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Special composition groups/meetings

Old 11-12-2013, 08:44 AM
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Special composition groups/meetings

Although 'AA process' topics are not nearly as much fun as 'spiritual journey' topics, a comment made on another thread got me thinking about this, and the 12 Step thread is the appropriate place to hear your thoughts on it.

I stole the term 'special composition groups' from another. It seems an appropriate term to describe groups or meetings that have a narrower focus and membership than simply 'alcoholic'. This would include groups specifically targeted to men, women, bikers, young people, Vets, etc. I have mixed feelings about these groups. One the one hand I can see the value of having a group of people that I can identify with. Let's face it, the 19 year old woman walking into a meeting filled with 50 year old men is not going to feel like she fits in very well. I see the point in some of these meetings.

On the other hand, doesn't our singleness of purpose, our anonymity, and our unity transcend these other perceived differences between us? For the purpose of an AA meeting, I walk through the doors as an alcoholic. What binds me to the others there is a common problem and a common solution, and all the other things with which I identify myself are somewhat irrelevant in that place. We are people who normally would not mix, but there we are, joined together in action with a common solution to our common problem.

Thoughts, anyone?
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Old 11-12-2013, 08:53 AM
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I think that on issues such as this, it is best to let the group conscience decide at a business meeting. More meetings is better than fewer, so if there is perceived demand for additional meetings to accommodate a special group, then by all means go ahead.
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Old 11-12-2013, 09:00 AM
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my thought is the best solution is for some stepwork to find out why it bothers you.

live and let live
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Old 11-12-2013, 09:51 AM
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My personal experience is that in early recovery having the availability of a "special composition group" namely a woman's group was very important to my sobriety. As someone who is a survivor of growing up with a pedophile for a father and rape as an adult my trust in men in general was pretty low. I felt much safer in a women's group than a mixed group in early sobriety because that was when I felt most vulnerable. I was really uncomfortable with all of the hugging people do in AA which is one reason mixed meetings felt so uncomfortable plus opening up in front of men left me feeling way to vulnerable. I am not sure if I would have survived that first few years of sobriety if it were not for having women's meetings available to me for when I was going through more vulnerable periods of time.

Today, I go to mixed meetings but I am very thankful that the women's meetings were available to me when I needed them.
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Old 11-12-2013, 10:19 AM
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I too have mixed feelings for Special composition groups.

We have Alano Clubs designed to look and feel like bars complete with most of the amenities found at a typical bar. They have pool tables, vending machines, card tables and pinball machines. They even had cigarette machines when the law allowed them. Now they have heated/air-conditioned tents set up outside for smokers. I don't exactly feel unsafe in them (went to thousands of similar places while drinking) except I do hold onto my wallet while I am in there. They also have card-sharks, pool hustlers, con-men, prostitutes, pick-pockets and drug dealers. On the positive side, these clubs offer 3 - 5 AA meetings a day and can be a potential source for sponsee's if you can set up healthy boundary's to protect yourself from the con-artists.

There are also meetings where ALL the closest parking spots are reserved for motorcycles only. I don't even need to go into meetings like that to figure out that they are special-composition-groups.

There is a meeting with a typical sounding AA group name listed in the directory that attracted me because it had a name that sounded "nice". It was held in a D.A.V. hall with lots of flags on the building. That did not put me off though as I am a Vet myself. Within 5 seconds of walking in the door, an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair welcomed me by saying "If you expect to bring that Big Book in here we will shove it up your a$$. I left immediately and never went back. I found out later that it is not safe to go there if you want to talk about 12 steps, God or anything remotely spiritual. It is 100% about warstories of the real war kind.

There is a "Men's group" where I was told you can use as much colorful language as you want without offending anyone. I tried it once and it looked like a place I could feel at home at. Until they were in the middle of reading the preamble and got to the part where it says "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking". A tough looking guy wearing 98% leather and 2% chains jumped up and yelled "I'll shoot the first SOB that says otherwise!". I asked what looked like a good-old-timer after the meeting what that was about? He said "Don't worry about that guy, he says that at every meeting and hasn't produced a gun yet". I got to thinking, "Would a church put up with a guy like that? Would any group of sane people put up with a guy like that? Isn't it a crime to shout something like that in a crowd of people?" I never went back because drama and chaos is not what I am now looking for.

There is a cluster of special-purpose-groups that call themselves "The Dignitaries" that I have a love/hate relationship with. They practice "Tough Love", encourage cross-talk and peck apart newcomers by interrupting them and telling them when their BS is spattering everyone else's shoes. At first I thought they were being mean spirited and drove away newcomers in droves. But after watching them for a while, I saw that they truly are a "Men's Support Group". They say they are not just a meeting and I now believe it. They help each other outside the meeting with rides, jobs, housing and legal advice at a level way beyond the average meeting. I am starting to rethink my judgement of them. There is some history about them at:

Brownie's and the Dignitaries Sympathy Groups
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Old 11-12-2013, 02:19 PM
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Originally Posted by Boleo View Post
I too have mixed feelings for Special composition groups. We have Alano Clubs designed to look and feel like bars complete with most of the amenities found at a typical bar. They have pool tables, vending machines, card tables and pinball machines. They even had cigarette machines when the law allowed them. Now they have heated/air-conditioned tents set up outside for smokers. I don't exactly feel unsafe in them (went to thousands of similar places while drinking) except I do hold onto my wallet while I am in there. They also have card-sharks, pool hustlers, con-men, prostitutes, pick-pockets and drug dealers. On the positive side, these clubs offer 3 - 5 AA meetings a day and can be a potential source for sponsee's if you can set up healthy boundary's to protect yourself from the con-artists. There are also meetings where ALL the closest parking spots are reserved for motorcycles only. I don't even need to go into meetings like that to figure out that they are special-composition-groups. There is a meeting with a typical sounding AA group name listed in the directory that attracted me because it had a name that sounded "nice". It was held in a D.A.V. hall with lots of flags on the building. That did not put me off though as I am a Vet myself. Within 5 seconds of walking in the door, an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair welcomed me by saying "If you expect to bring that Big Book in here we will shove it up your a$$. I left immediately and never went back. I found out later that it is not safe to go there if you want to talk about 12 steps, God or anything remotely spiritual. It is 100% about warstories of the real war kind. There is a "Men's group" where I was told you can use as much colorful language as you want without offending anyone. I tried it once and it looked like a place I could feel at home at. Until they were in the middle of reading the preamble and got to the part where it says "The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking". A tough looking guy wearing 98% leather and 2% chains jumped up and yelled "I'll shoot the first SOB that says otherwise!". I asked what looked like a good-old-timer after the meeting what that was about? He said "Don't worry about that guy, he says that at every meeting and hasn't produced a gun yet". I got to thinking, "Would a church put up with a guy like that? Would any group of sane people put up with a guy like that? Isn't it a crime to shout something like that in a crowd of people?" I never went back because drama and chaos is not what I am now looking for. There is a cluster of special-purpose-groups that call themselves "The Dignitaries" that I have a love/hate relationship with. They practice "Tough Love", encourage cross-talk and peck apart newcomers by interrupting them and telling them when their BS is spattering everyone else's shoes. At first I thought they were being mean spirited and drove away newcomers in droves. But after watching them for a while, I saw that they truly are a "Men's Support Group". They say they are not just a meeting and I now believe it. They help each other outside the meeting with rides, jobs, housing and legal advice at a level way beyond the average meeting. I am starting to rethink my judgement of them. There is some history about them at: Brownie's and the Dignitaries Sympathy Groups
I love these types of stories - they remind me AA survives inspire of ourselves sometimes.

My understanding is there is a difference between a meeting and a group. We have a few single sex meetings here in NZ and a lot just operate as meetings which means they don't feed into the service structure, they just do their own thing and don't participate in AA as a whole in my country.

Personally over the years I've adopted the approach if it helps people then it can't be all bad. Has taken me along time to get to this point though.
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Old 11-12-2013, 03:44 PM
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AA has had special groups for a very long time. It hasn't hurt the fellowship. Some folks love those meetings and recover nicely.

That really is good enough for me.
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Old 11-12-2013, 04:04 PM
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The only question is, "Are the Traditions being Kept"

I know of a men's group that meets Sunday nights, but since they are first and foremost an AA group in accordance with the 3rd Tradition if a woman shows up whe needs a meeting, she is welcomed. Now if that stricture is not being met the District DSR needs to tell the group in question they have every right to run their meeting as they wish, but not as an AA group

However if the Traditions are being kept and it still bothers a person, then

Apply Rule 62
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Old 11-12-2013, 06:48 PM
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where is the overall Unity with these groups and the usual AA groups?
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Old 11-12-2013, 09:11 PM
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I too am neither here nor there with these special composition groups. We have there here - for those who speak Greek or Polish or Spanish, for young people, LGBT, men's, women's, etc. I have attended many of them, and for me as long as they hold to the Traditions and carry the message as outlined in the BB, I am ok with it.

It is funny that for a while I heard that there wasn't anything for the "young people". They too went on about walking into rooms with middle aged or senior men and not feeling a part of, etc. So they started up two younger people meetings, and they started strong and then faded and were gone and delisted within 6 months. It was worth a shot, I guess, but many realized that perhaps those old timer meetings were actually not as bad as they thought

I too have been to one of those all-out, cross-talking men's meetings and it just wasn't my cup of tea. it was interesting (as was going to an atheist meeting), and I am sure many found the message being carried well there, but it wasn't a fit for me...and that is ok. We all have the groups and meetings that we can identify more with...and perhaps that is the crux of it. I should be able to identify at any meeting, but if one of these groups keeps one or two of those who may have wandered away at first...then it's a good thing.
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Old 11-13-2013, 11:47 AM
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special composition groups/meetings

I have a home group that meets at 7am every day except Sunday.

They are the only meetings that I attend.

Each meeting has a different topic as decided by group conscience and changes occur during the year as desired by the group.

I am in the minority of two men in their 80s and we have one man in his 90s who attends when his children bring him.

The other minority are in their teens.

The majority are in their 40s and 50s.

Actually, we have about the same mix as the ages on SR.

And we have a lot of sobriety over 20 and 30 years as well as people picking up one day chips and less than a year. Also a lot of people picking up chips between 1 and 20 years. Meeting attendance is 60, 100, and sometimes 250.

Some of our members go to special composition groups but got sober at my HG. Bottom line: It's whatever you want it to be.

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