Most unmanageable aspect of your former life - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Elisabeth888 · 10-18-2012, 12:50 PM

What was it?

I am trying to pinpoint what mine was. I guess it was many, many things, but I am trying to figure out what the hallmark of the unmanageability was.

Hexipuff · 10-18-2012, 01:02 PM

One of my was complete and utter self hatred. I drank to get away from myself. I then hated myself for drinking and spiralled down and down until I could barely function on some levels. I could not relax, I could not sleep, I could not love or like. I just got by surviving not living.

MycoolFitz · 10-18-2012, 01:15 PM

Mine was insomnia because afraid to sleep because of dreams

tomsteve · 10-18-2012, 01:26 PM

everything.

pipparina · 10-18-2012, 01:28 PM

never knowing what would happen to me or what I would do after taking that first drink. I just never knew where/how I would end up.

***least*** · 10-18-2012, 01:51 PM

All of it, but especially the self hatred.

And the waking up wishing I were dead.

sugarbear1 · 10-18-2012, 02:17 PM

Me. My brain.

Rossy · 10-18-2012, 02:23 PM

The past few attempts on my life.

***PaperDolls*** · 10-18-2012, 02:42 PM

My emotions and feelings ..... it made everything unmanageable.

bbthumper · 10-18-2012, 02:44 PM

Being sober

CousinA · 10-18-2012, 03:04 PM

Not being able to get off the park bench, the bed, the floor... there was NO manageable aspect of my life.

Gottalife · 10-18-2012, 07:40 PM

I was unable to manage my regular decisions not to drink. I could not manage to avoid the strange mental blank spot the always preceeded the first drink. Though I stopped frequently, i could not manage my life in a way to stay stopped.

Boleo · 10-19-2012, 02:22 AM

The Bedevilments

"We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people - was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight?"
(page 52)

MrsKing · 10-19-2012, 03:18 AM

NOTHING was manageable, but I'd say my emotions were the hardest to manage. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted, what I liked, what I disliked, I hated everyone and everything and then was loving life... everything was so up and down and I didn't know truly how I felt about anything because I was so unstable that my mind would do u-turns in seconds. But, yay! It's all gone now

muvinon · 10-19-2012, 06:30 AM

I made a list for my step work, listing it all out. Ran 3/4 of a page, in fact.

I did not stop drinking until I could absolutely not juggle life anymore. I was completely and utterly defeated.

And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt......there was worse to come.

stairs · 10-19-2012, 07:15 AM

It was a good day if I managed to brush my teeth!
The mental obsession, physical compulsion and spiritual selfishness of addiction made my life unmanageable in every way.

Db1105 · 10-19-2012, 07:36 AM

Not being able to say no to a drink.

Lily · 10-19-2012, 07:48 AM

Wow...great answers so far....mine would be unable to control my emotions, unable to control others, unable to control institutions, getting agitated over everything, frustrated when my manipulations didn't work.

foodie1 · 10-19-2012, 07:54 AM

Interesting thread! My biggest Unmanageable was dealing with my emotions. Learning how to deal with life as it comes has been one of the best things about sobriety.

CommunityDawn · 10-19-2012, 07:04 PM

My current life is unmanageable: housework not done, behind on assignments, daughter has no routine etc. I have to get a job and don't know how I'm going to juggle that with parenting on my own. I couldn't manage working full-time even before motherhood. Wish I had time to go to AA but it will be a once per fortnight thing. They say that if you put sobriety first, life will eventually become more manageable, but how can you put it first when you are so busy surviving? I'm so scared that working will push me over the edge of unmanageability and trigger even more drinking. I hope this reminds people of how far they have come.

10-18-2012, 12:50 PM	#1 (permalink)
Elisabeth888 Member Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: NE GA Posts: 1,411	Most unmanageable aspect of your former life What was it? I am trying to pinpoint what mine was. I guess it was many, many things, but I am trying to figure out what the hallmark of the unmanageability was.

10-18-2012, 01:02 PM	#2 (permalink)
Hexipuff Hexipuff Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Kent UK Posts: 369	One of my was complete and utter self hatred. I drank to get away from myself. I then hated myself for drinking and spiralled down and down until I could barely function on some levels. I could not relax, I could not sleep, I could not love or like. I just got by surviving not living. __________________ I am what I think. Copyright: Women for Sobriety, Inc When my dog winks at me, I always wink back in case it's some sort of code

10-18-2012, 01:15 PM	#3 (permalink)
MycoolFitz Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Here, Now Posts: 4,271	Mine was insomnia because afraid to sleep because of dreams __________________ What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly ~ Lao Tsu

10-18-2012, 01:26 PM	#4 (permalink)
tomsteve Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: northern michigan. not the U.P. Posts: 3,102	everything. __________________ all big book quotes from 1st edition

10-18-2012, 01:28 PM	#5 (permalink)
pipparina Member Join Date: Aug 2012 Location: NYC Posts: 1,226	never knowing what would happen to me or what I would do after taking that first drink. I just never knew where/how I would end up. __________________ "The mind is its own place; it can make a hell of heaven or a heaven of hell" Milton

10-18-2012, 01:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
*least* bona fido dog-lover Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: eastern USA Posts: 29,219 Blog Entries: 31	All of it, but especially the self hatred. And the waking up wishing I were dead. __________________ I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them. Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole. Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley

10-18-2012, 02:17 PM	#7 (permalink)
sugarbear1 ~sb Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: MD Posts: 9,865	Me. My brain. __________________ Someday everything will all make sense. For now, laugh at confusion, smile through tears, & remind yourself that everything happens for a reason. All Big Book quotes are from the first edition. Linked with the permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc.

10-18-2012, 02:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
Rossy Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: Scotland Posts: 474	The past few attempts on my life.

10-18-2012, 02:42 PM	#9 (permalink)
*PaperDolls* Community Greeter Join Date: May 2004 Location: Midwest Posts: 7,827 Blog Entries: 10	My emotions and feelings ..... it made everything unmanageable. __________________ Advice is like snow; the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind. --Samuel T. Coleridg

10-18-2012, 02:44 PM	#10 (permalink)
bbthumper Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: Cleveland, OH Posts: 1,152	Being sober __________________ *~BBThumper* ~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell. C. S. Lewis

10-18-2012, 03:04 PM	#11 (permalink)
CousinA Member Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: New York, NY Posts: 79	Not being able to get off the park bench, the bed, the floor... there was NO manageable aspect of my life.

10-18-2012, 07:40 PM	#12 (permalink)
Gottalife AA MEMBER Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: New Zealand Posts: 594	I was unable to manage my regular decisions not to drink. I could not manage to avoid the strange mental blank spot the always preceeded the first drink. Though I stopped frequently, i could not manage my life in a way to stay stopped. __________________ God bless, Mike. It is in the trying that we succeed All BB quotes from 1st Edition.

10-19-2012, 02:22 AM	#13 (permalink)
Boleo boleon Join Date: May 2008 Location: Detroit, MI Posts: 4,001	The Bedevilments "We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of real help to other people - was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we should see newsreels of lunar flight?" (page 52) __________________ >>> If it makes sense - It ain't spiritual! - All Big Book quotes are from first Edition -

10-19-2012, 03:18 AM	#14 (permalink)
MrsKing Member Join Date: Jun 2012 Location: UK Posts: 1,142	NOTHING was manageable, but I'd say my emotions were the hardest to manage. I didn't know who I was, what I wanted, what I liked, what I disliked, I hated everyone and everything and then was loving life... everything was so up and down and I didn't know truly how I felt about anything because I was so unstable that my mind would do u-turns in seconds. But, yay! It's all gone now

10-19-2012, 06:30 AM	#15 (permalink)
muvinon Member Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Houston Texas Posts: 541	I made a list for my step work, listing it all out. Ran 3/4 of a page, in fact. I did not stop drinking until I could absolutely not juggle life anymore. I was completely and utterly defeated. And I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt......there was worse to come.

10-19-2012, 07:15 AM	#16 (permalink)
stairs Peace Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 1,139 Blog Entries: 72	It was a good day if I managed to brush my teeth! The mental obsession, physical compulsion and spiritual selfishness of addiction made my life unmanageable in every way. __________________ Clean Date 08~20~12

10-19-2012, 07:36 AM	#17 (permalink)
Db1105 Member Join Date: Jan 2012 Location: De Posts: 631	Not being able to say no to a drink.

10-19-2012, 07:48 AM	#18 (permalink)
Lily Grateful Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Midwest Posts: 2,504 Blog Entries: 11	Wow...great answers so far....mine would be unable to control my emotions, unable to control others, unable to control institutions, getting agitated over everything, frustrated when my manipulations didn't work.

10-19-2012, 07:54 AM	#19 (permalink)
foodie1 Member Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: Oregon Posts: 826 Blog Entries: 28	Interesting thread! My biggest Unmanageable was dealing with my emotions. Learning how to deal with life as it comes has been one of the best things about sobriety.

10-19-2012, 07:04 PM	#20 (permalink)
CommunityDawn Member Join Date: Mar 2012 Location: Down under Posts: 72	My current life is unmanageable: housework not done, behind on assignments, daughter has no routine etc. I have to get a job and don't know how I'm going to juggle that with parenting on my own. I couldn't manage working full-time even before motherhood. Wish I had time to go to AA but it will be a once per fortnight thing. They say that if you put sobriety first, life will eventually become more manageable, but how can you put it first when you are so busy surviving? I'm so scared that working will push me over the edge of unmanageability and trigger even more drinking. I hope this reminds people of how far they have come.

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