As Bill Sees It 8/6/13
As Bill Sees It 8/6/13
As Bill Sees It
August 6, 2013
Happy–When We’re Free, p. 218
For most normal folks, drinking means release from care, boredom, and worry. It means joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good.
But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking delusion that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt–and one more failure.
We are sure God would like to see us happy, joyous, and free. Hence, we cannot subscribe to the belief that this life necessarily has to be a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it became clear that most of the time we had made our own misery.
Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st Edition
1. p. 151 (A Vision For You)
2. pg 133 (The Family Afterwards)
August 6, 2013
Happy–When We’re Free, p. 218
For most normal folks, drinking means release from care, boredom, and worry. It means joyous intimacy with friends and a feeling that life is good.
But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking delusion that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt–and one more failure.
* ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
We are sure God would like to see us happy, joyous, and free. Hence, we cannot subscribe to the belief that this life necessarily has to be a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us. But it became clear that most of the time we had made our own misery.
Alcoholics Anonymous, 1st Edition
1. p. 151 (A Vision For You)
2. pg 133 (The Family Afterwards)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
It was hard to accept in the end stages of my active chronic alcoholism, that my thinking was delusional.
Somehow I could drink, maybe not normally, but for Pete's sake derive some enjoyment from it.
Sad in many ways that I defined a new normal when drinking: as long as I didn't leave the house, not make any telephone calls, didn't get in trouble anyway, didn't drive drunk, etc. then I was controlling my drinking.
I perverted the saying "It's nobody's fault but my own." People tended to lay off of me if I told them that. I didn't believe it, but they'd leave me to "enjoy" my drink,
all of the time blaming them and circumstances. Of course it wasn't my fault!
Pretty pretty sad!
Somehow I could drink, maybe not normally, but for Pete's sake derive some enjoyment from it.
Sad in many ways that I defined a new normal when drinking: as long as I didn't leave the house, not make any telephone calls, didn't get in trouble anyway, didn't drive drunk, etc. then I was controlling my drinking.
I perverted the saying "It's nobody's fault but my own." People tended to lay off of me if I told them that. I didn't believe it, but they'd leave me to "enjoy" my drink,
all of the time blaming them and circumstances. Of course it wasn't my fault!
Pretty pretty sad!
My pointed that family afterward passage to me quite a bit ago, and continues to do so all the time, especially when I am consumed with negativity (which seems to be happening a lot lately). I am not throwing my hands up, and realize there is a lesson here to be learned, but that doesn't change the fact that I still feel this way. Trudge away.
Cool post. I have spent a bit of time around people who drunk, sometimes rather heavily, in the last year. The one thing I have noticed is that the next day their lives carry on as normal. In the end this was not my experience so it fascinates me that people can go out, have a few drinks, maybe get drunk then go home, sleep it off and get up and go to work the next day.
In the end, for me, when I drank I just added to the mess my life had become. I.e I got arrested or got so drunk I couldn't turn up for work or whatever it was I was meant to do. Then of course I'd drink to get over feeling guilty.
It was on ongoing cycle which only got broken when I went to a treatment centre.
In the end, for me, when I drank I just added to the mess my life had become. I.e I got arrested or got so drunk I couldn't turn up for work or whatever it was I was meant to do. Then of course I'd drink to get over feeling guilty.
It was on ongoing cycle which only got broken when I went to a treatment centre.
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