AA meeting or Bar?

[mackat]

missy is rockin !!!!
angela- never have to drink again- promise
i'm headed to the backcountry [just past my fence line-thanksAA, thanks god] with my son [thanks AA thanks god] to head on up a near 14,000 peak. be gone all weekend. would love to come back and hear about 48 hrs of clean, joyful sobriety
...but it is what it is- i would so love to hand everyone this incredible life i have found. i never ever dreamt of this!!...i mean c'mon, a near 17 yr old who wants to backpack with me- greets me with a public hug- we're cuttin' up all over the grocery store ['dad just don't do like you do with the ladies undies at wal mart- please dad!!!] hee hee hee
we are lighting out for the back country yee hah!
mackat

[Little Missy]

Hooray ((Angela))!! Glad to have ya!!

((Mack)) I also love the panties aisle! We have so much in common! LOL
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!!

Hugs,
Missy

[Kathi]

Missy you are doing great - keep going!! I haven't recognized my anger so much yet but boy I am all of a sudden much more in tune with the fact that I am resentful - ....

Mackat - Have a great weekend I'll miss ya!

Kathi

[surfinsupermom]

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy All,

I went to the meeting!!!!!!! I was late because I got lost!! I was tempted to just go home and get a 12 or 18 pack on the way. But, I didnt, i went and I stayed and I loved it and I am going back tomorrow. Details later.


Thank you allllllllllllllllllllllll for all of your support!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

XOXXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

ANGELA

[Little Missy]

Good for you Angela! You go girl!! Can't wait to hear about it!

Hugs,
Missy

[MootPoint]

yaaaaaaaaaaay angela!

[mackat]

angela does , indeed, rock

[Gutterdrunk]

Way to go Angela!

If tyou hanf around long enough, you will here your story.

[Little Missy]

Last nights meeting was about gratitude. It is wonderful to think of all the things I have to be grateful for. It is so nice to feel like a complete person again. I no longer have that emptiness inside.
I am grateful to be able to be grateful!!!

Thanks for all you do for me!
Missy

[Gutterdrunk]

Originally Posted by Little Missy

.
I am grateful to be able to be grateful!!!
Missy

Being able to be gratefull is a evry cool thing.

[Little Missy]

The last couple of meetings I have been to have been about our relationships with ourselves and others. I am learning to love myself. I am still my own worst enemy, but I'm working on that.

I have been very fortunate in my life to have a loving and caring husband, friends, and family. I will have plenty of ammends to make. I did lose a best friend of mine due to my drinking. It brakes my heart not to have her in my life right now. I said hateful things to her, that I thought were funny. She even had her phone changed to not except long distant calls. I can totally understand why she needed to distance herself from me. Never drink and dial!! Since I started AA, I have sent her an email, which she did respond to. I sent her another one when I made 1 month sober, but I haven't heard from her. I will just keep doing what I'm doing. Working on myself and staying sober!!

Hugs,
Missy

[Gutterdrunk]

I know exactly how you feel Missy, like they say "whever you go, there you are"

My past kept haunting me, until I worked the steps.

Fortunatly for me there was no elevator, I had to work the steps, and they save my life everyday.

[mackat]

hi missy
some of my friends have come back. some, even 8 sober years later , are wary. Some cannot get back
the important thing for me is that i have befriended me
all else is bonus
thanks again for posting this thread
mackat

[Little Missy]

So I take my terribly grouchy butt to a meeting on Tuesday night. I walk in and give then fair warning that I am b*tchy. Some say to leave and then they laugh, some say to stay and they laugh too. The meeting starts and 2 people to the right of the chairman say they don't have anything to say. So I pipe in, that if nobody cares, I have a problem and would love to here everyones suggestions.

The reading from the 24 hr. book was about once an alkie always an alkie. I told them I was already tired of being an alcoholic. It was getting old. I'm tired of my mind always thinking. Drink - still have the thoughts, but very little if any desire right now. And I know the thoughts will continue. But what bothers me the most is trying to decide what is right. Should I do this or that, don't say that, should I call this person. I'm driving myself crazy. I just want my mind to take a break.

Then there's being grouchy! I feel like I could pull myself out of it, get up and do something. Instead, I choose to sit and stew. I don't enjoy feeling miserable, just don't care to do anything about it. Like that would be too much work, or I might actually feel good. Darn roller coaster.

Advise given: Keep it simple. The first year really sucks, especially the first 2 months. When you get down, you've neglected something in the program. Somedays we will be grouchy, we are human. I can't remember the rest. Which memory is a whole nother story! UGH!!

Feeling better today though! Meeting to night, I am the new coffee maker and door opener. AWE Service, Service, Service!!

Love and Hugs,
Missy

[Dan]

Very cool Missy.

[Gutterdrunk]

Yes, Very cool, and they are right, keep it simple, this is the formula that they gave me, for my first year, and I still apply it today

1) don't drink, even if your ass falls off.
2) Go to meetings
3) Call your sponsor, (or another alcoholic until you get one)everyday!
4) Read the big book
5) Work the steps.

Simple enough?

[Little Missy]

You want fries with that!! LOL

So last night was my first time opening the doors, making coffee (which was too strong), chairing the meeting, cleaning, and locking up! I'm sure they all left saying, "Man, don't go to that Thursday night meeting where that crazy lady who laughs all the time chairs, and the coffee sucks, BAD!"

The topic was hitting bottom. I truely believe that I hit my bottom 3 1/2 years ago when I attempted suicide. Quit drinking for a year. Then started again. This time when I stopped it was because hubs asked me everyday, "What's wrong now, what's so bad that you have to drink?" I got so sick and tired of hearing that. UGH!!!!! But, one day I actually "heard" him, and I thought about it. Hell, there was nothing wrong. That's when I knew I was in trouble.

People last night were saying how they saw other drunks and "used" there bottom. Knowing that they didn't want to get to be like that. Some said they started recovery and relapsed cause they hadn't hit there's yet. Some said it was an emotional, not physical bottom that they hit.

This "not hitting bottom yet" thing kind of conserns me. I would hope that as long as you are working the program that relapses wouldn't happen. I know that we have to do this for the rest of our lives. Do you all think slacking off on the program causes relapses? Is "I hadn't hit my bottom yet" just an excuse? This is a disease of perception. Do our worped little minds just tell us that it's ok to drink and we believe it?

I was just curious on your thoughts. I am not going to worry about this. I am going to keep doing what I am doing and keep getting what I am getting!! Keeping it simple works wonders for me.

Hope curiousity doesn't kill this cat!!
Missy

[Dan]

I read this somewhere on the boards.
You hit bottom when you stop digging.
Simple enough Missy?

[Gutterdrunk]

Originally Posted by Little Missy

Do you all think slacking off on the program causes relapses? Is "I hadn't hit my bottom yet" just an excuse? This is a disease of perception. Do our worped little minds just tell us that it's ok to drink and we believe it?
Missy

For me, and I can only speak for me, slacking of on the program lead to my relapse, because when I slack of on the program, I start to underestimate this cunning, baffeling and powerful disease. My little mind, (or the members of the committee in my head, as some of us in the program call it) starts to tell me that maybe I can drink like a gentleman, the great obsesion for us all. That a drink will take away some emotional pain that I may be in, or get me out of my head for a while. All bulls**t. It's always there in the morning, and usually worse.

Those members of my committee want to run, hide and not deal with life. But, the Sober members of my committee, they face life, do what they can, and let go of what they have no control over (the serenity prayer).

That's my take on relapses. And I should tell you, that my relapses, were not just a slips, they took me to where I haven't gone before in my drinking, jail, twice in one year, getting thrown out of my house, and endangering my family.I became a blackout drunk, where I was binge drinker before. One I took that first drink, it took over a year, to get past 60 days.

This is a progressive disease, watch out for the yet's.... :sink

[Little Missy]

Lately we have had about 5 kids coming to the meetings because they got in trouble drinking, and have to attend the meetings. We share our stories and let them know that alcoholism can start very early. I know I was an alcoholic as soon as I started drinking. I could never put down a drink. We also let them know that just because they got in trouble doesn't mean they are alcoholics. Suggested that they not drink at the next party and watch how the other drunk kids behave. Not cool!!

Anyway, my selfishness is coming up a little bit because I need these meetings. I don't mind helping another alcoholic or these kids, but I feel like I am in search of something. Maybe just a different topic. The last 3 meetings have had these kids in them. I sure hope if they have a problem they see it early on, but kind of crossing my fingers, that they aren't at tonights meeting. Selfish? Probably!

Missy

[Little Missy]

Very interesting... Last night Chy said in the meeting that she learns something new each time she reads the BB. That is soooo true. I was just thinking last night how I feel like I don't have the "right" to be upset or angry anymore. Like the steps have taken away that emotion which is "normal".

So, I'm reading the BB this morning and right there it explains it.
pg.66 If we were to live, we had to be free of anger. The grouch and the brainstorm were not for us. They maybe the dubious luxury of normal men, but for alcoholics these things are poison.

I guess I am no longer allowed the "luxury" of anger. That doesn't sound so bad today!!

Hugs,
Missy

[MootPoint]

that's my favorite passage!

[Dan]

Anger leads to resentment.
And resentment leads to... Well, we don't go there anymore do we