newby1961

Debits and Credits

Following a gossip binge, we can well ask ourselves these questions: "Why did we say what we did? Were we only trying to be helpful and informative? Or were we not trying to feel superior by confessing the other fellow's sins? Or, because of fear and dislike, were we not really aiming to damage him?"
This would be an honest attempt to examine ourselves, rather than the other fellow.

<<< >>>

Inventory-taking is not always done in red ink. It's a poor day indeed when we haven't done something right. As a matter of fact, the waking hours are usually filled with things that are constructive. Good intentions, good thoughts, and good acts are there for us to see.
Even when we have tried hard and failed, we may chalk that up as one of the greatest credits of all.


1. GRAPEVINE, AUGUST 1961
2. TWELVE AND TWELVE, p.93

Fernaceman

I gossip far too often. I feel as if it just happens and I can't help it sometimes, but I really know that's not true. I am more aware of it, definitely. Usually it's something, like when I dislike someone, that I see in myself if I look deep into it.

As far as inventory taking, I can discredit myself and focus on negative things a lot of the time, failing to see the good in any situation. If it's been a rough day, it's usually only one or two pretty relatively small things that have caused that, and I have let myself become focused on that.

paul99

Gossip is something that I thought I didn't do, but as I worked the steps, I saw that yeah, I was a bona-fide sniper in the character assassination game. I have learned to walk away from many situations where gossip happens, but I still get caught up in it now and then. It's something that I pray to have God relieve me of, and I work at reminding myself of the questions asked in the reading.

newby1961

I have been on the other end of gossip,meaning people have gossiped about me. I have actually stopped going to meetings because of it which is really sad. Character assassinating others is a poison and can have harmful consequences to people. I was glad to read guys do it because honestly I really feel that woman do it a whole lot more than the men cause they can get very catty about things.
I really try not to engage in it. I especially dislike when I confront someone on it and they try to cop out by saying it was out of concern. Okay that is your denial.
Great posts guys.

paul99

For me the gossip thing is at work. So I have to questions myself there - am I talking about someone's performance, poor or not, or am I getting personal, which means it's none of my business? Sometimes the personal gets crossed over into someone's work life and it affects their performance, so my commentary on their personal life ties into their work, which is my business as I am one of the bosses. I guess it's motives - am I saying something to make myself feel better about myself? Or is it strictly business related? I make it more complicated than it is I suppose, but it really does come down to my motives

Applecrumble

Yes, I always thought I didn't gossip too ... Until I realised I did. I also thought I was good at defending people in conversations where groups of people start miaowing about someone because I felt I could still see the good in them or i could show compassion. But both of these things are me making ego judgements and also expressing them to third parties and there's rarely any usefulness in that. It often ends up in me being pious too.

But with all this analysis I end up stuck in a conversation with someone or a group of people and I can't think of a single thing to say, lest it be either from a negative place or to going to a bad place! And walking away mid flow isn't generally accepted

But then, its a skill of interaction that I can develop I've no doubt. The most important thing in the long run is indeed honest motives, however that comes across sometimes.