Never Again

[Carol87]

"Most people feel more secure on the twenty-four-hour plan basis than they do in the resolution that they will never drink again. Most of them have broken too many resolutions. It's really a matter of personal choice; every A.A. has the privilege of interpreting the program as he likes.

"Personally, I take the attitude that I intend never to drink again. This is somewhat different from saying, 'I will never drink again.' The latter attitude sometimes gets people in trouble because it is undertaking on a personal basis to do what we alcoholics never could do. It is too much an act of will and leaves too little room for the idea that God will release us from the drink obsession provided we follow the A.A. program."

Letter 1949
c. 1967, As Bill Sees It, page 16

If I remember "that I never intend to drink again" it somehow makes the program seem so much simpler. Fortunately I have 16+ years of never intending to drink again and I hope to have many more. However, that will only happen if I continue to work the program of Alcoholics Anonymous.

I can also apply the "never intend" to so many other areas of my life. I never intend to go back to old behaviors; I never intend to be judgmental again; I never intend to engage my mouth before my brain again; I never intend to allow my temper to take charge; I never intend ... The list can go on and on. Do I always do this? Of course not. But it is much easier to accomplish these goals if I stay spiritually fit and continue to work the steps on a daily basis.

[Digits101010]

Thanks Carol.

I think about the promises I broke to myself after many "nevers" and "wills" and "will nots" and "always." I remember how I felt when I broke one of my absolutes. I felt very lowly; Almost to the point of an excuse to drink myself to death.

So I see that promises, as powerful as they were, as much of a negative impact I felt when I broke them...they alone, were not enough to deter me from my behaviors and gave me justifiable reasons to continue on with them once I did *break the absolute.*

I believe, today, in the power of words. When I say, "I will not do so and so" and then do...it's an ego crush and a great reason to keep me down and sick. I can see that if I were to say, "I intend to not do so and so" it gives me the permission I need to allow me to be human and when I have that permission I can stand up, after falling, dust myself off and keep going back with my original intent intact.

Thanks for the post!
Digits

[Carol87]

I have also been reminded that "we are judged by our actions, not our intentions" ... which is so true and which I obviously did not consider when I posted. I did not intend for this to be a controversial topic but I would like to hear other thoughts on this.

I don't intend to >>>>>>>> just for today?

[Dan]

For me, it comes down to giving myself permission to experience success. The program of recovery I have assembled for myself includes daily obligations as well as longer term goals. Some mornings, I do get out of bed thinking I will never drink again. The intention to do so is real and felt deep inside. But for me to enjoy that success, that total elation of knowing I have been true to my long term goal will only come I think, when I close my eyes for the last time. In the interim, I decide to not drink today, and bask in the feeling of success twenty four hours at a time.
I hope others contribute to this most interesting thread.

Dan

[Ninerfan]

Originally Posted by Carol87

"Most people feel more secure on the twenty-four-hour plan basis than they do in the resolution that they will never drink again. Most of them have broken too many resolutions. It's really a matter of personal choice; every A.A. has the privilege of interpreting the program as he likes.

"Personally, I take the attitude that I intend never to drink again. This is somewhat different from saying, 'I will never drink again.' The latter attitude sometimes gets people in trouble because it is undertaking on a personal basis to do what we alcoholics never could do. It is too much an act of will and leaves too little room for the idea that God will release us from the drink obsession provided we follow the A.A. program."

Letter 1949
c. 1967, As Bill Sees It, page 16

Thanks for posting this Carol. I couldn't remember where I had read Bills quote on how he worked the program. I do remember reading it and thinking to myself, 'this makes way more sense to me than one day at a time.' I intend never to drink again. Doesn't mean I wont and I'm not in denial about my problem. I also am not living on the edge of a cliff just waiting to drink and fall off, so to speak. At least that is how I felt in early sobriety. I probably didn't take to the one day at a time idea because I wasn't a daily drinker. Being a periodic drinker, Bills quote held more promise for me and didn't seem so do or die. Just my experience. Thanks again for posting that quote.

[Music]

My goal is to stay sober as long as I live.....One Day at a Time.

[Digits101010]

"I have also been reminded that "we are judged by our actions, not our intentions" ... which is so true and which I obviously did not consider when I posted. I did not intend for this to be a controversial topic but I would like to hear other thoughts on this."
---------------------------
Pg 450 3rd Edition: "Before AA, I judged myself by my intentions, while the world judged me by my actions." [Emphasis mine.]

This is why I try to not judge people. I know I don't appreciate getting judged so I am aware of myself before I do it. I stayed illness-oriented when I thought people were judging me all the time [read: kept me drunk] and today people who judge me can keep their opinions to themselves unless I solicit them.

My newly revised definition of a friend: "Someone who overlooks your bare-spotted, weed infested lawn, past your broken down peeling painted fence, in order to admire your flowers." And a non-friend, of course, is someone who brings the other to you attention.

I'd rather be a friend today.
Digits

[Music]

My Dad told me once: "A real friend is someone who knows all about you and likes you anyway."

[Patsyd1]

My goal today is to stay sober for these 24 hours, to be the best that I can be in these 24 hours, and to trust that my Higher Power is with me from the moment that I hit my knees in the morning, to the moment I get on my knees to thank Him at night.

Keeping it simple in these 24 hours,

Patsy

[Music]

Patsy.....Long time, no see!
Good to know you're still hanging around.
Love you.

[Patsyd1]

(((((((((((((((Music))))))))))))))))) Its so nice to see you too!

Music, I don't hang around...... I hang IN LOL

Love to you Kid
Patsy