Notices

Sponsor

Old 07-08-2013, 05:43 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: atlanta ga
Posts: 69
Originally Posted by pixy View Post
I asked for advice and you guys sure did give it to me!

I think acceptance of having a problem has always been hard. I chose not to drink, but never really got that I was an alcoholic. Even now, I can't quite smash through, and so everything else feels false. I think that is why I went to see an addiction specialist. I wanted him to say, yes you are an alcoholic. It doesn't really work like that though.

It was hard to read some of the replies, but they were all true. In almost 6 years of AA, I have always kept myself at a distance, not really sharing, not doing chairs. Always feeling a fraud, and maybe not allowing people to get close in case they discover I really shouldn't be here.
I am glad you are having an open mind about this
in the 12/12 the first line on the first step says
who cares to admit complete defeat??

I struggled for years before I crawled into AA to control my drinking
later I tried to quit
I was good at quitting
I just could not stay quit
AA showed me how to stay quit
one day at a time
you can get sober and stay sober if you surrender in step one then go to step two
I had to be restored to sanity
and on with each step

but it is based on a daily reprieve
hugs
deb
grammydeb is offline  
Old 07-08-2013, 09:10 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Peace, Love, Sobriety
 
FlyerFan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by pixy View Post
Looking from some advice.
I was 5 years sober, and got a sponsor about 4 years into recovery. We had almost made it through the steps when I picked up a drink earlier this year.

I rang her, and we discussed the slip, and I rang a few more times, but then stopped. I stopped AA, and got on with the business of drinking. I then booked into see an addiction specialist, and have recently started attending AA again, maybe 1 meeting every couple of weeks, but I have yet to go back to my home group.

Probably inappropriately I was upset that my sponsor did not try to contact me at all, and in the bigger picture only 1 person from my home group actually texted me to see if I was okay. Sure it was pride and all the rest, but I felt hurt that I just disappeared off the scene, and it was like I had never even been there.

Rambling, now, my question, is my sponsor still my sponsor, how would you take things forward. My addiction specialist is suggesting a new sponsor.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.
I know you probably feel hurt or offended that no one contacted you, but generally when someone slips there is little we can do to help them until they are honest enough with themselves to come back to us.

The question you need to ask yourself is, do you want that same sponsor? Or do you think you need to try a new one? What will be most helpful to YOUR sobriety.
FlyerFan is offline  
Old 08-05-2013, 12:59 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: London Uk
Posts: 65
I rang my sponsor, and as always she was very pleasant. We arranged to meet up, and eventually the conversation came around to where we go from here. She suggested that I need a fresh start with a new sponsor. I honestly thought that if she said that I would take it personally and be really hacked off, but she was right, and we have parted on very good terms. I have since been at meetings where for once I have shared honestly. I think seeing an addiction therapist has also helped me speak out loud about myself and this has transferred into the room.
pixy is offline  
Old 08-05-2013, 04:30 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Member
 
Kathleen41's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: FL
Posts: 698
Smile

Pray to God for the knowledge of his will and the strength to carry it out, a new sponsor will appear, and everything will be just as it is supposed to be!!

Thanks for letting us know how it's going; keep up the good work!!
Kathleen41 is offline  
Old 08-05-2013, 07:17 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
SR Fan
 
artsoul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Sounds like you're making some positive changes, pixy - that's great! Glad everything's good with your former sponsor, too.
artsoul is offline  
Old 08-06-2013, 08:13 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Grateful to be free
 
Threshold's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Pixy,

A few similar experiences opened my eyes to the fact that I alone am responsible for my recovery and my program. That was a critical lesson to learn. At my first meetings I heard so much about the amazing friendships, how the AA group was like one big family and you could count on these people no matter what, and I swallowed it hook line and sinker then felt shocked when it wasn't the case. I thought that somehow I was the only one who wasn't part of this great big happy family. Truth was...the group is a bunch of people learning to live again and doing the best they can.

I hit the ground and hard, but it was something I needed to know and understand...reality. In deed, the 12 steps are the heart of the program that will keep us sober...not the people. Not the meetings. Not 14 "how ya doin" phone calls. All those things are awesome and I hope everyone has them, but it's the steps and applying those principles in all our affairs.

It hurts when things we wanted to believe in fall through for us, but I learned that boo hooing did me no good, but continuing with the steps did. For me, drinking is not the answer, depending on other people is not the answer, needing to be held up on tough days isn't the answer. The purpose of building and maintaining a relationship with a HP is because ultimately it is the only thing that we KNOW we can depend on.

My HP is not supernatural, but I can depend on it 24/7 just the same. So far it has never let me down.
Threshold is offline  
Old 08-06-2013, 08:23 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Been there done that.

I've sponsored many and many have sponsored me.

I've relapsed they relapsed.

Don't know what's best.

I got another sponsor, moved on, went back to my home group.


AA isn't a professional organization so i'm weary
about a specialist giving out advice on AA.
wiscsober is offline  
Old 08-06-2013, 08:41 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: NE Wisconsin USA
Posts: 6,223
Leery!

Me bad speller. sorry.
wiscsober is offline  
Old 08-06-2013, 11:37 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
Member
 
UncleMeat69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Laconia
Posts: 813
Originally Posted by wiscsober View Post
Leery!

Me bad speller. sorry.
Both words will work..........
UncleMeat69 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:50 PM.