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-   -   My AA friends, attraction rather than promotion (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/alcoholism-12-step-support/276365-my-aa-friends-attraction-rather-than-promotion.html)

FamilyMan2153 12-03-2012 09:20 AM

My AA friends, attraction rather than promotion
 
I read the Daily Meditation book and since it is getting close to the end of the year I am reading about tradition 11. Do you think talking on the site about how AA helped us is promotion or attraction? I was thinking about that yesterday. Not really sure??

sugarbear1 12-03-2012 09:23 AM

I'm amazed I could get past one day of abstinence without planning on purchasing more to drink....

bbthumper 12-03-2012 09:31 AM


Originally Posted by FamilyMan2153 (Post 3700199)
I read the Daily Meditation book and since it is getting close to the end of the year I am reading about tradition 11. Do you think talking on the site about how AA helped us is promotion or attraction? I was thinking about that yesterday. Not really sure??

I think the line between the 2 can be a fine one. I am certainly guilty of crossing it... repeatedly. I think saying "Im in AA. It did this this and this and my life is better as a result" is fine. We run into trouble when we say "You should try AA. You could have this, this and this and your life will get better."
It is certainly tempting at times to promote it when someone is looking for an answer that you feel you have.

Good topic. I need to be reminded of that.

YEM 12-03-2012 09:34 AM

I think that if you are simply sharing your experiences about how AA/NA has helped you, it is attraction. If people are creating threads that say "Come get sober with AA! I Havent had a drink in a week! You can do this too!" that would be promotion, in my opinion.

FamilyMan2153 12-03-2012 10:00 AM

I hear what you are saying. When people ask me how I got sober I am quick to say AA when maybe I should talk about the things I learned and did in AA instead of just saying it. I don't want to be that guy, "look at me I am in AA". Hell I was in AA when I was still drinking.

Fernaceman 12-03-2012 10:17 AM

Great topic thx. Constantly need this reminder.

TSDD 12-03-2012 10:34 AM

Along the same line, how does the court system mandating people attend meetings fit in with this?

I suspect it's similar to wondering whether you have a drinking problem. If you're worried something you're doing may be crossing the line, you probably are.

shaun00 12-03-2012 10:48 AM

I like the words......be the light on the hill...

I recall my first sponsor, his contentment and quietness used to bug the life out of me !!...i cant remember him being disturbed by much.
But......that attracted me also, caught my interest , ....my mind wanted the guy with the girls at his feet, the guy with the fast car, and the guy that could quote whole paragraphs of the book at once !! lol

And yet.....something drew me to him, a kinda peace , a kinda detachment, smiling without smiling if you get me ...so i had a little look at the book he had in the car....he was the light on the hill.

I was recently approached by a guy i knew a long time ago...he approached me on face book...years sober and lost.....I believe god put people in my way if i have something to give....be that AA..the supermarket...or SR...maybe i can attract people like my sponsor did, by being quietly humble..rather than the bleeding deacon at a meeting.....i hope and pray i can be the light on the hill.....

Ps....my new friend is about to write inventory, we have spent many happy hours together...one alkie to another...and dare i say it, the beginning of a tiny flame can be seen in his eyes......this deal is better than all the chocolate cakes in all the world ..lol

FamilyMan2153 12-03-2012 11:08 AM

I love people that are silent leaders. You can tell by the look on their face, the way they carry themselves, how they treat other people. Not much needs to be said. I hope I can be that person some day.

sugarbear1 12-03-2012 11:37 AM

not sure about the courts mandating having much to do with this thread, maybe it needs it's own.

The people responsible for court mandated AA may not be here to defend it, or are they here?

onlythetruth 12-03-2012 02:28 PM


Originally Posted by sugarbear1 (Post 3700406)
not sure about the courts mandating having much to do with this thread, maybe it needs it's own.

The people responsible for court mandated AA may not be here to defend it, or are they here?

My thought as a member of another recovery support group is that the idea of attraction rather than promotion has merit for all of us. There is no one group that has the answer for everyone. Which means no one should be court ordered to attend any particular group: if someone is to be court ordered to attend recovery group meetings, the specific group to be attended needs to be up to the person, not the court. (This idea has been confirmed by several courts, actually, on constitutional grounds.)

As far as attraction vs. promotion? Who the heck knows. You'd think that PSAs on the TV and billboards would be over the "promotion" line, but those are done and even at the highest levels (AAWS). That all just confuses me.

awuh1 12-03-2012 03:42 PM

This is a page from AAs GSO that addresses internet issues.
http://www.aa.org/en_pdfs/mg-18_internet.pdf (linked with permission of AAWS)

In my mind attraction vs. promotion has more to do with the difference between saying “You drink too much and you need to go to AA to take care of it” and saying “Do you think you have a problem? If so, perhaps AA can help.” I am amazed to hear people state that they had never heard of AA and would have come earlier if they had only known. I have no trouble with public service announcements. AA can’t help if it can’t be found.

Speaking here on SR is just one drunk helping another.

MycoolFitz 12-03-2012 03:50 PM

I think it can be promoted. Years ago I was court orded. And in my inpatient we were almost herded in, so I don't know

Leadfoot 12-03-2012 05:03 PM

In order to promote something you need a personality to promote it. If I was to say that my name is Insert name here and I endorse AA as a way of life, it would be in violation.

Per tradition 11


11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we
need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and
films.

The way I see it, we're still anonymous here. If I was to use my real name and speaking out for the benefits of AA I would be promoting. By tossing out some fodder for some to raise an eyebrow at the possibility that AA might benefit them in some way is attracting.

Db1105 12-03-2012 05:53 PM


Originally Posted by TSDD (Post 3700312)
Along the same line, how does the court system mandating people attend meetings fit in with this?

I suspect it's similar to wondering whether you have a drinking problem. If you're worried something you're doing may be crossing the line, you probably are.

If I hadn't been sent to AA by the courts, I probably wouldn't of gotten sober. As far as the topic, this site is like a street corner. Just stop and say hi if you want to.

laurie6781 12-03-2012 06:48 PM

I shared this on another thread also:

One of the old timers in my home group had a way of talking to us newcomers face to face and using his long pointy index finger to make his message stick. With every word he would poke the person he was talking to with said finger in THEIR SHOULDER BLADE, rofl he is long gone now and I still miss him.

Anyway, this had been the subject at a meeting one night and after the meeting, standing outside talking he said the following to me:

"laurie, you may be the only copy of a BB that someone ever sees, so you be damn sure that you are a true and accurate copy."

Wow: Did that explain it for me. So, to this day I practice every day to be a 'true and accurate copy of the BB, in 'all my affairs.'

Love and hugs,

KnowHope 12-04-2012 05:11 AM

It seems the phrase "attraction rather than promotion" is often used in a way that has nothing to do with the intended meaning in the tradition that suggests it.

Tradition 11 is a public relations policy. At the level of our public relations - not below the level of public relations - it emphasizes our responsibility regarding personal anonymity. It's the tradition that keeps us from, say, full-faced endorsements on TV, in the papers and in films. This is often in great contrast to how organizations do business with spokespeople at the forefront. But what happens if Frankie Famous stars in AA commercials...and then he relapses? Chances are the public doesn't say Frankie wasn't working the program, or Frankie let go of a life based in spiritual principles and the alcoholic mind caught up with himl, as much as saying see, AA doesn't work because Frankie relapsed. It's not just that it doesn't look good for AA and those alcoholics that are turned off of AA perhaps before they ever walk in the doors, but the record shows it's not good for the alcoholic AA promoter either. There is an almost spooky consistency of relapse for those that have broken this tradition. As the tradition tells us, good public relations saves lives. The alternative is not nearly so appealing.

It does not mean we must walk on eggshells around our primary purpose or can only talk about AA in the "me" form. The good old timers went into hospitals where nobody asked for help, as many of us still do today. Bob himself got Bill's help because Bill was making call after call to find alcoholics to talk with, completely uninvited. But wasn't doing exactly what helped saved Bill after being challenged by the allure of the hotel bar? We go into detoxes where no alcoholics asked for us. We go into jails in the same spirit of finding others to help. These are not mistakes or violations of the 11th tradition at all. Neither are simple ads to let communities know that Alcoholics Anonymous is there. In the Big Book, Working With Others is centered on actively seeking other alcoholics and alcoholic families to help. We see this spirit of approach again in A Vision for You. We can let others in the community know we're available and what we do. Of course, when we set a good example by living the program, it can only be a good thing.

-

"Tradition Eleven - Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain per*sonal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.

Public relations are important to A.A. Good public relations save lives. We seek publicity for A.A. principles, not A.A. members. The press has cooperated. Personal anonymity at the public level is the cornerstone of our public relations policy. Eleventh Tradition is a constant reminder that personal ambition has no place in A.A. Each member becomes an active guardian of our Fellowship."


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