newby1961

~ Alcoholics Anonymous 1st Edition How It Works pg. 67~
c Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, INC.

Fernaceman

Tolerance is a good thing to have. I don't want to be tolerant a lot of the time. I want to be judgmental and tell people how I really feel. But if I do that, I'm probably not being too helpful to anyone, including myself.

paul99

I can't help everyone. It's not my place much of the time, and sometimes people don't want the help. I have to remember the serenity prayer in those times - the wisdom to know the difference in where I can change something or not. I can only look upon everyone with love and tolerance. That is about all I can do in all situations. It might not help them, but it helps me for sure.

Gal220

Definitely that "wisdom to know the difference" is the kicker! It seems like that part should come first in the Serenity prayer. Once I really know whether I should act or accept, I usually don't have a problem.

Gal220

Sorry, don't know how I posted double!

bbthumper

THis is one of my favorite promises in the book.

Its also a reminder of what my job is. It is not to be of service to God those around me. It is to fit myself to be of service to God and those about me. Its up to God as to who and how I am to be of service.

Veritas1

It's hard to be kind and tolerant to people when you see them behaving badly.

I want to make them change. Stop acting that way.

It makes me angry when I see people being what I would deem "unkind". I think they should act well.

How do I let go of the anger when I see my child's golf pro acting unkind?

I pray. This is a sick man. God save me from being angry.

I bite my tongue.

But I still have silent, or not silent scorn.

I still have the resentment. It rears its ugly head in my thoughts over and over again.

He's mean to my son. What's wrong with him. He doesn't like him. He doesn't like me.

!

God, please remove my fear and resentment with ____. I pray for knowledge of your will for us and the power to carry that out. Love, ___. Amen

Who said this was a easy deal.

!

tomsteve

we have to have a kindly and tolerant view as in seeing they are sick, but we dont have to be a doormat nor grovel before anyone.

HappyDestiny3

This reading reminded me of when I was working on my 3rd step. And afterward always thinking about the big word of will. What is my will to turn over ect..

And my grandsponsor gave me a suggestion. Out of a prayer that says to have the DESIRE to do his will.. Thats all I need, for my God loves me for that. As long as I desire to do his will, weather it worked out good or bad, I had those 4 absolutes in them, so he knows I did my best.And thats all he wants.. Love and Service.

bbthumper

Makes me think of the line in Merton's prayer "I believe my desire to please You does in fact please You. And I hope that I have that desire in all that I do."

paul99

This is a crucial distinction. Love and tolerance isn't always with my mouth shut.

bbthumper

Right. Also, I think that tolerance is often mistaken for apathy. Its easy to use "tolerance" of others as an excuse to stand by and not take action when we notice members doing or saying things which can be harmful. Sometimes the most loving and tolerant thing to do is call someone out on their BS.

muvinon

I cannot really judge when I'm helpful and when I'm not. I know that. I used to think it was helpful to rescue people, fix everything, and keep alert to their feelings and figure out how to please them so they felt better. That turned out to be a defect of character problem, not helpful. I thought I was unhelpful when I let people alone. That turned out to be fairly useful, or so they shared later along the way.

It's a WHOLE lot easier to just do the next right thing, ask for inspiration throughout the day, and assume that God is using me properly and with my own talents and gifts.

paul99

Absolutely. Had that happen yesterday with a sponsee. He said some stuff to me and I called BS immediately to him. We spoke more, and it wasn't until today that I got a text thanking me for calling him out on his stuff. It's like some of the threads here - some people get called out, but it comes from a place of love and tolerance.

newby1961

I think it depends on where my calling some one out is coming from. If I am doing it in the spirit of my HP and the program that is one thing, but if I am doing it because I think I know what is best for someone else, than I have to remember I am not God and I do not have someones journey blueprinted for my disposal. Now this is different if I am working with that person. I am speaking about random people in the meetings.