Inpatient treatment was the best solution for me
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Inpatient treatment was the best solution for me
I often voice my displeasure with recovery systems and methods, but I wanted to change my tone and actually talk about something that really helped me. Never in a million years did I think I'd end up in rehab. But my drinking had become impossible to control. I'd had three withdrawl seizures, the writing was on the wall. Simply going to an AA meeting or "finding a new hobby" wasn't going to cut it - I needed an intense, crash-course in sobriety.
I was scared, didn't want to go, but the specialists, doctors, and family members all agreed it was best and I was too tired to argue anymore. Inpatient treatment was no joke, I was at a university/state hospital so there weren't too many frills. Shared a room, no cell phones, complete lockdown (ie: you leave the facility, you're kicked out). There were about 50 patients in total, men and women, and we all attended lectures together. I was assigned to a group consisting of 8-10 guys for small "discussion" sessions, we also had our own specific counselors. My group was a "hardcore user" group - pills, crack, coke, heroin, alcohol, with many of the guys facing prison time or just had come out of prison. Some young kids also, to give them a scare. I often hated being in the "bad guys" group because I didn't see myself as so terrible, but I quickly realized we had important similarities that really mattered. We bonded, we cheered for each other, we shared stories, I watched grown men cry, I saw fights, counselors being tested, etc. We used AA-based thinking in treatment, and also had a mandatory public meeting once per week that we attended. AA wasn't the cornerstone of the program but it was nice to get an introduction to how it works.
Now the bad part: in the States, it's quite a pain to start the process. I had my family & friends' support, financial resources, and I was willing to go - yet I STILL remember having to get up at 6am and have my dad drive me to get an "assessment" at a local center, then was put on a waiting list. Luckily I had a place to stay and people to help me during the wait.
I think my views towards AA have been somewhat skewed thanks to treatment - inpatient rehab was like jumping into the deep ocean without a life vest...and the AA fellowship and lifestyle method, the steps, the sponsorships....seems like starting back at the shallow end of the pool. I understand it works for some and respect it. But treatment worked for me because of the intensity of the program and the no-nonsense approach. Over 11 months of sobriety and still going strong!
If you have the support and really want to beat this thing, I'd encourage anyone thinking of treatment to give it a shot. It's not easy, but that's a good thing. Anyone on the fence? I vote "DO IT". Good luck to all in your quest for a sober life and thanks for letting me share.
I was scared, didn't want to go, but the specialists, doctors, and family members all agreed it was best and I was too tired to argue anymore. Inpatient treatment was no joke, I was at a university/state hospital so there weren't too many frills. Shared a room, no cell phones, complete lockdown (ie: you leave the facility, you're kicked out). There were about 50 patients in total, men and women, and we all attended lectures together. I was assigned to a group consisting of 8-10 guys for small "discussion" sessions, we also had our own specific counselors. My group was a "hardcore user" group - pills, crack, coke, heroin, alcohol, with many of the guys facing prison time or just had come out of prison. Some young kids also, to give them a scare. I often hated being in the "bad guys" group because I didn't see myself as so terrible, but I quickly realized we had important similarities that really mattered. We bonded, we cheered for each other, we shared stories, I watched grown men cry, I saw fights, counselors being tested, etc. We used AA-based thinking in treatment, and also had a mandatory public meeting once per week that we attended. AA wasn't the cornerstone of the program but it was nice to get an introduction to how it works.
Now the bad part: in the States, it's quite a pain to start the process. I had my family & friends' support, financial resources, and I was willing to go - yet I STILL remember having to get up at 6am and have my dad drive me to get an "assessment" at a local center, then was put on a waiting list. Luckily I had a place to stay and people to help me during the wait.
I think my views towards AA have been somewhat skewed thanks to treatment - inpatient rehab was like jumping into the deep ocean without a life vest...and the AA fellowship and lifestyle method, the steps, the sponsorships....seems like starting back at the shallow end of the pool. I understand it works for some and respect it. But treatment worked for me because of the intensity of the program and the no-nonsense approach. Over 11 months of sobriety and still going strong!
If you have the support and really want to beat this thing, I'd encourage anyone thinking of treatment to give it a shot. It's not easy, but that's a good thing. Anyone on the fence? I vote "DO IT". Good luck to all in your quest for a sober life and thanks for letting me share.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: The Deep South
Posts: 14,636
+1
I did an outpatient for 20 days. I would highly recommend it as well. And I liked it for similar reasons you mentioned. It helped me by getting around others with a similar problem, opening up and sharing, and looking at things honestly.
I did an outpatient for 20 days. I would highly recommend it as well. And I liked it for similar reasons you mentioned. It helped me by getting around others with a similar problem, opening up and sharing, and looking at things honestly.
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Originally Posted by bigsombrero 
Never in a million years did I think I'd end up in rehab.
Augusten Burroughs wrote in Dry: A Memoir, "some people consider rehab to be the ambulance that delivers you to AA."
The six weeks I spent in outpatient rehab was the start of my recovery, not the solution to my problem.
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,284
I have done 3 in-patient treatment programs and many, many outpatients and "sober living houses". Looking back, I'm not sure if they were helpful or not. I do believe I got more out of them when I really tried though. The best one I went to was when I had insurance & the 28 day program was good. It had good food, nice bed, lots of activities and great therapists. The State run ones I attended seemed to focus on the "punishment style" of rehab. They used a lot of scare tactics but the truth was half the class had been to prison and homeless shelters.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Originally Posted by bigsombrero
I often voice my displeasure with recovery systems and methods, but I wanted to change my tone and actually talk about something that really helped me. Never in a million years did I think I'd end up in rehab. But my drinking had become impossible to control. I'd had three withdrawl seizures, the writing was on the wall. Simply going to an AA meeting or "finding a new hobby" wasn't going to cut it - I needed an intense, crash-course in sobriety.
I was scared, didn't want to go, but the specialists, doctors, and family members all agreed it was best and I was too tired to argue anymore. Inpatient treatment was no joke, I was at a university/state hospital so there weren't too many frills. Shared a room, no cell phones, complete lockdown (ie: you leave the facility, you're kicked out). There were about 50 patients in total, men and women, and we all attended lectures together. I was assigned to a group consisting of 8-10 guys for small "discussion" sessions, we also had our own specific counselors. My group was a "hardcore user" group - pills, crack, coke, heroin, alcohol, with many of the guys facing prison time or just had come out of prison. Some young kids also, to give them a scare. I often hated being in the "bad guys" group because I didn't see myself as so terrible, but I quickly realized we had important similarities that really mattered. We bonded, we cheered for each other, we shared stories, I watched grown men cry, I saw fights, counselors being tested, etc. We used AA-based thinking in treatment, and also had a mandatory public meeting once per week that we attended. AA wasn't the cornerstone of the program but it was nice to get an introduction to how it works.
Now the bad part: in the States, it's quite a pain to start the process. I had my family & friends' support, financial resources, and I was willing to go - yet I STILL remember having to get up at 6am and have my dad drive me to get an "assessment" at a local center, then was put on a waiting list. Luckily I had a place to stay and people to help me during the wait.
I think my views towards AA have been somewhat skewed thanks to treatment - inpatient rehab was like jumping into the deep ocean without a life vest...and the AA fellowship and lifestyle method, the steps, the sponsorships....seems like starting back at the shallow end of the pool. I understand it works for some and respect it. But treatment worked for me because of the intensity of the program and the no-nonsense approach. Over 11 months of sobriety and still going strong!
If you have the support and really want to beat this thing, I'd encourage anyone thinking of treatment to give it a shot. It's not easy, but that's a good thing. Anyone on the fence? I vote "DO IT". Good luck to all in your quest for a sober life and thanks for letting me share.
I was scared, didn't want to go, but the specialists, doctors, and family members all agreed it was best and I was too tired to argue anymore. Inpatient treatment was no joke, I was at a university/state hospital so there weren't too many frills. Shared a room, no cell phones, complete lockdown (ie: you leave the facility, you're kicked out). There were about 50 patients in total, men and women, and we all attended lectures together. I was assigned to a group consisting of 8-10 guys for small "discussion" sessions, we also had our own specific counselors. My group was a "hardcore user" group - pills, crack, coke, heroin, alcohol, with many of the guys facing prison time or just had come out of prison. Some young kids also, to give them a scare. I often hated being in the "bad guys" group because I didn't see myself as so terrible, but I quickly realized we had important similarities that really mattered. We bonded, we cheered for each other, we shared stories, I watched grown men cry, I saw fights, counselors being tested, etc. We used AA-based thinking in treatment, and also had a mandatory public meeting once per week that we attended. AA wasn't the cornerstone of the program but it was nice to get an introduction to how it works.
Now the bad part: in the States, it's quite a pain to start the process. I had my family & friends' support, financial resources, and I was willing to go - yet I STILL remember having to get up at 6am and have my dad drive me to get an "assessment" at a local center, then was put on a waiting list. Luckily I had a place to stay and people to help me during the wait.
I think my views towards AA have been somewhat skewed thanks to treatment - inpatient rehab was like jumping into the deep ocean without a life vest...and the AA fellowship and lifestyle method, the steps, the sponsorships....seems like starting back at the shallow end of the pool. I understand it works for some and respect it. But treatment worked for me because of the intensity of the program and the no-nonsense approach. Over 11 months of sobriety and still going strong!
If you have the support and really want to beat this thing, I'd encourage anyone thinking of treatment to give it a shot. It's not easy, but that's a good thing. Anyone on the fence? I vote "DO IT". Good luck to all in your quest for a sober life and thanks for letting me share.
In the end, I couldn't give up the only life I knew, which was my dependence on something to change the way I felt.
I can look back and think that it was a good experience, and most likely gave me some knowledge about myself.
The first time, I came out, found the local AA, and went for one year, literature girl, and even named president of the rehab. Imagine that. They voted me because I seemed to have it all together. They all said I would do well. I was told alcohol is a slow form of suicide. I was told anyone that had drank alcoholically would most likely get liver cancer.
I imagined I was doomed at 23.
I think at some point like someone said the other day, that I just sort of "accepted" that this was just "how I was.".
I think at some point I passed the point of having a good life, and gave up.
Sure I would try new things, new job, new city, new relationships, but in the end I was left with me and my feelings, and my desire to escape reality.
The second time I went to treatment, the nuns felt I was "really sick", and kept me for two extra weeks to work on my childhood traumas, which they felt were ruling my life...the reason I was a mess. They made me carry a pillow around with me every day that represented my mother. OMG
The day I came home from treatment, I smoked pot, and was drinking within the week.
When I look back as an outsider looking at myself...what happened, what went wrong...why couldn't/didn't she stay sober, and have a magnificent life...why would this person drink for another 20 years and have more and more trouble?
I couldn't commit to a sober life.
My old sponsor tells me that I if I drink it's because I want to.
Maybe it all comes down to desire, or refusal to turn to nothing outside of myself.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
Originally Posted by dox
I was just wondering . . . what do you do now to maintain or improve your sober life?
Something less tangible but far more important was developing a new philosophy on life. I didn't just "fix" my life, I made plans to tear down everything, move the foundation and start from scratch. I'm still in the process of building my new life, I am far from finished and have encountered many struggles and pitfalls along the way.
Overall though, I'm just learning that I can trust myself. I don't try and "trick" myself by counting days, tokens, or making up imaginary "beasts" or praying to invisible "higher powers". I refuse to live in a world where I am simply distracting myself from drinking by practicing techniques and methods. I am learning that I simply do not have the desire to drink anymore, and that every day sober means I'm on a path to a happier existence. I have assumed the responsibility of giving myself a better life, and I simply know life is better - for me - if I practice lifelong sobriety. Finding that truth and believing that knowledge was a huge victory for me.
I also know I have a long way to go, and I haven't figured anything out - not by a long shot. Learning to live with humility and patience has helped.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
They made me carry a pillow around with me every day that represented my mother. OMG -
Good grief. That sounds ridiculous and is all kinds of wrong. Sheesh, sorry to hear that.
The day I came home from treatment, I smoked pot, and was drinking within the week. -
The day I came home from treatment was also the most dangerous day for me. I was THIS CLOSE to stopping at a liquor store on the way home, but for some reason I didn't. If I'd have drank that day I'd have been back off the wagon pronto. I totally understand that situation and also agree that the first day back is the most challenging. Getting through that, on my own, by myself, was a huge step and confidence builder. I hope you continue to share here and also keep drawing strength from others!
Good grief. That sounds ridiculous and is all kinds of wrong. Sheesh, sorry to hear that.
The day I came home from treatment, I smoked pot, and was drinking within the week. -
The day I came home from treatment was also the most dangerous day for me. I was THIS CLOSE to stopping at a liquor store on the way home, but for some reason I didn't. If I'd have drank that day I'd have been back off the wagon pronto. I totally understand that situation and also agree that the first day back is the most challenging. Getting through that, on my own, by myself, was a huge step and confidence builder. I hope you continue to share here and also keep drawing strength from others!
Friend of Jimmy B
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 667
Thanks for the post. I've been in treatment twice. Nine months in a a therapeutic community when I was 16 and six weeks in a rehab followed by four or five months in a halfway house when I was 22.
The TC was more or less useless. They were basically taking money from a city contract to yell at us and tell us we were f'd up useless junkies. That was in 1976 and I have no idea how things have changed in the TC world. Oh and I was mandated and had no intention of getting clean and sober.
Rehab was different. Those six years out there were all the attitude adjustment I needed to become willing to change. The best things I got from my time in rehab were a tooth brush, a Big Book and the AA meetings they brought in every night. It was sometime during those six weeks that I began to believe that maybe there was a different way to live. Rehab followed by AA is what worked for me. I know it's not for everyone. That was my path.
I also needed the medical attention and to be off the streets for those six weeks. I was addicted to alcohol, heroin, tuinal and whatever else I could get into my system and would have gone into seizure if I had quit on my own. Maybe it woud have worked if I had gone into detox then meetings. That's what worked for many of my friends. Whatever works is what works.
What I think we all have in common is first and foremost, to not pick up the first drink, no matter what and a good support system, be it 12th Step, SR or whatever. I'm glad you're here and sober and hope the best for you on your journey. Keep on sharing!
-allan
The TC was more or less useless. They were basically taking money from a city contract to yell at us and tell us we were f'd up useless junkies. That was in 1976 and I have no idea how things have changed in the TC world. Oh and I was mandated and had no intention of getting clean and sober.
Rehab was different. Those six years out there were all the attitude adjustment I needed to become willing to change. The best things I got from my time in rehab were a tooth brush, a Big Book and the AA meetings they brought in every night. It was sometime during those six weeks that I began to believe that maybe there was a different way to live. Rehab followed by AA is what worked for me. I know it's not for everyone. That was my path.
I also needed the medical attention and to be off the streets for those six weeks. I was addicted to alcohol, heroin, tuinal and whatever else I could get into my system and would have gone into seizure if I had quit on my own. Maybe it woud have worked if I had gone into detox then meetings. That's what worked for many of my friends. Whatever works is what works.
What I think we all have in common is first and foremost, to not pick up the first drink, no matter what and a good support system, be it 12th Step, SR or whatever. I'm glad you're here and sober and hope the best for you on your journey. Keep on sharing!
-allan
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
My 90 day inpatient recovery home stay in 1989 was similar to yours and necessary to get me ready for AA. I wasn't done .. I was just starting.
I needed the 90 day program to get me to the point where I could sit in an AA meeting for an hour and begin to listen & learn.
All the best.
Bob R
I needed the 90 day program to get me to the point where I could sit in an AA meeting for an hour and begin to listen & learn.
All the best.
Bob R
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 2,408
My treatment center was 12-step based and introduced me to AA, which is something that has saved my bacon, thank you HP and all. It's one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I still talk there now and then, go to alumni meetings, write for their newsletter and am a contact for guys leaving the house. It was a lifesaver for me.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: FL
Posts: 698
I didn't do inpatient treatment, But often wished I had in the early days. It was really challenging to deal with my family, (my husband my teenage son and my young adult daughter) while I was irritable, angry and emotionalall the time, and craving a drink. I was also working full time, and trying to finish up graduate school, that I only had a couple weeks left to finish. It was stressful. Checking into a facility for a couple months would have allowed me a break to better focus on my early recovery.
That being said, it worked out just fine. I got through it with AA. I still have a long way to go, one day at a time!!!
That being said, it worked out just fine. I got through it with AA. I still have a long way to go, one day at a time!!!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 65
I had the compulsion to drink lifted right out of me the moment I listened to two AA's share thier story with me- I knew they had what I had been looking for- I belonged at last. However, because it had been so easy I thought there was no need to do all the steps, of course I soon found out there is no "easier softer way". Thankfully we only have to deal with recovery one day at a time and it's amazing the different routes we all take - but isn't it great to be sober today!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Houston Texas
Posts: 1,003
So interesting the different perspective....
I find the intense stuff never lasts.....but the steady as you go life in the program is endlessly rich, deep, and satisfying.
I used to like intense.....seemed like it was real. But my experience was that it didn't really do as much as the daily challenge of applying principles. I'm more a believer that the quality of life is in how you handle yourself in the grocery store line when it's annoying...
I find the intense stuff never lasts.....but the steady as you go life in the program is endlessly rich, deep, and satisfying.
I used to like intense.....seemed like it was real. But my experience was that it didn't really do as much as the daily challenge of applying principles. I'm more a believer that the quality of life is in how you handle yourself in the grocery store line when it's annoying...
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