Still trudging and still sober.
 

Hello All,

Years ago I was very active on this site and I wanted to stop in and say hello. I am still sober and have been for the last 7 years. It hasn't been quality sobriety but managed to stay physically sober.

I made the mistake of not going to meetings for 4 of the 7 years of sobriety. I dropped all contact with my sponsor, sponsee, and stopped going to meetings. I thought at the time that "I was good, I can take it from here."

I became a dry drunk. A life plagued with fears and resentments. My wife and I are getting a divorce and life has been tough. To be honest I think us splitting up would of happened regardless.

The good news is, is that I have been back into AA since July of this year. I got my sponsor again and although life lately has been the most stressful ever, AA has helped me survive each day as it comes.

Thanks for posting that. Ego, (Easing God Out) is one of our biggest hurdles. I'm glad your made it back with no more than a bad experience which could have been a whole lot worse. Welcome home.:herewego

Good to see you again music.

AA is the easier softer way. Welcome back and keep doing what you're because it is working

congratulations on your sober time Signal :)

D

I love a Vision for You. "Trudging the road to happy destiny" could not have been written better, IMO. It is spot on.

I think keeping spiritual is an important piece. I am still working on that. I am not there yet but every time I go to a meeting I feel a sense of peace. The fellowship keeps my strength up.

Glad you are back and happy you have remained sober. Keep coming back :)

Welcome back. The rewards of the AA program are worth the restraint necessary in accepting the people who are not doing it our way.

:c011:

one thing im very greatful for is that "trudge the road of happy destiny" is on pg 164 and not somewhere like int he front cover. I think iffen I woulda opened up the BB and read that before reading ALL of the promises I could see me thinkin,"what??? yer tellin me im gonna be trudging through a life of sobriety???"


glad ya made it back!!

Actually, when the BB was written (late 1930's) "trudge" meant "to walk with a sense of adventure or purpose"; it did not mean miserable, exhausting plodding along.

freya

Lol, freya, I was going to post the same thing a few days back, and then figured why bother. Once anyone has done this deal for a bit and has that 12th Step experience, they'll soon figure out what 'trudge' means in this context. Sorta like a rocket ride, some would say. :-)

I went to Clearwater beach, Florida in 1939. The only thing there was sand, water, bugs and nothing else. I trudged through the sand.

My Aunt's house in Tampa sat in the middle of nothing but sand, sand spurs, and rattlesnakes. When I came back in 1973, that house was one block from Busch Gardens.

I have trudged on the trails in the mountains with the explorer scouts and in the swamps while in the U. S. Marine Corps.

I learned to read in the 30s so trudging is a known activity.

Thanks Freya for taking me back to the way it was when the Big Book was written and I did a lot of walking back then.

:thanks

That is how I feel about it today in 2013!

While I don't like to hear of someone having difficulty, my heart is sooooo warmed whenever I hear someone get really honest. Too often I hear BB quoting and glorious stories of how wonderful everyone's life is at the meeting......which used to leave me sitting there wondering why I was the only one still having problems. Even now, it's sometimes tough to talk about what's REALLY going on because I want ppl to look up to me or respect me. Oddly enough, the more honest I get, the more respect I seem to get. I wonder what everyone was thinking when I was bs-ing about everything? lol.

I'd love to link to your post the next time the thread pops up.....and I'm sure it will.....when someone asks what a "dry drunk" is and the inevitable replies come back that it's a derogatory term, it doesn't really exist because not drinking is sober, and it's only used by mean AA sponsors to belittle their sponsees. ;)

Glad you made it back and I look forward to reading about your new/current application of the steps/program and the results. :c011:

Sorry about the bad turn on the home front. Good to hear you are meeting the challenge one day at a time. Good to hear you are back at meetings. Your story got me thinking. I'm trying to be as mindful as possible of my defects and emotional sobriety as well as emotional dependance. My marriage always seems to be on rocky ground. Where before I reacted with resentment I've tried to leave it in Gods hands and not get in the way. The result is a sort of unresolved stalemate and Cold War. It's also left me indecisive. I want to start going to meetings not only to help my recovery but also to help my marriage. My wife is against that idea though and I'm too gutless to make a stand on it or any other burning issues in order to avoid an argument and blistering resentment. Catch 22. At least coming to this site helps me capture some of what you get out of meetings.
I'm hoping that in time the answers will come if I don't force them.

Thank you all for your kinds words. I can tell you through experience that life can be just as miserable sober as it can drunk if you allow it. The old habit of trying to do things by your will can always creep in if you allow it.

My will leaves me depressed, resentful and paralyzed with fears. The good thing is, is that the moment you go back to turning it over to God and refreshing the principals of the 3rd step, thing feel better immediately.

The first part of getting better is feeling better.

Taking back my will does the same to me. It is funny that the answer is "let go" yet it seems so difficult to get there.

Our (my) brain spends so much time trying to work out the problem and go over every scenario that I forget the answer is always right in front of me. My itty bitty drive me crazy committee love to have meetings.

"Let it go" and "if it is meant to be it will be" are two that I need remind myself of almost daily. If I don't I will obsess over it. In fact I was just praying over an issue this morning and "if is meant to be" is where I should have gone. Thanks for reminding me!

Welcome back to the rooms and thank you for sharing!