LD Meetings

[1Marty]

Hello all, forgive me as I'm still exploring in the AA world. I was looking through meetings in my area, and found that most are discussion/closed. Some are open/speaker. And like a couple were Lead Discussion. Well I wanted to find out what lead discussion was all about so I went to one tonight. I really enjoyed it. It was a fairly large group - Like about 50 or so people. As a newcomer, I don't always feel comfortable "sharing" at every meeting. Especially if I don't know much about the step everyone is working on. At this meeting, I felt very comfortable to just sit and listen. Any one else have experience with theese meetings?

[DolphinBlue]

Hi Marty,

its great that you've found a meeting that you're comfortable with. I don't remember a particular meeting such as the one you've described, but that feeling is very familiar to me. Often it just feels right and I come away feeling brand new and full of hope.

Good for you! I think its so important to keep trying different meetings until a good fit is found and that takes willingness.

Amy

[Justme57]

Hi there !

I go to a regular discussion meeting every Tuesday night , and I love it too. It is not my Home Group, but it sure feels like it , lol I have been going every Tuesday for the last 5 months, and it really sets me up for my week, I usually have Monday Tuesday off, so for me , it is a great way to start my week.
It is quite a large group, and we get a lot of newcomers. Ours is a " topic" meeting , and everyone gets the opportunity to raise a topic if they want, and the Chairperson introduces each topic,and everyone who wants can share on it .

I am glad you enjoyed yours ! I go to several diffent types of meetings each week, usually the same ones, ID, discussion, and one which has a guest speaker , which is great too.

HUGX
Lee

[1Marty]

This meeting was different than the other disscussion meetings I have been to. There were no tables. All the chairs are arranged in a big circle around the church gym. It started with some readings - but not the usual readings I have heard at my other discussion groups. Then 1 member was asked to read (I think step 4 from the 12 +12). The same meber then shared his experience on that step with the rest of the group. After that, the meeting was opend for sharing from anyone who wanted. I really felt welcome, wanted, and for the first time comfortable! I liked the way the group was so large - but at the same time so focused. Even though I've only been to 1 meeting I am already having the thought: Could I have finally found my home group? Thanks for listening everyone!

[Dan]

We call those speaker meetings in my neck of the woods. I find them tremendously enriching. But then again, any meeting holds that potential if I maintain an open mind. Good for you Marty! And my experience is that if you have the faintest thought you might have found a home group, it's well worth considering it. Again, congratulations Marty!

DD

[Digits101010]

Originally Posted by 1Marty

This meeting was different than the other disscussion meetings I have been to. [....snipped for brevity...] Could I have finally found my home group?

Hi Marty and welcome!

Yes, this is a "speaker meeting" aka "lead discussion"... Where, after the traditional readings, one person shares her/his story on what happened, what it was like and what it's like now. The speaker usually is thought to be sharing their experience, strength and hope, while these meetings - I have all been too - are *Open* meaning anyone can attend, the audience listens to the speaker's story. ["Closed" of course meaning that if you have a desire to not drink.]

I think these meetings were important to me particularly in earlier sobriety so that I could identify myself in these "speakers", helping me to confirm or not that I am an alcoholic. I remember when I first went to a *regular discussion* meeting I'd look around the room and not think I was an alcoholic.

Some people would share they'd been to prison, others would share they'd done drugs, and because table etiquette suggests each person who shares keeps it within a reasonable amount of time [3 minutes or so depending on the size of the meeting] we won't really know enough about them to see maybe where our similarities rather than differences lie. I think the Lead meetings are good for seeing our similarities.

For me, when I share in a regular discussion meeting, I keep it related to the Big Book or to the steps as it pertains or is pertaining to me, maybe once in a while bring in a current episode happening in my life....but for people new coming in, hearing my sharing maybe in the back of their minds they're thinking, "There's no way she's an alcoholic." [Maybe because I sound so *healthy* and this is where the Speaker Meetings come in... These same people can see what I used to be like and where I came from and how it was that AA came to help me.] It really is about sharing experience, strength and hope.

Regular discussion meetings, for me, is about day to day living and how to apply the steps in my life. I didn't share for the first 9 or so months of my recovery...I had nothing to share, I was frustrated, had tried everything, and it was time for me to sit back, relax, and listen to those who came before me on how they did it.

Welcome!
Digits

[Justme57]

Morning all!

Well, i went to a meeting which i dont usually attend, last nite , cos I am working. While I know most of the people there , it sure was a meeting with a difference ! lol Apparently , the 3rd Sunday of every month, they have a " jelly bean" meeting, this involves sharing for only 10 mins, and if you keep within the time frame , you get a jelly been ! As there is a lot of long term sobriety at this particular meeting, it is quite fun seeing the long time sober people trying to stay in the 10 mins !
It is a very popular meeting, with about 30 people, and 14 got to share last nite , silly but fun.

HUGX

Lee

[1Marty]

Hello, Digits - You said it. I like those open meetings because hearing the stories, relating, affirms to me that I am in the right place. That is really importnt for me right now.
Lee, I would be able to get lots of Jelly beans at those meetings! I'm really short winded around the tables right now. I hope that after I get some more time under my belt, I will feel comfortable to share more.

[Rudiger]

Hello 1Marty and all,

I think the more you can participate the better. I always kept my mouth shut and listened because I thought I had nothing to offer. I discovered only later that even when (and maybe especially when) you are new your thoughts and words are quite important and vital. Not just so you can benifit from airing questions or troubles. But even the peers (and they are peers no matter how much time) with much time in could benifit from someone like you who has a fresh and eager outlook on recovery. Many of our experiences are similar but yet your unique outlook may be the only and exact one that could change a particular persons life that day. I had never thought before how my silence and fear of being noticed was in some ways quite selfish until it was pointed out to me. I think the cotton from the ears to the mouth phrase is only really appropriate for the completely self absorbed loudmouth who can't listen for directions.

To help me with my reluctance my friends took me to a tag meeting. Do they have these discussion meetings in your area? After one person speaks for a few minutes he/she has the option of calling on a specific person who goes next. Newcommers usually get a chance(called) to share but of course they are not forced to. Also, we have meetings from the "As Bill See's It" book. We go around the room and read passages that relate to an agreed upon topic. After the read we chime in with our own thoughts on the subject or just "check in". Then we pass the book to the next person in the circle. This meeting helped me with the transition from silence to participation.

Course, those cheapskates never had any jellybeans. razafrazamumferestebegablastin and other random silly mumblings.

Rudiger

[Justme57]

Hi Rudiger et al

Yep, we have the " As Bill Sees It " meetings too. The tag meeting sounds like a good one , I haven't ben to one of those . Dont you think a mix of meeting formats is s good idea, and keeps everything " fresh" ?

HUGX
Lee

[Ninerfan]

Originally Posted by 1Marty

This meeting was different than the other disscussion meetings I have been to. There were no tables. All the chairs are arranged in a big circle around the church gym. It started with some readings - but not the usual readings I have heard at my other discussion groups. Then 1 member was asked to read (I think step 4 from the 12 +12). The same meber then shared his experience on that step with the rest of the group. After that, the meeting was opend for sharing from anyone who wanted. I really felt welcome, wanted, and for the first time comfortable! I liked the way the group was so large - but at the same time so focused. Even though I've only been to 1 meeting I am already having the thought: Could I have finally found my home group? Thanks for listening everyone!

Marty, this sounds like a step study meeting more than a speaker meeting to me. Speaker meetings by definition involve one speaker an no discussion afterwards. Discussion meetings involve all members. But I'm glad you enjoyed the meeting, particularly a step meeting. Those are, IMO, way more important than discussion meetings. But its all good.

[1Marty]

Ninerfan, yes, this meeting did have involvement from others after the speaker. People who wanted to add somthing just spoke up. All and all, the people all seemed happy and posative. I want that attitude, so I'm going back.
Rudiger - that is a good new way for me to look at sharing. Thanks.