Bad person .??

[JaySee]

Just been to a meeting tonight.

Something has clicked

One of the people sharing was a thirty year old girl and she was very candid about how her progression with alcohol, and subsequent behaviour, had taken so much from her life. I could really relate to what she was saying. It was all there - so much was me. The main thing that came across to me though, was that she was not a bad person, but the booze took her to places where I am sure we have all been.

After months of telling myself I am not a bad person, and not believing it, suddenly during that share I thought "Hey James, you're not a bad person, you have exactly what this person has, a life ruined by behaviour caused by drinking"

Now tonight I can look at myself in the mirror and actually say to myself "I am not a bad person" and believe it.

1 month sober.... Pink cloud ..?? Maybe, but tonight I am going to enjoy that feeling, that feeling that I have moved on, just a tiny step, but I have moved on.

much love

JC

[Music]

Originally Posted by JaySee

After months of telling myself I am not a bad person, and not believing it, suddenly during that share I thought "Hey James, you're not a bad person, you have exactly what this person has, a life ruined by behaviour caused by drinking"

Now tonight I can look at myself in the mirror and actually say to myself "I am not a bad person" and believe it. JC

That's a great realization JaySee. Now turn your new found idea into a positive statement. Instead of saying, "I'm not a bad person," start telling yourself, "I am a good person." Then start working on the idea that you don't deserve to go through what alcohol will surely put you through if you drink again.

[Dan]

Yep! What Music said mate

[Paulie]

That is great. Pink cloud, no I dont' think so. I remember when I first understood that I was not a bad person either. The moment I first understand that I am not the things that I did was huge for me.

Great job, that is the program working in your life.

[ted]

MUSIC,GREAT SUGGESTION.WE BEING ALCHOLICS HAVE LOW SELF ESTEEM,AT LEAST I DO.ANYTHING POSSITIVE SHOULD BE GRASPED WITH ALL YOU HAVE,I KNOW LOOKING AT OTHERS WHO WORK A GOOD RECOVERY PROGRAM,THEY ARE SURE AND CONFIDENT PEOPLE.WITH TIME I WILL GET THERE,AND SO SHALL YOU.......ted

[Don W]

Hi JaySee, What Music said is right on. I do, and many others I think, have a big problem when it comes to self esteem. I've had a difficult time trying to overcome it. The biggest help was using positive statement about myself. Listen, bad things can happen, we can't use them to validate our opinion of ourselves. I did that for years. Your on the right track keep it up. Don W

[MootPoint]

Instead of saying, "I'm not a bad person," start telling yourself, "I am a good person."

Yyyyyyyyyyyyep. Words of wisdom

[1Marty]

Yep, major self-esteem issues here to. My 4th step revealed that to me. I still have trouble accepting that I am a decent person. There is still too much wreckage in my life.

[Rudiger]

JaySee,

So very good to read your post. There is much hope for others in your message there. Congratulations on making it to a big milestone in your recovery. It has been great reading your posts and seeing such personal progress. You inspire me today.

My own humble experience with "Acceptance" is that so often we alcoholics forget to include ourselves. It is good to see you are making peace with yourself. Accepting yourself for exactly who you are today makes your sobriety so much more solid and rewarding. I admit needing work in that area. Good to see you showing a good example.

Don't forget yourself when you get to step nine as well. Maybe you already have done this step. Have you made amends to yourself? Just a thought. I know it came as a suprise to me when my sponsor pointed out how I too was worth an amends. This was the start of me getting around to likeing myself again. You ARE a good person JaySee. It is clear and obvious from your posts. Too often we are the last people to see it(in ourselves) though.

Be well,

Rudiger

[reddove]

James.
All of what Rudiger said makes sense. 1 Month is absolutely awesome. Thank you for reminding me of what it was like, now at 667 days, or nearly 22 months. We must remember to make amends to the person we harmed the most-ourselves.
Richard

[Chy]

Ditto to Music! Sobriety is such a great deal!

[KelKel]

JC

I am happy that you are realizing what a truly wonderful person you are...


You remind me that it gets better each day and that is truly a blessing.

Love & Light JC