21 and lovin it.

[Molendie]

hello everyone. Im tim, alcholic and addict. I read this forum and others, just about daily, but dont post that much unless i feel i have some valid input. Usually someone beats me to it though. But anyways, I have a problem, well not really a problem but just an interesting phase of life im going through right now that id like some feedback on.
June 7 was my 21st b-day, and if im still sober on june 15 ill have a yr sober. This year i was really just trying to play off my b-day and not think or celebrate it. Mainly cause i dont wanna remember im 21 now, and also b/c i did have big plans for that day for yeeeeeeeeeeears.
Everyday i have stuff i need to do and want to do. Somehow my to do list is NEVER complete. I always feel im letting God and myself down b/c i can ALWAYS do better at what im doing then i am. So those feelings erupted into a pity party late on my birthday and that bar down the street looked pretty apetizing...but i didnt drink, and im told thats all that matters. I wanna be the best person i can be, and thats something ill always strive for and never achieve.
Also with my job and new school schedule, meetings have been hard to get to as frequently and its rough. Thats the word of the day for me..."rough". Last night, on my b-day, as i lay craving, for really the first time in months, i felt those old pains, like i was jumpin outta my skin, like my stomach was about to bust. But i didnt drink. I watched that movie "drunks" with richard lewis, that helped a lil lol. Anyways, im rambling now. Sorry this is so long. If anyone replies ill add in a couple more things that im leaving out right now. Thanks for reading. God bless.
-Timmy

[Kathi]

Hey Timmy

Congratulations to you!!! It's great that you didn't take a drink. I know you may have had plans for 21 but you know what? I think we all thing there are special days that we are suppose to drink. But it's not necessary - instead of getting plowed and passing out and feeling like crap - you stayed sober and was able to express everything you said in your post.

Also - you HAVE a to do list - that's probably something you wouldn't have if you were still drinking. All you can do is to do your best and it sounds like you're doing it. Try to get to a meeting though - it's real important.

Oh ya, one last thing - even if you see something posted, YOU didn't post it - so never feel like you're being repetitive!

Hugs - Kathi

[Don W]

Hi Tim, Happy 21 B-Day. Also, keep up the good work on the year sobriety. I am 55 and just hit a year again. I hope you can stay with the program and not have to go through another 20 or 30 years of hell. I am sure you've heard this but, never enough. There will never ever be a time when it will get better. Hang in there and don't drink. Don W

[MootPoint]

Happy 21st bday! :bparty3 I'm feeling funky about the big 4-0. And congrats on coming up on a year!

You did the most important thing....... you did your bday sober, despite the tapes running in your head.

Everyday i have stuff i need to do and want to do. Somehow my to do list is NEVER complete. I always feel im letting God and myself down b/c i can ALWAYS do better at what im doing then i am

Are you sure about that? Possibly are you doing the best you can, at that given moment, at that given time, in whatever headspace you are in?

And......... if you feel like posting, POST Your post or reply, no matter how frivolous you might consider it to be, might just make that difference in someone's life. I know that all the replies I get make a difference, be them long, in depth replies or short ones (like this one)

[Chy]

First happy belated birthday! Second congrats on your upcoming year!!! That in itself at 21 is a great accomplishment, be proud of yourself. Sometimes it's okay to sit on that pity pot, just so long as you don't sit to long, you know, ring around the butt and all!! *LOL*. I think your being way to hard on yourself. Sometimes I too feel like life is moving to fast, to much work, not enough meetings, praying, journaling, working on program stuff, so really, we all go through it!

Prioritize the things that are important and add one thing not an absolute priority to your "Do-Do" list. Make it reasonable and achievable, then check it off daily. Try to do a little something each day and before you know it, you've slipped back into the routine of feeling like your accomplishing things.

I'm a master of disorganization some day's and I'm by nature an extremly organized person. But ya know what, those little defects don't bother me anymore. HP give us what we can handle and nothing more, have faith in that. Your doing awesome!!

[Molendie]

ONE YR TODAY!

21 and lovin it indeed. Im so happy, ive been disregarding this as "just another day" but it really has effected more for the bestestes so far! For so long ive said "give it a yr, if ur still not happy, screw it" but today i am SO happy. I dont wanna drink or drug anymore!
I wanna put my story in the story section, but does anyone know how long the limit is? Cause im only half done on word and its already 3 pages! But this forum has been such a big help, i feel priviledged and honored to be able to put MY story on here.
I just left my meeting, craziness, i hate standin up in front of people, and i did to anounce my anni, which i wasnt even gonna do but i needed to for sure! Now i got my 1st lead thurs. Infront of my dad no less, who is in alanon (duh). He started a celebrate recovery meeting at our church so it should be interesting. **dreads** im nervous as hek but hey, its an excuse to put on the old suit :8a:
Thanks everyone, i love u all even though i dont know u! Thats the miracle! God bless. now.... lets get back to the paaaaaaaaaaaarty!!!!!!
-timmy

[KelKel]

Molendie

Happy Birth-Day and congratulations for staying sober for a year.
Be proud of yourself, very proud.

[Molendie]

its lonely in here. could someone atleast awnser my question concerning the story forum?

[Don W]

Hi timmy, GREAT JOB! KEEP UP THE HARD WORK, IT CAN STILL GET EVEN BETTER.
Don W

[MootPoint]

Timmy...

the soonest you can put your story in is one year, which you have! Look forward to reading it!

[Molendie]

I know the one yr thing i was just wondering how long theyre suppose to be cause mines huge! lol

[Chy]

Whatever it takes to express you, and where you've been, how you did it and where your at now! Looking forward to it!

[Molendie]

Just thought Id let u know I FINALLY got my story up! I hope its not wrong format or something. Hopefully someone gets something out of it, if not i did just by getting all that out on the screen. Its a bet lengthy, 2 parts. But I had to tell my story, i acutually cut out like 2 pages lol. So if u want and have time, give it a rd. I really wanted to express myself and this disease better but for now its good, major overhaul is in the future. So like i said, give it a rd if u want <------ this will help u get started