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Crazy Thoughts of drinking

Old 07-04-2013, 09:21 PM
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Unhappy Crazy Thoughts of drinking

Hi all! I'm in my 144th day of sobriety, working with a great sponsor, still going to meetings every day and actively working the steps. I believe in this program. It has changed my life!

I'm going to be out of town, visiting a friend, surprising her for her 40th birthday next week. I've already made plans to attend meetings, discussed my sobriety with her husband and am ready to take my first trip alone, sober. Luckily I'm only going to be gone about 72 hours, but my alcoholic brain is already playing tricks on me. I can hear, "No one will know, you can just have one." "It's just to celebrate."

Oddly enough, I don't have the urge to drink, but my thoughts do. I admit I'm afraid of going, but i have to do this sometime. I'm trying to make these thoughts lose their power now - well in advance. I'll keep sharing this every night at meetings.

Has anyone ever been through sketching like this? Any experience, strength & hope would be appreciated!

Thanks!!!
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Old 07-04-2013, 09:39 PM
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If you don't mind, can I ask where you're at in the twelve step process ?
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Old 07-05-2013, 04:03 AM
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Make an escape plan, and use it if it gets to be too much.

Get this done. It will give you some experience and build confidence. We don't stop living and having fun and being close to the ones we love. And those crazy thoughts is just that alcoholism thing, you know? Learn to dismiss them, let them go, don't engage them. I think adding a little AVRT to our AA for times like these is not a bad thing.
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Old 07-05-2013, 05:32 AM
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This reminded me of a Big Book quote posted on one of my threads from Veritas!! Go to the weekend getaway, in fit spiritual condition, keep your sponsors number and a few back-ups handy just in case. Make sure you have your own transportation so you can leave if you uncomfortable, and go to meetings while away from home group. Have a great time!!

"Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all.

We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place like the Greenland Ice Cap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up with a bottle of scotch and ruin everything! Ask any woman who has sent her husband to distant places on the theory he would escape the alcohol problem.

In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.

So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there. That includes bars, nightclubs, dances, receptions, weddings, even plain ordinary whoopee parties. To a person who has had experience with an alcoholic, this may seem like tempting Providence, but it isn’t.

You will note that we made and important qualification. Therefore, ask yourself on each occasion, “Have I any good social, business, or personal reason for going to this place? Or am I expecting to steal a little vicarious pleasure from the atmosphere of such places?” If you answer these questions satisfactorily, you need have no apprehension. Go or stay away, whichever seems best. But be sure you are on solid spiritual ground before you start and that your motive in going is thoroughly good. Do not think of what you will get out of the occasion. Think of what you can bring to it. But if you are shaky, you had better work with another alcoholic instead!

Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don’t start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.

Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.

Many of us keep liquor in our homes. We often need it to carry green recruits through a severe hangover. Some of us still serve it to our friends provided they are not alcoholic. But some of us think we should not serve liquor to anyone. We never argue this question. We feel that each family, in the light of their own circumstances, ought to decide for themselves.

We are careful never to show intolerance or hatred of drinking as an institution. Experience shows that such an attitude is not helpful to anyone. Every new alcoholic looks for this spirit among us and is immensely relieved when he finds we are not witchburners. A spirit of intolerance might repel alcoholics whose lives could have been saved, had it not been for such stupidity. We would not even do the cause of temperate drinking any good, for not one drinker in a thousand likes to be told anything about alcohol by one who hates it.

Some day we hope that Alcoholics Anonymous will help the public to a better realization of the gravity of the alcoholic problem, but we shall be of little use if our attitude is one of bitterness or hostility. Drinkers will not stand for it.

After all, our problems were of our own making. Bottles were only a symbol. Besides, we have stopped fighting anybody or anything. We have to!"

Working With Others
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Old 07-05-2013, 06:00 AM
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Originally Posted by redflags View Post
Hi all! I'm in my 144th day of sobriety, working with a great sponsor, still going to meetings every day and actively working the steps. I believe in this program. It has changed my life!



Has anyone ever been through sketching like this? Any experience, strength & hope would be appreciated!

Thanks!!!
A "Plan B" is important .. an escape option so you don't feel trapped.

I'm sure you have discussed this with your sponsor and the trusted oldtimers in your group. Follow their direction not mine. They know you and your situation.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 07-05-2013, 07:17 AM
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Mick3580. - I'm finishing up my 9th step. I have one last amends to make and am going to do it on Sunday evening. My sponsor really wants my 9th step done before I go, to which I'm in agreement.

All - thank you for your suggestions & Big Book quote! I think getting past this experience will represent a milestone in my recovery... It's just a squirrely road to get past & I'm reaching out for support every place I can get it. If
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Old 07-05-2013, 07:26 AM
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Support is very important. Good direction even more-so ... Put the two together and you will certainly be successful.

All the best.

Bob R
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Old 07-05-2013, 07:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Mark75 View Post
Make an escape plan, and use it if it gets to be too much.

Get this done. It will give you some experience and build confidence. We don't stop living and having fun and being close to the ones we love. And those crazy thoughts is just that alcoholism thing, you know? Learn to dismiss them, let them go, don't engage them. I think adding a little AVRT to our AA for times like these is not a bad thing.
I really like what Mark75 says here, those crazy thoughts are just alcoholism, plain and simple. We're alcoholics, we think about alcohol...A LOT!! And I hear it gets better with more time, but for right now, the thoughts still come out of years of habit. It's what you do with the thoughts that's important.

Use your program tools, keep it simple, call your sponsor, leave before you're ready to leave, treat yourself well. You can do this!!
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Old 07-05-2013, 10:38 AM
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Originally Posted by redflags View Post
Mick3580. - I'm finishing up my 9th step. I have one last amends to make and am going to do it on Sunday evening. My sponsor really wants my 9th step done before I go, to which I'm in agreement.

All - thank you for your suggestions & Big Book quote! I think getting past this experience will represent a milestone in my recovery... It's just a squirrely road to get past & I'm reaching out for support every place I can get it. If
I keep fit spiritually when I practice the 5 parts of Step 10 on a regular basis.
My sponsor told me to do this as soon as I finished Step 8 and even when doing
my amends. He said it is our "insurance plan."

Middle of Page 84 of the Big Book says:

Step Ten suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for a lifetime. Then Bill W. gives us the five Parts:

Part 1.) Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear. This is what we did in our 4th. Step - so by doing this each day we are doing a daily Step 4.

Part 2.) When these crop up, we ask God to remove them at once. We did this in Steps 6 & 7. If not removed we continue to Part 3.

Part 3.) We discuss them with someone immediately. Just like we did in Step 5. During that discussion our sponsor will probably ask "Did you make amends to the person you harmed ?" If not, proceed to Part 4.

Part 4.) And make amends quickly if we have harmed someone. Steps 8 & 9. If all of the above fail to resolve our resentments then proceed to Part 5.

Part 5.) Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. (First half of Step 12.) Thus, go to a meeting and find a suffering newcomer and take him/her for
coffee and listen to their situation. That will take you right out of your own problems and you will be doing the second half of Step 12 - carrying the message.

When I ask the question in AA Meetings - "Does anyone know the 5 parts of the 10th. Step" - I seldom get an answer, just a lot of puzzled looks.
When my sponsor laid this on me the first time in my sobriety he said many alky's lives would be a lot easier if they did Step 10 regularly.

Living this way has indeed proved to me that working and living the 5 Parts of the 10th. Step is the easier, softer way. I never have had to do a lifetime 4th. Step again because I am doing one every day. In my first 4th. I had to list a lifetime of garbage that was buried deep down inside me that I was carring around for years. Booze enabled me to bear the weight. But in sobriety I can't carry that kind of a load and have serenity at the same time. You can't be full of s--t and feel good.

Step 10 is called a Maintenance Step for an important reason. By working it regularly I am working Steps 4 thru 9 every day and Step 12 regularly when possible. Isn't that how "We practice these principals in all our affairs ?

Keep up the good work Red.

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Old 07-05-2013, 09:27 PM
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It takes a while for the mental stuff to fade, but it will in time.

I agree that having a plan B (maybe C, and D, too!) is the way to go. The concepts in AVRT helped me a lot, too. Take some recovery materials and/or sign in to SR on the mornings you're away (it just sets the tone for the day).

It's totally normal for us to have those thoughts run through our mind..... it doesn't mean we have to act on them. I like the old saying:
"You can't stop birds from flying over your head, but you can prevent them from building nests in your hair."
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Old 07-06-2013, 06:19 PM
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you admit you are afraid of going
in step 4 you should have learned a tool for that fear.
It is simple
We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.

Perhaps there is a better way-we think so. For we are now on a different basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

We never apologize for God. Instead we let Him demonstrate, through us, what He can do. We ask Him to remove our fear and direct our attention to what He would have us be. At once, we commence to outgrow fear.

prayer is the tool,and right action after the prayer is another tool

this text below works,and I have used it many times

Just to the extent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.

get your thinking right and you will do fine
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