Our new group had it's founding meeting!

[Diane224]

Almost 2 months ago our group was evicted from what I called home for quite a few months. It was sudden and very suspicious and has certainly set back a lot of people.

But one of the old-timers started a new group after much looking around and they had their founding meeting last week. I didn't hear about it and came to the next meeting. It's a very small group, maybe 6 or so tops but we also have a group near me for the alternate days which I like very much (now only Thursdays and Saturdays don't have meetings).

I floundered like a fish out of water and had a slip - disappointed my husband and here I am back at the beginning again. I need my meetings everyday or at least every 2nd day.

Funny though, after this slip, I feel more guilt for doing it but I feel differently now. Hard to describe but different in a better way.

Maybe it is the realization that I CANNOT miss meetings - my family has to take second place for awhile, my priority has to be to remain sober.

Just thought I would share!

[Diane224]

About my slip...While it wasn't record setting for either the amount I drank or what I did, it was a mini-hell for me.

I found myself in a park, by myself on a park bench seriously considering sleeping under a tree. Interspersed with thoughts of jumping off of the bridge nearby. I took myself off to the local hotel where I got a room and sat down and completely gave myself to figuring out a way to kill myself. I was ashamed that I didn't even have the guts to do away with myself.

I sat on the bed in a room with no phone for 14 hours and I have never felt so awful in my life. I didn't get any voices from above but something made me find a quarter, pick up the phone and phone home. I didn't come to any great conclusions and I didn't have an epiphany but something is different today.

I got up and smiled, the sun is shining (yeah I noticed it) and I am going to go to work and try and start attacking the pile of work that I have let slide and hopefully I will still have a job.

I went to that meeting on Sunday, bared my soul - was totally honest I think and my goal this next while is to be just that - honest and let the chips fall where they may.

I have finished rambling now - so WAKE UP! :

[Little Missy]

I'm glad you starting to find your way!! Good for you!! I love going to my meetings too. Seems to keep me calm and focused!!

Hugs,
Missy

[Aladinsane]

You lkearned something from your slip Diane That you need to go to meetings, you are getting something out of them. Don't be too hard on yourself forgive and learn from it. Take care

[MootPoint]

Diane,
As Aladinsane said, you learned from your slip! Good for you! It kinda sux when you have to put your family second to your sobriety but........ think about it. By putting your sobriety first, you are helping your family. So, you are also putting your family first

I'm glad you found that quarter and called home and will send prayers your way re your job.

We recently had to move a meeting and it was a traumatic experience! Our town has meetings every day except thurs and I catch a ride to the next town over for that one.

[Diane224]

Thanks to you all!

I just came back from a step 3 meeting (now that couldn't have been planned better) and had a good day at work.

I think for the first time I am really realizing what it means to take it 1 day at a time.