Thatdeliveryguy

I am working the steps very slowly and doing meetings, and I suppose in my head this process/program would make me a happier more content person. At the moment I find myself, angst ridden, angry and unhappy about most things in life.

I am try new things every day add to my gratitude list and deal with my resentments. However, I am just stuck, like blahhh all the time 24 7. I know it eventually gets better, anyone have any parts of the BB that might help brighten my spirts or something in the BB or the stories that really helped them? Maybe I can find something, that might help me.

I hate anger, I don't like anger, anger produces nothing but anxiety self loathing those sorts of things. I want some amount of happiness. Maybe step work, and more step work and meetings are in order. Not sure thogh, at times in meeting I feel awesome and love hearing all the positives, I just wish I was where those people are at times. Other times, in some weird way, I am glad I am not other people who are doing worse. I know that is a horrible thing to say, but I way I feel. I want the best for everyone, but seeing worse keeps me coming back.

TDG

mfanch

For me, anger is a front for self-centered fear. I used/felt anger and it was easy and it provided a sense of control and power. I LOVED the victim cape. Mine was crushed velvet with a big "v" on it. Anger was much better, in my mind, than fear. Underneath the anger was fear, tho. Once I looked at the fear and became unblocked from a higher power (who I call "not me"), it dissipated.

Gottalife

For inspiration, pages 12, 13 and 14 where Bill takes the 6 steps as they were then, and has a spiritual experience, all in the space of a day or so.

Then I would ask why am I taking the steps slowly? In my experience, the speed at which we can acquire a solid defence against the first drink has a great deal to do with the speed at which we make this program our way of life.

If we want to recover now, we take the steps now. If we are happy to postpone our recovery, we can go slower, but we might drink.

dox

In my experience and humble opinion, there is nothing wrong with going slowly when working the steps; just so long as you are working them and not procrastinating.
We are all different.
But, your step-working speed, or lack thereof, is not what you were asking about.

I have found that the story on page 407 (4th Edition) entitled: ACCPTANCE WAS THE ANSWER to be very helpful with many of my anger issues.

(This was called "Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict", page 439, in the 3rd Edition)

I know others have told you that it gets better.
And it does . . .
Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
I was one of the slow ones too.

afloatsober

In my experience what you are feeling is normal for many of us. In very early days, before i had become used to feeling sober, i would sit in meeting much the same way. Often hearing about the serenity and peace and thinking 'alright for you lot!'. Other times catching a bit of it, and still other times finding myself so glad that i am not the broken 'newcomer' that i once was.
It settles down as we work the steps in the timescale suggested by our sponsor, and the promises (last para page 83-84 of BB) ALWAYS sustain me and provide hope when i'm feeling a bit small and scared.
You are doing well.
G

Johno1967

Don't be angry about being angry. Just accept that you are and ask yourself if being angry is a proportionate response to whatever has bought it on. People write books and make lots of money teaching people how to deal with anger. Anger is simply a form of resistance with what is. Resentment is resistance of what happened in the past and fear is resistance of what is presumed to be happening in the future. As an emotion anger acted out is not particularly effective or efficient. It blinds as to what actually is, wastes energy and makes us look ridiculous. When I get angry I do a step 3 and 4 and check how I've gone later on with a step 10 and 11. If I hurt someone I do a step 9. I accept I'm angry and try to project that energy into mindful action.

SoulSister

"I am working the steps very slowly"...

May I ask what does this mean? What step are you on, and how specifically are you "working" the steps?

What does your day look like? Are you taking time each morning as you rise for prayer and/or meditation? Are you writing evening review?

What step are you on?

What is your sobriety date?

Sober unmanageability is what you describe.

How exactly are you "dealing" with your resentments?

Have you written any inventory?

Sharing some more detail with where you are at specifically can help give a better picture as to what suggestions might be helpful.

You asked for something inspiring from the big book.

Read "A Vision For You".

Db1105

The fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous started by one person trying to stay sober went out and tried to help a still suffering alcoholic. That is still the bottom line of this fellowship. It is a program of action. My sponsor made sure I didn't fall into the well of self pity by taking me on Twelve Step calls, taking meetings to institutions, or being involved in service in one way or another.

muvinon

The step work within the program only showed me the principles to apply. Serenity and peace came when I applied the new ideas to my life.

Until then......not much happened.

aasharon90

Living a life in recovery is a journey. What
happens when we go on a trip or journey?
What steps do we take before, during and
after we take that trip?

It starts with a small thought. Where would
I like to go. Make a plan on paper, computer.
Figure out the best route to take. How long
will it take me to get to the first stop safe and
sound before a peaceful restful sleep.

Wake up the next day look at our plan and
begin the next leg of our journey. We stop
during the day to stretch our legs, get a bite
to eat when we are hungry and off we go.

We take in all the sightes. Make memories thru
out the day. Be kind to folks we meet along
the way. We take our time and spend our
money wisely.

How long did you plan ur trip? A week, month,
yr. maybe the trip is a permanent move. What
ever it is , we continue with our plan till we are
happy and content. Sober and grateful.

Make your recovery in life a journey and
build upon it with all the tools, knowledge,
and experiences you're making each day
you remain sober with a program of recovery
to guide you along your way.

Each new experience will strengthen you
in mind, body and soul and the promises
will be granted to you as awesome gifts
in recovery to treasure for a lifetime.

MIRecovery

Are you working with a sponsor? If you are what do they say? If not why not?

SoulSister

I was just listening to a talk on step two. The speaker talks about how selfishness is the root of our spiritual malady.

We are discontent...have sober unmanageability, and that is caused by selfishness.

It's not physical craving, it's not mental obsession, it's not spiritual malady that is our problem...the book reads "...above everything...we must be rid of selfishness or it (the selfishness) kills us."

"You don't think they meant above "everything" did they?" Mark H. and Dave F.

Fellowship of the spirit 2001 - CD 2 of 10 - The 2. and 3. step - July 27th 2001, Mark H. and Dave F.

http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb....on=file&id=295

Riverbird

You sound like me. You're angry because you're angry which makes you angrier. I'm dealing with some big stuff right now, and it makes me so upset and frustrated because I'm overwhelmed and feel like I can't function. I get mad at myself for it which of course makes it harder to function. I'm working on accepting that this is part of the process...because most of my anger is my own constructed anger at my inability to be happy. Doesn't make much sense when you really think about it, right?

Acceptance is the Answer was also going to be my suggested reading.

But beyond reading...act. What do you see happy people around you doing? Do that. Maybe find a hobby that makes you happy? Get involved with more social stuff outside of meetings? Call a friend and see how they're doing?

We can't think our way into right action, but we can act our way into right thinking!

(PS thank you for posting this...you've given me the reminder that I need to get off the couch and get to living!)