Sober time requirement to share?
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Join Date: Jan 2013
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My experience has always been that anyone can share but that one needs to have at least 90 days to qualify at a meeting and share their story of how it was, what happened and how it is now.
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Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: C.C. Ma.
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Hi. In my area newcomers are also encouraged to share their alcohol experience, many are understandable too shy. These same meetings do not have newcomers chair the meetings or speak from the podium until they achieve 90 days of sobriety.
Once I got over my self centered fear and chaired or spoke from the podium I received much satisfaction from what I learned about myself from those moments.
BE WELL
Once I got over my self centered fear and chaired or spoke from the podium I received much satisfaction from what I learned about myself from those moments.
BE WELL
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
My home group is a fairly small step meeting and everyone gets to share if only to say their name and that they'd rather listen today.
At our anniversary meeting, people who celebrate (90 days or more) get to tell their story.
I think that being sober 90 days before someone can qualify makes sense. The format is after all: how it was, what happened and how it is now. Someone who has let's say 3 weeks is still in the middle of what's happening and probably has not gotten to go through the twelve steps yet.
Not letting newcomers (whether to AA or to the group) share really disturbs me:
- It is a good reminder for me of how bad active alcoholism is because like most of us, I have a build in forgetter. When I hear a distressed share from a newcomer, it keeps me working my program: I do not want to go back there,
- On a human level, I would rather listen to a newcomer's disjointed share about his struggles knowing that someone will approach him after the meeting and offer encouragement and support through the steps rather than have that person being told to "shut up bitch" (I read that article, that was appalling
) or "newbies should be seen, not heard" and go back out drinking or hang himself in his basement.
At our anniversary meeting, people who celebrate (90 days or more) get to tell their story.
I think that being sober 90 days before someone can qualify makes sense. The format is after all: how it was, what happened and how it is now. Someone who has let's say 3 weeks is still in the middle of what's happening and probably has not gotten to go through the twelve steps yet.
Not letting newcomers (whether to AA or to the group) share really disturbs me:
- It is a good reminder for me of how bad active alcoholism is because like most of us, I have a build in forgetter. When I hear a distressed share from a newcomer, it keeps me working my program: I do not want to go back there,
- On a human level, I would rather listen to a newcomer's disjointed share about his struggles knowing that someone will approach him after the meeting and offer encouragement and support through the steps rather than have that person being told to "shut up bitch" (I read that article, that was appalling
) or "newbies should be seen, not heard" and go back out drinking or hang himself in his basement.
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by Patriciae 
Hi Riverbird,
When I was a newcomer, most AA Groups voted by Group Conscience that a newcomer couldn't speak from the podium at an open AA meeting until they had 3 months sober. The reasoning being, that the message of Alcoholics Anonymous was being carried and passed on.
But there was nothing to prevent anyone from sharing in AA meetings, in fact, newcomers were encouraged to share at AA meetings and still are.
When I was a newcomer, most AA Groups voted by Group Conscience that a newcomer couldn't speak from the podium at an open AA meeting until they had 3 months sober. The reasoning being, that the message of Alcoholics Anonymous was being carried and passed on.
But there was nothing to prevent anyone from sharing in AA meetings, in fact, newcomers were encouraged to share at AA meetings and still are.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by LadyinBC
Me either and if I did go to one where they said that, I wouldn't be going back there again.
Some people need to share and the whole point of these meetings is to share our experiences and why we are there or just to vent. It doesn't matter where you are in recovery, newcomer, old timer, just coming back, what you have to say is important and might help someone else. Everyone has something to contribute
.
Some people need to share and the whole point of these meetings is to share our experiences and why we are there or just to vent. It doesn't matter where you are in recovery, newcomer, old timer, just coming back, what you have to say is important and might help someone else. Everyone has something to contribute
.remembering my first meeting in aa and remembering how it was to hear the members share there own drinking experiences and the shame guilt remorse they would feel trying to remember what they did the night before etc hit me right between the eyes
i shared back at the meeting and told them i am so like him or her i got my first ever identification and from that moment on i knew i wasn't the only one, so i kept on coming back for more
if you sit there all night long saying how the steps turned your life around and how your on your hand and knee each day a new comer is going to think your a bunch of Jehovah witness type cult figures and then write aa off and might never again come back
so its so important for a new comer to get the right feed back from members in the meetings so that they get id
but to rob them of a chance of sharing back in the room is a huge mistake in my eyes and tells me more about the group member's who would operate such a policy
control freaks would be my simple way to describe them, or cult figures trying to stamp there way or no way on people
i have already picked out a good few on this forum who are clearly the cult type of aa memeber and its no surprize to me there on here hunting for new comers for them to try to control
rather then just letting the new comer find there own way and what they themselves are comfortable with
we take no prisoners in our aa groups in our area although we do have a very small number of cult memebers who keep on trying to show us all how wrong we are for how we run our meetings to how we live our day
we dont go around with a book under are arm and we certainly dont throw god at anyone although most members believe in god of there own understanding
but they dont preach they leave that to the churches
i wouldnt keep on coming back to aa for 10 years that i have done if it was all about god and steps and a book
i come to share my experience my strength and my hope with anyone at the meeting that means what i was like, were the drink took me, how i ended up in aa, and what its like today, also if people have shared there in trouble i will aim a bit of experince i might of had at them in a share and what i did the same as other will do in there shares
thats how we help each other and pass on strength and love
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Miami, FL
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Originally Posted by Patriciae
Hi Riverbird,
When I was a newcomer, most AA Groups voted by Group Conscience that a newcomer couldn't speak from the podium at an open AA meeting until they had 3 months sober. The reasoning being, that the message of Alcoholics Anonymous was being carried and passed on.
But there was nothing to prevent anyone from sharing in AA meetings, in fact, newcomers were encouraged to share at AA meetings and still are.
When I was a newcomer, most AA Groups voted by Group Conscience that a newcomer couldn't speak from the podium at an open AA meeting until they had 3 months sober. The reasoning being, that the message of Alcoholics Anonymous was being carried and passed on.
But there was nothing to prevent anyone from sharing in AA meetings, in fact, newcomers were encouraged to share at AA meetings and still are.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Washington, MO
Posts: 2,306
Black tie club in las vegas--under 30 days cannot share. Hated it when I was there but kinda understand. Now, from another perspective I would encourage newcomers to listen and watch for 30 days to discern the weirdo's and predators from those who have their ship together before they open up and ask for help--long term sobriety does not equal sanity.
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
It's pretty much the same here. 90 days to be a speaker but anyone can share. I'm more or less ok with that. I recently walked out on a speaker with 25+ years who really should have just SYFU . So much for "time", right?
This has me thinking about Bill and Bob going to visit Bill D. AA #3 and the "man on the bed". Bill had what, 3 months and Bob had a couple or 3 weeks. Where would we all be if they had time requirements?
-Allan
. So much for "time", right?This has me thinking about Bill and Bob going to visit Bill D. AA #3 and the "man on the bed". Bill had what, 3 months and Bob had a couple or 3 weeks. Where would we all be if they had time requirements?
-Allan
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by CousinA
It's pretty much the same here. 90 days to be a speaker but anyone can share. I'm more or less ok with that. I recently walked out on a speaker with 25+ years who really should have just SYFU . So much for "time", right?
This has me thinking about Bill and Bob going to visit Bill D. AA #3 and the "man on the bed". Bill had what, 3 months and Bob had a couple or 3 weeks. Where would we all be if they had time requirements?
-Allan
. So much for "time", right?This has me thinking about Bill and Bob going to visit Bill D. AA #3 and the "man on the bed". Bill had what, 3 months and Bob had a couple or 3 weeks. Where would we all be if they had time requirements?
-Allan
All kidding aside, we always ask that question at our meeting and anyone who says yes gets to share. We do it more to encourage sharing because we have
no sober time requirements, but we do try to limit sharers to 3-5 minute pitches.
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Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
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Originally Posted by miamifella
When you say "speak from the podium" do you mean chair a meeting? Or is it some kind of special share?
when they raise their hand to share because of the large size and acoustics.
They have a mike at the podium.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
Some meetings I attend require everyone to speak from the podium
when they raise their hand to share because of the large size and acoustics.
They have a mike at the podium.
when they raise their hand to share because of the large size and acoustics.
They have a mike at the podium.
dont you have meetings were you guys sit around a table ?
we normaly sit around a table there can be as many as 30 or more fill up the room
someone will share there story but they will need 12 months to be in the chair but even that is open at times, but after 20 mins or so the meeting then gets thrown open for all in the room to share back
Behold the power of NO
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a mike and a podium ?? whats that all about ?
dont you have meetings were you guys sit around a table ?
dont you have meetings were you guys sit around a table ?
My current home group is small so we all sit around a table. It is also held in a community center in a modern room with central heating and a/c rather than an old basement (oh and modern bathrooms which don't clog LOL).
I think we need to keep in mind that while we (AA) are good about paying rent etc. we still depend on the kindness of Churches, centers, schools etc. who host us mostly for a nominal fee. Sometimes, the place is shabby, too big or too small so it makes sense to adapt to the physical environment (bad acoustics, noisy fan et all..) and be glad that we have friends willing to rent to a bunch of drunks
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Originally Posted by UncleMeat69
Maybe Bill let Dr. Bob share because he had a "burning desire"
All kidding aside, we always ask that question at our meeting and anyone who says yes gets to share. We do it more to encourage sharing because we have
no sober time requirements, but we do try to limit sharers to 3-5 minute pitches.
All kidding aside, we always ask that question at our meeting and anyone who says yes gets to share. We do it more to encourage sharing because we have
no sober time requirements, but we do try to limit sharers to 3-5 minute pitches.
if it was good enough for the first memebers to share when they were just so young learning to cope with each day sober then why on earth do we have time limits on people.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
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Originally Posted by Carlotta
My old home group back East had a very big Friday night meeting in a huge Church basement and the acoustics were really bad. We had a podium and a mike.
My current home group is small so we all sit around a table. It is also held in a community center in a modern room with central heating and a/c rather than an old basement.
I think we need to keep in mind that while we (AA) are good about paying rent etc. we still depend on the kindness of Churches, centers, schools etc. who host us mostly for a nominal fee. Sometimes, the place is shabby, too big or too small so it makes sense to adapt to the physical environment (bad acoustics, noisy fan et all..) and be glad that we have friends willing to rent to a bunch of drunks
My current home group is small so we all sit around a table. It is also held in a community center in a modern room with central heating and a/c rather than an old basement.
I think we need to keep in mind that while we (AA) are good about paying rent etc. we still depend on the kindness of Churches, centers, schools etc. who host us mostly for a nominal fee. Sometimes, the place is shabby, too big or too small so it makes sense to adapt to the physical environment (bad acoustics, noisy fan et all..) and be glad that we have friends willing to rent to a bunch of drunks
wish we still had them today
Behold the power of NO
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
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why on earth do we have time limits on people.
While I fervently prayed for an egg timer, those same ladies hogged the Group Conscience. I stopped going.
Both my home group and the meeting I secretary don't have time limits but:
a) they are small
b) the people who attend are respectful of others and realize that it is not just about them but that others might want/need to share.
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Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by desypete
a mike and a podium ?? whats that all about ?
Often the only thing missing are shouts of "Hallelujah."
(Granted there are some meetings which are too big and a mike comes in handy. However, most times when I've seen this practiced it was more for a dramatic effect than because of meeting size.)
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Originally Posted by Ken33xx
It's probably so you can bare witness to the truth.
Often the only thing missing are shouts of "Hallelujah."
(Granted there are some meetings which are too big and a mike comes in handy. However, most times when I've seen this practiced it was more for a dramatic effect than because of meeting size.)
Often the only thing missing are shouts of "Hallelujah."
(Granted there are some meetings which are too big and a mike comes in handy. However, most times when I've seen this practiced it was more for a dramatic effect than because of meeting size.)
yes i am wondering when the hallelujah will be introduced into the meetings give it time i guess : (
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Originally Posted by Carlotta
Have you ever been in a group held hostage by 2 or three individuals who will be talking for 20+ minute each?
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