sponsee`s
It`s ok to stay sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Central NC
Posts: 20,902
sponsee`s
we never talk about this but I have a burning desire to post this and see how you all feel about it.
I have a sponsee named Daniel
5 years sober.5 years ago he lived in a storage building in a small rental place.He rented it cheap by the month and snuck in there at night and slept there.
Eventually he got caught and was kicked out.
he has had several sponsors over these 5 years.
Recently he asked me to sponsor him.I prayed about it and found I had a lot of compassion and love for him and said yes after we had a talk about sponsor/sponsee roles.
I have learned a lot about him and really like this guy.He is brilliant,very smart.He also has ,what I call a scientific mind.
That guy could really go places in life.He is a "professional student" I call it.Up all hours of the day and night studying and taking online tests,etc
and the neatest writer I ever met.His mind can analyze anything down to the smallest degree.He usually aces his tests.
We meet weekly and usually start off with 15 minutes of talk and BS and a lot of laughts.Then we pray and go to the work.
He did step 3 and started out on step 4 last Sunday.
my question to you all
when you sponsor someone,do you see a lot of potential in them?
not just getting sober but in life.
I do ,I always see so many possibilities in these guys.
Do those possibilities always come to pass?
No
but sometimes ,some of it does.It`s great!
tks
I have a sponsee named Daniel
5 years sober.5 years ago he lived in a storage building in a small rental place.He rented it cheap by the month and snuck in there at night and slept there.
Eventually he got caught and was kicked out.
he has had several sponsors over these 5 years.
Recently he asked me to sponsor him.I prayed about it and found I had a lot of compassion and love for him and said yes after we had a talk about sponsor/sponsee roles.
I have learned a lot about him and really like this guy.He is brilliant,very smart.He also has ,what I call a scientific mind.
That guy could really go places in life.He is a "professional student" I call it.Up all hours of the day and night studying and taking online tests,etc
and the neatest writer I ever met.His mind can analyze anything down to the smallest degree.He usually aces his tests.
We meet weekly and usually start off with 15 minutes of talk and BS and a lot of laughts.Then we pray and go to the work.
He did step 3 and started out on step 4 last Sunday.
my question to you all
when you sponsor someone,do you see a lot of potential in them?
not just getting sober but in life.
I do ,I always see so many possibilities in these guys.
Do those possibilities always come to pass?
No
but sometimes ,some of it does.It`s great!
tks
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Ireland
Posts: 244
That's a great story.
I suppose if it were me I would be encouraging him to start getting work experience. There is a danger that he could be eternally in education and never find a purpose.
Nothing wrong with eternal education if you can afford it but eventually you just gotta do something with all your parchments.
I presume he has a place to live, is emotionally and psychologically secure ( 5 years sober)
You just need to scaffold him on his journey to productive member of the human race ( whatever that means, lol)
Just my thoughts, I'm sure there's more angles to it.
I suppose if it were me I would be encouraging him to start getting work experience. There is a danger that he could be eternally in education and never find a purpose.
Nothing wrong with eternal education if you can afford it but eventually you just gotta do something with all your parchments.
I presume he has a place to live, is emotionally and psychologically secure ( 5 years sober)
You just need to scaffold him on his journey to productive member of the human race ( whatever that means, lol)
Just my thoughts, I'm sure there's more angles to it.
Grateful
Join Date: May 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,763
I knew a guy like that in college. After 2 degrees and a PhD he eventually became a professor, it was a perfect fit for him. As far as seeing the best in people, I think that if we care about someone we should always try to see the potential in them even if they are currently struggling. You never know when that moment may come that will set them free of their burdens.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 765
Job or no job, wife or no wife, car or no car, status or no status, we can recover
That never changes, for us either.
Their (and my) main Job is to work with God
Whatever my sponsees do is to the credit of God, the instructions I simply pass on to them, and their own willingness
The question is, can we be ok without the people and the things
There are folks in AA who wear tattered clothes and live in public housing or shelters who have way more peace than I may ever have
Those are the ones I'm in awe of
That never changes, for us either.
Their (and my) main Job is to work with God
Whatever my sponsees do is to the credit of God, the instructions I simply pass on to them, and their own willingness
The question is, can we be ok without the people and the things
There are folks in AA who wear tattered clothes and live in public housing or shelters who have way more peace than I may ever have
Those are the ones I'm in awe of
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: brooklyn, new york
Posts: 1,639
every sponsor is different
but
basically, it's about carrying the message
when i sponsored someone
my interest was in helping them get to meetings
staying sober
sharing my experiences with them
working the steps
as far as growing as a person
it comes with the program
but
i left it entirely up to them
fraankie
but
basically, it's about carrying the message
when i sponsored someone
my interest was in helping them get to meetings
staying sober
sharing my experiences with them
working the steps
as far as growing as a person
it comes with the program
but
i left it entirely up to them
fraankie
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I sponsored a man who came in about three years ago, well messed up with alcohol and cocaine. I saw the good in him and I wondered what God would do with him. We worked the steps together and he had a life changing spiritual experience.
There were so many miracles, it's hard to even count, but here are a few.
He became a wonderful father to his two estranged sons.
He became a responsible ex, and met all his obligations and more to her.
He made all his amends and no longer has to look over his shoulder
He has a good job and is popular with his workmates. He turned down a promotion.
But the best for me was the day I came into his street and there was a street part going on after the earthquakes. The whole street and all the children were involved. It became clear to me that he was accepted and loved as a member of that community. He really was back in the mainstream of life. I'll never forget the smiles, the relaxed nature of it all, the sheer joy on his face, and the fact that the others were so fond of him.
He had the willingness,
God worked the miracles
And I had the privilege of watching.
There were so many miracles, it's hard to even count, but here are a few.
He became a wonderful father to his two estranged sons.
He became a responsible ex, and met all his obligations and more to her.
He made all his amends and no longer has to look over his shoulder
He has a good job and is popular with his workmates. He turned down a promotion.
But the best for me was the day I came into his street and there was a street part going on after the earthquakes. The whole street and all the children were involved. It became clear to me that he was accepted and loved as a member of that community. He really was back in the mainstream of life. I'll never forget the smiles, the relaxed nature of it all, the sheer joy on his face, and the fact that the others were so fond of him.
He had the willingness,
God worked the miracles
And I had the privilege of watching.
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