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|10-03-2012, 01:38 PM||#1 (permalink)|
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
Homegroup Members Bad Relapse.....
I wasn't showing up to my regular after work type 6pm meeting & ran into a guy who called me & left a message asking me where I have been. Up until this point, I have never really been missed at meetings as I have been in and out of AA for years. Anyways, this group is very close & recently a member disappeared & stopped coming. Well now it's been conformed that this guys bike was spotted at Charley's Bar & Grill. Needless to say, he relapsed after just celebrating a year. What is the right thing to do? People have been calling him & he is ignoring all calls. Should we storm into the bar & talk to him? Of course, this may be a bit too much but this guy is a severe alcoholic who has been homeless, has seizures, brain functioning problems ect.....
|10-03-2012, 01:55 PM||#2 (permalink)|
Forward we go...side by side
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
When you go on a 12th Step call...our BB says to take 2 people.
I doubt storming the bar is a good idea...
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!
|10-03-2012, 02:08 PM||#3 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2004
Blog Entries: 10
I've never stormed into a bar ..... I agree with Carol, probably not a good idea.
“I am responsible . . .
When anyone, anywhere, reaches out for help,
I want the hand of A.A. always to be there.
And for that: I am responsible.”
When someone asks for help, I'm there.
Advice is like snow; the softer it falls the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.
--Samuel T. Coleridg
|10-03-2012, 02:22 PM||#4 (permalink)|
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
1. "You can lead a horse to water"
2. "But you can't make em drink."
When it comes to alcoholics, you can't even do the first part without their asking for it.
>>> If it makes sense - It ain't spiritual!
- All Big Book quotes are from first Edition -
|10-03-2012, 02:25 PM||#5 (permalink)|
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Cleveland, OH
Ive always just called the individual and let them know that if they need anyone to talk to, we are there for him/ her. No sense in chasing them down if they dont want to talk.
~All Big Book Quotes from the 1st edition
A man can no more diminish God's glory by refusing to worship Him than a lunatic can put out the sun by scribbling the word, 'darkness' on the walls of his cell.
C. S. Lewis
|10-03-2012, 02:50 PM||#6 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2008
Be there if he reaches out, pray for him... That's all you can do, that's all you should do.
|10-03-2012, 02:58 PM||#7 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Houston Texas
I call and let people know.......thinking about you. If you need help, call back. I really find that works. I do hear back often, and people are honest.....say they aren't ready. That's cool, too.
But it's nice to see that they trust me. I figure....never know. Might call and be ready one day.
|10-03-2012, 04:50 PM||#8 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: PHX Suburbs
Try to call and then let it be. It's his journey.
|10-03-2012, 09:40 PM||#9 (permalink)|
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: The Trenches, Texas
Our text suggests that we might even spoil a future opportunity by bringing too much zeal to the table when approaching someone that may not be finished, not that anyone in here would ever bring zeal.
My sponsor tells a story from a step workshop he and some pals did one time. This newcomer, after the workshop ended up in the bar drinking. So my sponsor and his pals went in and removed her, told the bartender they were in recovery yada yada yada. They leave, the newcomer ends up back in the bar. They get her again and this time remove her prosthetic leg so she can't walk. Later on she ended up back in the bar...hopped back on one leg. He tells it much better but you get the point...
“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.”-Anthony de Mello
|10-04-2012, 05:00 PM||#10 (permalink)|
Fellow Traveler and Seeker
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Early in recovery a friend and I were in a meeting with another friend who was struggling. He left halfway through the meeting to go to a bar. Against the advice of my grandsponsor in the meeting, we followed this guy, trying to convince him to not drink, go for coffee, see a movie...ended up at a bar, watching him drink a beer. I had to leave.
I had to take my "rescue" hat off and realize that I can't help someone who isn't ready for it. It was the last time I did something like that. But what I did later on when he'd call me is tell him I can meet him at a meeting, or tell him what coffee shop I would be at and he can join me.
|10-05-2012, 05:34 AM||#11 (permalink)|
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
i agree with what has been said. it also says in the BB that if your prospect is not responsive, dont waster your time. i learned through experience that pushing myself on people that dont want it can push them away from recovery.
all big book quotes from 1st edition
|10-05-2012, 06:45 AM||#12 (permalink)|
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
I have to think back to when I was drinking, when my wife, my family and friends were telling me I drank too much and warned me about the consequences. Alcohol talked louder than any of them so what makes me think anything has changed?
The Big Book says John Barleycorn is the best convincer. Stay in touch, let him know you're there and care.
|10-05-2012, 07:34 PM||#14 (permalink)|
Powerless over Alcohol
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Trudging the Road to Happy Destiny!
Well I agree with just letting them know the doors are open, and we dont eat our wounded.
And I just sent a prayer out for that..
"The only real thing in life are dreams, which nature cant touch with decay." Bob Dylan
"Each day,somewhere in the world ,recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic , sharing experience,strength and hope."
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