to be a success. I want her to stay. And I want to develop the patience to train her so that she is happy and lives to her potential. I definitely don't want to drink over something like this."
welp, I don't know ya too good, but I couldn't see ya using this as an excuse to drink, which is good. its not like a broken shoelace or sumthin!!
ok, you want it to be a success. how do ya determine if its successful? I think of it like raising a child. theres gonna be trials and tribulations. even today at 4 years old( pete,not me
) theres still times he drives me BONKERS!!! and I still drive him BONKERS!!! "geeze pete, all I wanted was to crawl into my queen size bed for the night!! I know yer huge 15 lb body takes up most of it, but cant I have a corner without ya growlin at me???" LOLOLOL.you hit something very good in thtat part I got up above here- developing patience. ive watched this show called "the dog whisperer." pretty awesome, but at 1st I thought a bunch of BS. cesar is calm at all times around these dogs hes helping to train. NOW FRIGGIN WAY!! but then I looked into him. at 13 he told his mom he was going to be the best dog handler there is!! so the patience and calmness he has is something that has developed with time.
I don't think your analyzing it too much. honestly I think your seeing the potential for a great pet, but maybe confused or lost on how to do it?
when it comes to training dogs, I believe it to fall into a category with raising children and grieving- a million books written on the subjects, but not one a fit all.
but I personaly suggest lookin into cesar milans site and study what he has there. watching his shows, how he teaches poele to be the pack leader and turn some pretty crazy dogs into awesome pets...just amazing and I believe what he says.
patience-its not about what im doin while im waiting. its about what im thinkin.
if ya figger out what to think, let me know!!! I still need work there!!!LOLOLOL
Diez de Mayan
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: The Hinterlands
Posts: 109
True about beagles. Like labs they are working dogs. It's good to know about the temperament of a breed because they all have different characteristics.
I got my dog from a rescue. She had some "behaviors" but with the help of Cesar Milan she is a well behaved dog now. Of course, no dog is perfect and I was really shocked the first time I got mad at her! I was so surprised, lol!
Once you establish pack leadership there is no need for spray bottles or making a dog fearful. One of the ways to establish leadership (there are many) is to not give snacks without making your dog "work" for them. My dog can sit, give paw, roll over, lay down, and get this--- hop - on command. She will lie down, not on her side, but on her belly - and when I say hop, she does this cute little bunny hop with her rear legs.
I tell her to "stay" before going outside and I always go out before her, same with coming in, be the one leading the way. Also, don't allow leash pulling.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (billions or trillions, whatever it is, of wolf dna bred into a dog, not little human dna), the courage to change the things I can (learning more about dog breeds, behavior and humane training techniques), and the wisdom to know the difference (between a dog and human thinkin').
Good luck with your new dog, hope you are both happy.
I got my dog from a rescue. She had some "behaviors" but with the help of Cesar Milan she is a well behaved dog now. Of course, no dog is perfect and I was really shocked the first time I got mad at her! I was so surprised, lol!
Once you establish pack leadership there is no need for spray bottles or making a dog fearful. One of the ways to establish leadership (there are many) is to not give snacks without making your dog "work" for them. My dog can sit, give paw, roll over, lay down, and get this--- hop - on command. She will lie down, not on her side, but on her belly - and when I say hop, she does this cute little bunny hop with her rear legs.
I tell her to "stay" before going outside and I always go out before her, same with coming in, be the one leading the way. Also, don't allow leash pulling.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (billions or trillions, whatever it is, of wolf dna bred into a dog, not little human dna), the courage to change the things I can (learning more about dog breeds, behavior and humane training techniques), and the wisdom to know the difference (between a dog and human thinkin').
Good luck with your new dog, hope you are both happy.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: canada
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This is I think a great example of a situation which calls on the Serenity Prayer for examination... I am going throughout the day evaluating whether I can control this animal and it's behavior or not, just what part of it I can control, and what part I'd better let go and let pan out by itself.SJ,
"courage to change the things i can"
yes, you can change most everything here. with appropriate training most any dog can and will be a great, non-destructive sane companion.
the training is mostly for you
you cannot actually control her behaviour, but after you learn how, you can help her control herself
Cesar Milan's books are great, and so are Carol Lea Benjamin's. all available at libraries at no cost. actual classes are fun and helpful. well worth every penny.
i read about thirty books before i adopted my first dog, and then learned enough with her together so that after she died and i got another one (Lab/Shep cross) i knew just what to do with this one. and what NOT to do. meaning: it's a process. takes continued willingness. much like other things
it worked best for me when i let go of the idea of controlling and went with the training, guiding, and yeah, repeat repeat repeat consistency.
"courage to change the things i can"
yes, you can change most everything here. with appropriate training most any dog can and will be a great, non-destructive sane companion.
the training is mostly for you
you cannot actually control her behaviour, but after you learn how, you can help her control herself
Cesar Milan's books are great, and so are Carol Lea Benjamin's. all available at libraries at no cost. actual classes are fun and helpful. well worth every penny.
i read about thirty books before i adopted my first dog, and then learned enough with her together so that after she died and i got another one (Lab/Shep cross) i knew just what to do with this one. and what NOT to do. meaning: it's a process. takes continued willingness. much like other things
it worked best for me when i let go of the idea of controlling and went with the training, guiding, and yeah, repeat repeat repeat consistency.
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Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Colorado
Posts: 3,474
Don Sullivan - Dog Training DVD + Collar
The Dog Training DVD I mentioned up-Thread is linked below.
With this well-organized DVD comes a Training Collar. It's Plastic. These lil, harmless, dull 'points' press into the Dog's Neck when you pull hard on the Collar/Leash. The idea is that this simulates Momma Dog harmlessly clamping on a Pup's Neck to correct behavior. It worked for us, and improved the behavior of our Goldie really fast when walking him on Open Space Paths here. Highly recommended. After a while, simply putting on this Plastic Collar signaled it was Training Time, and obedience generally followed.
My Pro Trainer Pal at our Dog Park uses a lil Can of Compressed Air. He gives it a short blast while correcting a Dog. It's not loud; just unique. Then, he moves on to making this hissing sound with his Mouth. The Dog doesn't know it's not the Air Can. Friends have used the Water Bottle technique. This Compressed Air trick is an alternative to the Water Bottle.
We never used Treats. We used only positive vocal praise. Mainly. We stuck with suggestions we'd heard forever to work with a Pup 2x/15 minutes day. Or, something like that...
The Official Website Don Sullivan's Secrets to Training the Perfect Dog Website
-----
With this well-organized DVD comes a Training Collar. It's Plastic. These lil, harmless, dull 'points' press into the Dog's Neck when you pull hard on the Collar/Leash. The idea is that this simulates Momma Dog harmlessly clamping on a Pup's Neck to correct behavior. It worked for us, and improved the behavior of our Goldie really fast when walking him on Open Space Paths here. Highly recommended. After a while, simply putting on this Plastic Collar signaled it was Training Time, and obedience generally followed.
My Pro Trainer Pal at our Dog Park uses a lil Can of Compressed Air. He gives it a short blast while correcting a Dog. It's not loud; just unique. Then, he moves on to making this hissing sound with his Mouth. The Dog doesn't know it's not the Air Can. Friends have used the Water Bottle technique. This Compressed Air trick is an alternative to the Water Bottle.
We never used Treats. We used only positive vocal praise. Mainly. We stuck with suggestions we'd heard forever to work with a Pup 2x/15 minutes day. Or, something like that...
The Official Website Don Sullivan's Secrets to Training the Perfect Dog Website
-----
Recovering ostrich
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Tampa Bay, Florida
Posts: 2,551
Go easy on yourself. She needs training, that is all. They are so different than cats, who train us rather than the other way around (I am a cat person and got a rescue dog 2 years ago). But once she is trained you two will be best friends. I think the books and DVDs mentioned here are great, and a book on your dog's temperament.
And in all of that, the serenity prayer never hurts. lol I have no control over the pet hair... Ohmmmm.
And in all of that, the serenity prayer never hurts. lol I have no control over the pet hair... Ohmmmm.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by SoberJennie
...This is I think a great example of a situation which calls on the Serenity Prayer for examination... I am going throughout the day evaluating whether I can control this animal and it's behavior or not, just what part of it I can control, and what part I'd better let go and let pan out by itself. If I let go completely, the dog would destroy my home. If I completely shut her out, she'd probably die of a broken heart out in my backyard.
Hopefully someone here can tell you more about how to train your dog. If not, maybe call around for help.
Good luck.
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