newby1961

TOTAL ACCEPTANCEHe cannot picture life without alcohol. Some day he will be unable to imagine life either with alcohol or without it. Then he will know loneliness such as few do. He will be at the jumping-off place. He will wish for the end.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 152

Only an alcoholic can understand the exact meaning of a statement like this one. The double standard that held me captive as an active alcoholic also filled me with terror and confusion: "If I don't get a drink I'm going to die," competed with "If I continue drinking it's going to kill me." Both compulsive thoughts pushed me ever closer to the bottom. That bottom produced a total acceptance of my alcoholism -- with no reservations whatsoever -- and one that was absolutely essential for my recovery. It was a dilemma unlike anything I had ever faced, but as I found out later on, a necessary one if I was to succeed in this program.

c 1990 Daily Reflections Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, INC.

Fernaceman

I was sure at a point where I couldn't imagine life with or without alcohol/drugs. I needed them to live, they were my solution, but I also hated what they did to me. I wished for the end, but was too afraid to die. That was the past me. The now me, who I really am just getting to know, has accepted a new life of principles outlined through the twelve steps. Love, tolerance, and service to others in all my affairs. My alcoholic mind wants to huff and puff at the selflessness involved, but in reality it is quite a remarkable and fulfilling way to live.

tomsteve

after my last drunk i couldnt picture life with alochol anymore. it wasnt gonna be a long life if i kept drinking. then in early recovery, the thought of life without it would creep in. thats where trust in the program, the fellowship, and God started comin in.
i didnt think it could be possible to live wihtout alcohol, but when i started working the steps and putting what the BB says into action, i realized that when i was drinking i was only existiing and now i was starting to live!

paul99

It was upon that poignant and devastating dilemma that my surrender was complete. All the externals - hospital visits, arrest, family troubles, work issues, etc. weren't the things that pushed me to AA. It was the simple and demoralizing idea that I could not live drinking, I could not live not drinking. That is where I knew the jig was up. But how would I stop the runaway train, other than jumping under one? Through the program of AA was I then able to understand that simply giving my life and my will over to the care of a loving and forgiving God was all I needed to do to start a new life. By working some simple (not easy) steps was I able to experience a life and a Power that I was asleep to all these years.

IndaMiricale

Yup I didnt want to live like I was anymore, and I sure didnt want to die although sometimes it seemed easier.

But the concept forever without my HP alcohol. Thats were one day at time had to as a must become my way of life..