Question about steps 1,2 and 3 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

lilgolden73 · 10-26-2012, 01:59 PM

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.

Question: I have done this, admitted I have a drinking problem, does this require anything else?

Step 2 and 3: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God

Question: I believe in a higher power, I never stopped and have always known putting my faith in GOD would help me overcome many of my life's woes, I just got lost for awhile, now that I realize this, and have found an Non-denominational church we love, and have been letting go and let god do his work, is their anything else I need to do with this?

Step 4 is going to be alot of work I think!

I would appreciate and welcome all input! Thanks so much SR peeps!

lilgolden73 · 10-26-2012, 02:01 PM

I guess I will continue on the first 3 steps, 4 is going to be a tough one...sigh!

MIRecovery · 10-26-2012, 02:02 PM

Are you working with a sponsor?

lilgolden73 · 10-26-2012, 02:04 PM

No I am not working with a sponsor, my time is spread thin between work and home, I am looking into meetings that may work, but for now, none do, I have to do SR from my phone when I pee sometimes cuz I have so much going on, TMI I know, BUT you get what I'm saying, right?

Sapling · 10-26-2012, 02:21 PM

You really have to make the time to do this with a sponsor and attend some meetings...This was life and death for me...I always had time to get drunk...I changed what I did with that time.

lilgolden73 · 10-26-2012, 02:26 PM

True sapling...except I drank at home doing other things.....sigh!

MIRecovery · 10-26-2012, 02:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sapling

You really have to make the time to do this with a sponsor and attend some meetings...This was life and death for me...I always had time to get drunk...I changed what I did with that time.

Sapling is 100% correct, check your PM

Sapling · 10-26-2012, 02:30 PM

I had to ask myself...What is my life worth to me?...And what lengths am I willing to go to...to save it?

Sapling · 10-26-2012, 02:33 PM

By the way...It sounds like you are ready for step four...Is it easy?...No...Taking a brutally honest look at yourself is not easy...I prayed my way through it.

lilgolden73 · 10-26-2012, 02:43 PM

I figured as much sapling...this one will be very hard!

Sapling · 10-26-2012, 03:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lilgolden73

I figured as much sapling...this one will be very hard!

I found it very eye opening....Getting down to the causes and conditions of my alcoholism....To get rid of what was blocking me from good...And God...As I understand God. God...Good...Life....It's all the same for me....I didn't know what they meant by working the steps...Step four explained that to me. I've seen more people leave AA because they wouldn't do that step....I loved it....That is where change happened for me...Good luck...With whatever you do.

lilgolden73 · 10-26-2012, 05:55 PM

Thanks sapling! Meetings aren't ruled out...just till I figure it all out!

tomsteve · 10-26-2012, 06:00 PM

good on ya for wanting to work the steps.
on the 1st step, it isnt about admitting we have a drinking problem.

you believe in God and awesome to see ya found a non denominational church. step 3:
my will is my thoughts my life is my actions. turn em over and let Him run the show.

yup, highly suggest gettin a sponsor that will guide you through the steps.

step 4: it isnt as bad as we make it out to be. AA doesnt have us do anything that will hurt us. beings how alcohol is but a symptom of a much deeper problem, we gotta find out what them problems are and what makes us tick.

lilgolden73 · 10-26-2012, 06:02 PM

Thanks!! I have family in escanaba ....hope you don't get buried undere this winter

tomsteve · 10-26-2012, 06:18 PM

naw, im a troll!

bi11fish · 10-27-2012, 10:21 AM

The part I missed in Step One was the 2nd half---unmanageability, I thought that when I put down the drink, then I could go on acting like I always had before---I was in control you see. I could not get thru steps 2 & 3 until I admitted I was powerless over a lot more than alcohol.

sugarbear1 · 10-27-2012, 03:12 PM

When I sponsor myself, I have someone not knowledgeable enough with the steps to really make them work and I end up drinking. Working with a sponsor is the only way I could stay stopped and move on to where life is truly worth living sober. If you aren't willing to go to any lengths to stay stopped, then maybe AA isn't what you need.

There are online sponsors! Search for: aa online chatroom

It's not the meetings that make or keep me sober, it's my relationship with a higher power and by working the steps with a human sponsor who knows how to work the steps.

None of my 4th steps took longer than a few hours with my 5th step the following morning. ONE restless night of sleep only.

The third time through the steps my sponsor shared with me how the sponsor walks another through the 12 steps. I couldn't do that on my own!

I didn't drink and then become an alcoholic. My alcoholism caused me to drink.

I strongly suggest you don't try to figure out AA, it doesn't work like that.

Why not find a program of recovery that you can do on your own? Rational Recovery, AVRT, SMART, Women for Recovery, Life Ring are programs which do not require a sponsor.

I wish you well!

lilgolden73 · 10-29-2012, 06:36 AM

Um....ok.....everyone is different and when someone tells me I can't do something it inspires me to prove them wrong ....so I thank you! I do appreciate your advice however, I process every piece I get, I will look into the online sponsor actually! Now, what I have found personally is that when SOME people get sober they can become judgemental....I have seen it in full action, SO, I will add that to my NOT to do sober list!! Thanks so much!

omegasupreme · 10-29-2012, 07:17 AM

Trying to figure this all out sounded great to me at one point too. Turns out that book is meant to transmit experience not knowledge. It would be like giving me a 164 page manual for a 747. I can read it. I can learn it. I can even tell you what you should do if you ever find yourself in the cockpit. The deal is though, you won't want to be around if I ever end up in the cockpit.

What I lacked was practical application of the principles. Anyone including this bozo can read it and sound good in a meeting. The bottom line is Alconomics 101 or Stepology 103 nearly killed me in AA. What's the capacity of a 55 gallon drum? What if it's full of feces? What if it has a lid on it? The capacity is the same, however the ability may be different.

miamifella · 10-29-2012, 01:42 PM

I was always told that you are supposed to do the first three steps by yourself and do the fourth with a sponsor. On SR I found out that this is not a universally held belief.

For me the hardest part of 12-step recovery was the lack of one-on-one support--so I never made it to step 4 and working with a sponsor. From my experience, I recommend finding someone who will work with you on the first three steps. I think that one-on-one support is vital to recovery. So if you can find it in AA, then I say go for it. It will make a BIG difference!

10-26-2012, 01:59 PM	#1 (permalink)
lilgolden73 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere in the sands of time Posts: 1,206 Blog Entries: 11	Question about steps 1,2 and 3 Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable. Question: I have done this, admitted I have a drinking problem, does this require anything else? Step 2 and 3: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God Question: I believe in a higher power, I never stopped and have always known putting my faith in GOD would help me overcome many of my life's woes, I just got lost for awhile, now that I realize this, and have found an Non-denominational church we love, and have been letting go and let god do his work, is their anything else I need to do with this? Step 4 is going to be alot of work I think! I would appreciate and welcome all input! Thanks so much SR peeps! __________________ Lola "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth". "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."

10-26-2012, 02:01 PM	#2 (permalink)
lilgolden73 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere in the sands of time Posts: 1,206 Blog Entries: 11	I guess I will continue on the first 3 steps, 4 is going to be a tough one...sigh! __________________ Lola "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth". "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."

10-26-2012, 02:02 PM	#3 (permalink)
MIRecovery A Day at a Time Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Grand Rapids MI Posts: 1,563	Are you working with a sponsor? __________________ I've dealt with my ghosts and faced all my demons Finally content with a past I regret I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness For once I'm at peace with myself

10-26-2012, 02:04 PM	#4 (permalink)
lilgolden73 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere in the sands of time Posts: 1,206 Blog Entries: 11	No I am not working with a sponsor, my time is spread thin between work and home, I am looking into meetings that may work, but for now, none do, I have to do SR from my phone when I pee sometimes cuz I have so much going on, TMI I know, BUT you get what I'm saying, right? __________________ Lola "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth". "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."

10-26-2012, 02:26 PM	#6 (permalink)
lilgolden73 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere in the sands of time Posts: 1,206 Blog Entries: 11	True sapling...except I drank at home doing other things.....sigh! __________________ Lola "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth". "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."

10-26-2012, 02:21 PM	#5 (permalink)
Sapling AA Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Between Meetings Posts: 9,004	You really have to make the time to do this with a sponsor and attend some meetings...This was life and death for me...I always had time to get drunk...I changed what I did with that time.

10-26-2012, 02:30 PM	#8 (permalink)
Sapling AA Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Between Meetings Posts: 9,004	I had to ask myself...What is my life worth to me?...And what lengths am I willing to go to...to save it?

10-26-2012, 02:33 PM	#9 (permalink)
Sapling AA Member Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: Between Meetings Posts: 9,004	By the way...It sounds like you are ready for step four...Is it easy?...No...Taking a brutally honest look at yourself is not easy...I prayed my way through it.

10-26-2012, 02:43 PM	#10 (permalink)
lilgolden73 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere in the sands of time Posts: 1,206 Blog Entries: 11	I figured as much sapling...this one will be very hard! __________________ Lola "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth". "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."

10-26-2012, 05:55 PM	#12 (permalink)
lilgolden73 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere in the sands of time Posts: 1,206 Blog Entries: 11	Thanks sapling! Meetings aren't ruled out...just till I figure it all out! __________________ Lola "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth". "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."

10-26-2012, 06:00 PM	#13 (permalink)
tomsteve Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: northern michigan. not the U.P. Posts: 2,849	good on ya for wanting to work the steps. on the 1st step, it isnt about admitting we have a drinking problem. you believe in God and awesome to see ya found a non denominational church. step 3: my will is my thoughts my life is my actions. turn em over and let Him run the show. yup, highly suggest gettin a sponsor that will guide you through the steps. step 4: it isnt as bad as we make it out to be. AA doesnt have us do anything that will hurt us. beings how alcohol is but a symptom of a much deeper problem, we gotta find out what them problems are and what makes us tick. __________________ all big book quotes from 1st edition

10-26-2012, 06:02 PM	#14 (permalink)
lilgolden73 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere in the sands of time Posts: 1,206 Blog Entries: 11	Thanks!! I have family in escanaba ....hope you don't get buried undere this winter __________________ Lola "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth". "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."

10-26-2012, 06:18 PM	#15 (permalink)
tomsteve Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: northern michigan. not the U.P. Posts: 2,849	naw, im a troll! __________________ all big book quotes from 1st edition

10-27-2012, 10:21 AM	#16 (permalink)
bi11fish Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Pine Grove, PA Posts: 98	The part I missed in Step One was the 2nd half---unmanageability, I thought that when I put down the drink, then I could go on acting like I always had before---I was in control you see. I could not get thru steps 2 & 3 until I admitted I was powerless over a lot more than alcohol.

10-27-2012, 03:12 PM	#17 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,761	When I sponsor myself, I have someone not knowledgeable enough with the steps to really make them work and I end up drinking. Working with a sponsor is the only way I could stay stopped and move on to where life is truly worth living sober. If you aren't willing to go to any lengths to stay stopped, then maybe AA isn't what you need. There are online sponsors! Search for: aa online chatroom It's not the meetings that make or keep me sober, it's my relationship with a higher power and by working the steps with a human sponsor who knows how to work the steps. None of my 4th steps took longer than a few hours with my 5th step the following morning. ONE restless night of sleep only. The third time through the steps my sponsor shared with me how the sponsor walks another through the 12 steps. I couldn't do that on my own! I didn't drink and then become an alcoholic. My alcoholism caused me to drink. I strongly suggest you don't try to figure out AA, it doesn't work like that. Why not find a program of recovery that you can do on your own? Rational Recovery, AVRT, SMART, Women for Recovery, Life Ring are programs which do not require a sponsor. I wish you well! __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

10-29-2012, 06:36 AM	#18 (permalink)
lilgolden73 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: Somewhere in the sands of time Posts: 1,206 Blog Entries: 11	Um....ok.....everyone is different and when someone tells me I can't do something it inspires me to prove them wrong ....so I thank you! I do appreciate your advice however, I process every piece I get, I will look into the online sponsor actually! Now, what I have found personally is that when SOME people get sober they can become judgemental....I have seen it in full action, SO, I will add that to my NOT to do sober list!! Thanks so much! __________________ Lola "First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you." "It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth". "Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness."

10-29-2012, 07:17 AM	#19 (permalink)
omegasupreme Member Join Date: Nov 2009 Location: The Trenches, Texas Posts: 750	Trying to figure this all out sounded great to me at one point too. Turns out that book is meant to transmit experience not knowledge. It would be like giving me a 164 page manual for a 747. I can read it. I can learn it. I can even tell you what you should do if you ever find yourself in the cockpit. The deal is though, you won't want to be around if I ever end up in the cockpit. What I lacked was practical application of the principles. Anyone including this bozo can read it and sound good in a meeting. The bottom line is Alconomics 101 or Stepology 103 nearly killed me in AA. What's the capacity of a 55 gallon drum? What if it's full of feces? What if it has a lid on it? The capacity is the same, however the ability may be different. __________________ “There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.”-Anthony de Mello

10-29-2012, 01:42 PM	#20 (permalink)
miamifella Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Miami, FL Posts: 883	I was always told that you are supposed to do the first three steps by yourself and do the fourth with a sponsor. On SR I found out that this is not a universally held belief. For me the hardest part of 12-step recovery was the lack of one-on-one support--so I never made it to step 4 and working with a sponsor. From my experience, I recommend finding someone who will work with you on the first three steps. I think that one-on-one support is vital to recovery. So if you can find it in AA, then I say go for it. It will make a BIG difference!

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