sponsor

[roy!]

Hi

I reached rock bottom last Feb and woke up with the worst hangover and alcohol poisoning type symptoms after a long binge and decided I had to quit, so i sought help with the AA, I went to my first meting and people were very friendly, afterwards someone gave me the big book.
During the meeting I just sat there and listened then at the end I found my self talking, sort of flow of consciousness, and finished by saying i just want my life back, just being able to tell a bunch of strangers that knew what I was talking about was a great experience, sort of took a weight from me.

I have been sober since, and I go now and again to meetings , but basically have done this on my own, I was given a list of phone numbers to ring, but I am hesitant to do that, out of shyness or a feeling that why should I ring some stranger and moan about having a weak moment.

I don't understand the sponsor system, how do I get one, the others at the meeting seemed to talk about their sponso. It sounds like a good idea, I get very weak moments when I think I am going to crack and maybe then is a good time to discuss with an understanding person.

Plus, what is the concept of a dry drunk?

Here's to being sober! (sorry about the pun)

[Justme57]

Good Morning Roy !

CONGRATULATIONS on your sober time ! Thats terrific !

You know Roy , I had the same problem with ringing people, I always thought , ( at first ) that there was no point in ringing people just to winge . Thank goodness that has changed ! my sponser advisedme to have a copy of the Serenity prayer next to the phone, and to say it before ringng, she also told me to ring 3 people a day , regardless! lol This was the pert of the programme which made me realise the truth of the words, " it works if you work it " I was amazed when i started ringing people, how often they would say , " Oh yes i remember when that happened to me " and then share their ESH. lol

As for a sponser, I really could not do this without my Sponser . They are just someone who has what you want ! If you have seen or met a particular person in AA , who has struck you by their serenity , way of life , or that you just plain feel you would get on with , this is the person you should ask. Over here , we stick to males for males and females for females . i tshould be someone who has worked the steps, and appears to apply them to their lives , and who has a reasonable length of sobriety .

I found it difficult to ask someone to start with , and it was suggested to me that I ask someone to be my TEMPORY sponser pro tem, as that left it open ended for both of us . I am happy thast it has worked out wonderfully well, and now my Sponce and I are best mates . You share stuff with your sponser that you wouldnt normally share , specially from the floor , a confidante if you will

GOOD LUCK

Keep posting
Hugx
lee

[Chy]

Here's a good link on sponsorship.

http://alcohol411.info/AA%20Sponsor.htm

A dry drunk is someone who simply quits drinking but does not work towards changing those old behaviors. Usually, but not alway's someone trying to quit on their own, but not find the reasons for their symptoms. I don't think you have to worry about it.

BTW welcome to SR, glad you found us.

[collinsmi]

Congratulations Roy!

A sponsor is someone who will show you how to work the 12 steps. There's no real process to get one, other than asking someone. It's a good idea to ask someone who works the steps (that most certainly is a process).

The people who gave you their phone numbers did so in part because their own recovery depends on helping others to recover (as hopefully I am by writing this). By calling them, you are helping them as well as yourself.

A dry drunk is what any alcoholic is on who is not working a recovery program and not drinking. Problems with being on a dry drunk are that A). the dry drunk is not addressing the things that cause drinking in the alcoholic and B). dry drunks don't usually stay dry for long.

Hope that helped and good luck out there!

[roy!]

Thank you all for your wisdom and kind encouragement, I have an idea now of who to ask.

I have to learn how to " work the steps" there are lots of things about this I don't quite understand yet.

The dry drunk is interesting, I wonder if I am not thinking hard enough about why I drank so much, I dont think for me there were any underlying deep psychological trauma or family hardships etc. I am quite privileged, I drank because everyone else did at Uni. or the Rugby club, parties. But it got a hold on me.
I suppose I drank so much in social settings from a lack of self confidence. but I am changing my lifestyle bit by bit, getting away from the standard notion that a good night out is one I cant remember much of!

Sometimes I think I will never have fun again, that I'll get boring and be a stick in the mud, or I'll not have the mad adventures brought on by booze, but those thoughts soon pass...
I think of the many people who have done it, all the wonderful people on here and at the AA meetings, famous hell raisers who quit and their lives are better for it, Billy Connolly and Frank Skinner (british examples). In the almost 3 months of sobriety so far, I feel great, sleep better, no depression, work is better, just all around life is good without booze

One day at a time is my mantra now

cheers

Roy

[Little Missy]

Hey Roy! You are doing just great. You are at the right place for information and support. I just love everyone here. I also just started working the program and I am feeling better every day!
Congratulations on 3 months! Hope I make it there, one day at a time!
Take Care,
Missy

[Chy]

Keep coming back!